Praying into 2016: a Christian prayer thread for the New Year

[Tuo]

Happy New Year friends.

This thread is a safe space where anyone - regular, occasional visitor, lurker, committed Christian or waverer - is welcome to come and leave their prayers in the knowledge that they will be prayed for. No problem is too big or small to share here, and if you just want to come and say 'hi', that's fine too.

Looking back through our previous thread, we pray in particular for:

ALittleFaith - for good treatment for her anxiety; for better understanding from her boss; for the lovely Faithlet.

amberlight - for her work supporting people with autism, and for her and her family.

Anjelica27 - for her DS, who has mental health problems, and for Anjelica and her family.

BlackEyedSusan - for all that she has to juggle as a single mum, for her DC, and for her mum. Praying for a peaceful and happy 2016.

Dontbesilly - for her dad, who has been diagnosed with cancer, and for all who love and care for him; also for the medical team looking after him; for her DH's work situation; and for Don't's DDog who has a heart condition.

DutchOma - with gratitude for all she does to support people on this thread and elsewhere. Thinking of her especially as the anniversary of the loss of her beloved Bob approaches, in particular after the recent death of her brother as well. May she know God's closeness to her in her grief.

EdithSimcox - for her to be able to find ways to support and nurture her faith; and for understanding from her DP.

FaithLoveandHope - for clarity about what she wants (and what God wants) for her future.

HardyLeodicean - especially for her FIL.

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece - for her to find comfort and joy in exploring her faith; also for a good recovery from heart surgery for her best friend's dad.

JugglingFromHereToThere - for her search for rewarding work, for health, and for comfort and strength for her and the rest of her family following the tragic death of her nephew.

Kaykat - following her divorce from an abusive ex; for happiness for her and for her DS.

legohurtswhenyoustandonit - for her to feel more at home and accepted by her church.

LifeofBriony - for her relationship with her DH; also for her DS going back to university after Christmas.

LightnessofBeing - for her new church, and for energy to cope with her punishing work schedule.

MadHairDay - for her health, especially in the cold, wet winter months which are always so hard on her lungs.

Pandora97 - as she starts a new job in a new town for the new year following difficult and stressful times relating to a court case in recent months.

passportmess (formerly known as QuietIsland) - for a colleague whose husband is very ill, and for a university friend who has been diagnosed with cancer.

PatchworkTurtle - for healing in her relationship.

PositiveAttitude - for her DD1, who is depressed, to get the support she needs; for her DD3 and her DH to work through their relationship issues; for PA's DH to find work that makes him happier, for PA's DMum to continue to be happy in her (relatively) new care home and for PA's DDad to cope with her being there. Above all, we pray for PA herself, who is always there for others when they need her, to be happy and fulfilled in 2016.

QoF - for courage when she is feeling anxious.

ScouseQueen - for a full recovery from recent illness.

SESthebrave - for her DH, who has been working abroad, and for SES, juggling everything at home; for her DS to find ways of communicating, rather than lashing out, when he is frustrated; and for her to feel appreciated for the work she does at her church.

TheRealGracePoole - for her ministry to women in her area.

weegiemum - giving thanks for an improvement in her DD1's (borderline) anorexia; praying for weegiemum's own health and for the Master's course which she has undertaken.

And, as always, prayers for anyone I've forgotten (with apologies), for all who lurk but don't post, for 'old-timers' who haven't posted recently, and for newbies who may not have posted yet.

A prayer of St Teresa of Avila

Let nothing disturb you.
Let nothing frighten you.
All things pass away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things.
Those who have God
Find they lack nothing;
God alone suffices. Amen

[Dutchomainapeartree]

Thanks TUO. I pray fr you as well, in your new house, with the new part of your job and with all you have to juggle.
I give thanks, with you, for the successful operation for your husband, praying that somehow he may have felt there was a blessing from the Lord for him in all that has happened. Praying also for your dds, that they may be happy whatever they are doing.

Welcome Howbadisthis

And happy new year to all friends old and new.

[PositiveAttitude]

Thank you Tuo.

Praying through for everyone. Happy new year to you all.

[amberlight]

Thank you, Tuo. Sending love and prayers to all, and hoping for a year blessed with joy for everyone.

[Dutchomainapeartree]

Reposting Howbadisthisplease message at the end of the last thread for prayer for MamaTeeTee's husband whose car was found in the sea, suicide likely. Her thread is in bereavement.

[legohurtswhenyoustandonit]

Happy New Year! Best wishes to everyone.

Glad to hear your DH is feeling better TUO and that the treatment was successful.

I love that prayer by St Teresa. I tend to be a bit of a worrier and it shows me that the prayers which were written all those centuries ago are just as valid now, because nothing really changes.

[BlackeyedShepherdsbringsheep]

I feel attrociaous. could not sleep as I had a difficult txt conversation about mother.

she is getting to me even when she is not doing anything herself.

[Dutchomainapeartree]

Are you going over today BES?

[BlackeyedShepherdsbringsheep]

nope.

pmed you oma. need advice.

and to others.:
two children , one with ASD, violetn meltdowns if not controlled carefully with all sorts of adaptions to life. one with hypermobility, requires daily physio/ot. in the middle of a series of hospital visits and clinic visits.

single parent to children. ex does not have on his own.

mother elderly. anxiety. terrible anxiety. a relative thinks I should move the children and go and live near mother. (different schools and different gp and different hospital)

I am at full stretch already anything extra means a ball gets dropped somewhere else.

I feel like a terrible daughter and a terrible parent as I am trying to juggle helping children and mother and doing a bad job of both.

[Tuo]

Oh BES. Praying for clarity for you in all this.

It's very hard to advise without knowing all the details, but I think that moving should be a last resort unless there is something else in it for you (e.g. more help with the DC or better schools or something...). Would it help to talk to your mum's GP about what help she needs and how it can be provided, given that you are physically and practical unable to provide all that she needs right now? This is something that worries me a lot, as my parents are - thank God - fit and well right now, but live very far away (8 hours in the car) so it will be very hard when they need more support than they currently do. It does strike me that you need informed advice from someone who is not invested in the situation (i.e. not a relative). Might CAB have useful information?

Above all, sweetheart, it is abundantly clear from your posts on here that you are anything but a bad daughter or a bad mother: on the contrary you expend an enormous amount of time, energy and effort on doing all you can - and then some - for those who are dependent on you. Please remember that you have needs too, and that you need to ensure that those are met as well as trying to meet the needs of others. (Jesus said that we should love our neighbours as ourselves, not at the expense of ourselves.) Look after yourself, won't you?

Welcoming Howbadisthisplease to this new thread - please do keep posting. And praying for MamaTeeTee in what is an awful situation.

[BlackeyedShepherdsbringsheep]

It is really hard not to think that I could have done a little bit more. I am absolutely shattered though. and sometimes think I have done too much.

I allow myself to get stressed about her. I struggle with not getting peace and quiet as ds and dd are pretty relentless themselves (being children with additional needs)

the computer keeps randomnly crashign as well.

[BlackeyedShepherdsbringsheep]

I could do with prayer about an email I need to write re my mother.

and prayer for the kitchen cleaning before a delivery on thursday and ex getting more of his stuff. he took some today. I have had space to put away things as I have cleared some things out of the cupboard.

[QofF]

Thank you tuo, you are so lovely to do this and detail everyone's individual need for prayer when you have so much on yourself. Giving thanks for your dh's treatment.
bes You are a mum and daughter that anyone would be lucky to have. You are incredibly giving and selfless and I am not surprised you are finding it too much. Am praying for calm, and practical help for you.

[BlackeyedShepherdsbringsheep]

I think I am given out. I do a lot of sitting around as I am exhausted. this makes me feel a bit guilty as I should be doingsomething. anything... til I drop... but I have dropped... see... round and round and round.

[Tuo]

I recognise that feeling, BES (though my juggling is mostly around work stuff, so less emotionally draining that what you are dealing with). It's a vicious circle: you rush around busy-busy-busy till you collapse in a heap, and then you feel guilty for having collapsed in a heap when there is so much still to do, so you rush-rush-rush again, but you're exhausted so you don't function as well as you would if you were less tired and so you feel bad again for not getting stuff done.

It's a bit pots and kettles for me to be giving advice on this, but I think that the trick is to have a sense of what is feasible (not what you - or others [Paddington hard stare at BES's relative] - think you should be doing, but what you physically and feasibly can do) and then work out a timetable for that. Anything else (barring real emergencies) you just have to say 'no' to. When you work out your timetable, put in some 'collapse in a heap' time too. It's OK to make time for yourself to MN or read or watch some telly or whatever, and knowing that you have this scheduled can get you through the busy times. I know it's easier said than done, though.

Praying my lovely, and don't be too hard on yourself.

I forgot to say thank you for all the prayers for DH. He's doing well, in some discomfort but basically fine and glad that the stone has gone.

[BlackeyedShepherdsbringsheep]

I have been prescribed 30 minutes per day relaxing by the dr which I am good at doing in the week when they are at school. I need a lot more though as it is very draining dealing with meltdowns. if he has had abig one it takes a couple of hours for the adrenaline to drain from th esystem and get calm.

[BlackeyedShepherdsbringsheep]

ex is supposed to be here. he was still in another city at 2.20

[BlackeyedShepherdsbringsheep]

still waiting for the phone call to say he is ome. the children are dressed and ready.

[PositiveAttitude]

BES is there any chance of your mum moving closer to you so that you can visit without all the hassle of the long trip? I do sympathise with the demanding parent guilt. My dad is king of the "make everyone feel as if they are not doing enough" brigade!!

Very pleased that DH is doing well Tuo

Prayers for DO especially, but also for everyone else here.

Dad is on the war path.....he is going to phone the nursing home and demand to know what they are doing about making mum well so that she can get home. He is in total denial about Alzheimers even though she was diagnosed 8 years ago and had been having issues for 4 years before that. She is in the end stages now and he STILL believes she is messing about and will get over this "nonsense illness"!! there is no telling him, so I am going to warn the nursing home staff that he is going to be questioning them.

[BlackeyedShepherdsbringsheep]

oh heck. PA good luck with the nursing home.

[BlackeyedShepherdsbringsheep]

Oma How are you doing.

we got to their dads at about half past four. this is another day we arranged contact and him being late.[eyeroll]

progress has been made on the flat. he has taken quite a lot of stuff today and yesterday. I need to shovel out the kitchen still . I have emptied some carrier bags of stuff, washed and put it away or put it nearly away in some cases. there is still a lot to do. sometimes it is too overwhelming. four days to get it sorted along with all the other stuff I have to do...like feeding children. talking of which, the freezer is getting a lot emptier.

no progress has been made on emails.

[BlackeyedShepherdsbringsheep]

we are going to try a new church as ours is not meeting today. not sure which to choose. a choice of two or three.

[Dontbesilly]

Happy new year everyone. I am so sorry for not posting recently. I have had a very busy and tough few weeks and as a result of this I am as low as possible.

Dad could not have the operation as planned instead they put a stent in place. Well from the moment he woke up from the anaesthetist he was in pain. That was explained as normal with the operation and procedure. They said it can get worse in the 72 hours post op as the stent opens etc. Extra pain relief was available and dad was to be discharged asap to recover at home as it's much better for the patient.

Each day brought more pain and he was discharged in pain a few days later. At home his pain got even worse. Mum rang everyone at the hospital and as he's discharged get can't go back in its a new admission but it's Xmas and they are busy and doctors are on holiday bla bla. The gp came regularly and was wonderful. Anyway mum ended up calling an ambulance and he's back in hospital. No sign whatsoever from the surgeon who put the stent in but his understudy is around. Then they did an xray as the stent might have moved. The xray results show no stent. So they will scan him. When? Not today it's the holidays. So they up his morphine to the point where he doesn't recognise my mum and is seeing horses in the ward and things moving round the ward.

He went into hospital driving himself in and being able to walk two miles s day round a lake they live near. He could cook and garden and had a quality of life. Yet ten days later he can't walk very far. Needs help walking further than the ward loo and can't tie his shoe laces. He can't eat or drink much and it's agony and he discussed suicide with me. Still the surgeon is holidaying and it's a weekend so nothing can be done. I am absolutely furious with the hospital. Seriously beyond anger. They close ranks and give politicians answers.

My sibling is a doctor and is very knowledgeable and therefore extremely pessimistic. She has taken to confiding in me and instructs me from abroad where she lives, on what I need to say and do next but the medical people listen and fob me off. She also, unknowing terrifies the life out of me when she shares her fears.

Then dh starts the new job tomorrow and is very nervous. He feels it's the wrong thing to do. He is quite a worrier and focuses on the negative. I am trying and failing to motivate him and install positivity. He's had the worst Xmas ever he told me. That's because Xmas and new year passed by in a blur of travelling the long distance to the hospital daily and being a dad's house, sometimes sleeping over incase he got worse and I needed to drive him somewhere etc. The poor kids never once did anything over Xmas. They will go back to school listening to the happy chatter of what everyone else did and teachers love to ask everyone what they did. We have also had mum sleeping here too which can be a tad unusual. She sometimes advises me on my patenting skills and sometimes really mollycoddles the kids when they are in my naughty books.


I feel frightened for the future, really stretched out as I still had to work over Xmas and like I am letting my family down (dh and dc) with regards to not being available for them and their needs. We have an appointment tomorrow with the doctors and it's another early start with mum sleeping over and dh first day in a new job. My house looks like it needs a good hoover and dust and once the tree comes down ⬇ think I will be able to thoroughly clean up.

Praying for all of you. Tuo - Glad the kidney stones were nothing more, although I suffered from these and so did dad and they are agony. Praying for your dh to get better soon and with minimum pain x
Hoping Oma had a good Xmas and new year and the car hunt is back on track. Hoping you were kept busy and were not struggling. I know that this time of year brings you a flood of memories and that it's difficult for you. I have been constantly thinking of you and praying too x

Passport - praying for your friend. What terrible news and so young too. Hoping they can do something about it and she remains positive. Although positivity is hard to find some times. Praying x

Pa - your mum sounds so settled and happy, what a huge relief that must be. Sorry your dad isn't quite on board with everything. Hoping he can adjust soon and come to terms with the situation. It sounds very draining on the family and I will be praying x

Bes - first up you are amazing. You must have 29 hours in your day to achieve all you do. Children with additional needs take a huge amount of time and energy and you do everything on your own. You have your mum to manage and then the childrens dad, who it sounds like is a teenager in himself. It's so hard for you. I think that your cousin needs to spend a day in your life before offering out suggestions that are impractical and causing you unnecessary angst. I really do admire your ability to get on with it despite being exhausted and stretched out. Please don't beat yourself up and do as the doctor ordered with the time to relax. Please you need it.

Praying for all. Sorry for the long babbling chat. It helps to share with you all. It's strange that I can't share this in RL but with you all I can. I feel safe and supported.

Oh and Tuo, thanks for taking the time to start a new thread with everyone listed and I know that you are so busy too!

[Dutchomainapeartree]

Dear, darling dont, what an awful time you have had and that without once being able to offload here because you simply did not have the time.
You have been in my prayers, thank you very much for yours. Yes, it is a hard time of year and this year seems harder than last. Be that as it may, I have been happily knitting and have booked a flight on the 16th to go and take the sweater over. Ds is coming to visit with his family this afternoon and I'm going to suggest we light the candles on the Christmas tree one more time and then I will ask them to help me take it down.
I am reliably informed that the church celebrates the Epiphany today, so that is Christmas over. Easter is very early this year.
I hope your husband's first day in the new job goes well and that everything will settle down too. It must be extra hard for you not to have your sister's help and presence to share the load, but to have a voice of doom from afar.
Try to visualise God's loving arms around you and rest in His presence.

I am also praying for MamaTeeTee on the bereavement thread. Her husband's body has not yet been found after he (most likely) drove his van into the sea. The van has been found but not the dh.

Also praying for BES, the situation is truly impossible. Hopefully you found a service that was a blessing to you.

[Dontbesilly]

Thank you Oma. I just read briefly through that thread you mentioned and the poor woman and her dc. It's just absolutely unimaginable and she is so young. Really praying for them all.

The flight sounds like a great idea. Something exciting to look forward to and not too far away from now. I hope that you get your candles lit again and everything packed safety away until later on in the year trying to convince myself that Xmas is not too far away lol. Can you tell I have slightly disappointed dc?

Just preparing to set out for today's hospital visit and to pick up my dm from the hospital as she stayed over last night.

I will be back soon as I have missed you all x

[Tuo]

Don't - I'm so sorry that you've had such a hard time of it. I've been thinking of you and your dad.

Please don't beat yourself up about Christmas. It may not have been the perfect jolly festive season, but it seems to me that you have given your children (who, IIRC, are old enough to understand... it might be different if they were toddlers who couldn't be expected to 'get it') and your DH (who should definitely understand, and should not, IMHO, be making you feel guilty about his having had the worst Christmas ever...) the best possible understanding of what Christmas is about: that is, that Jesus's coming is not about presents and jollity (though it is something to celebrate) but about his sharing of our weakness and our suffering, his making himself vulnerable like us. And if, when we care for those who need us most (feed the hungry, tend to the sick, etc.) we are also caring for Jesus himself, then your Christmas was truly meaningful as you put others' needs first in order to care for those who needed you at that time. Giving is not only about giving 'stuff' but about giving oneself, and you have done that in spades this year. It may not have been the kind of giving you'd have chosen, but, in the circumstances, you gave what you could (I am unconsciously echoing the last verse of 'In the bleak midwinter' here, aren't I?) and you gave something much more important than presents or a nice meal. As for the hoovering and dusting, well [hides state of floors and surfaces from thread] there are far more important things.

I am praying for you, for your family, and for your dad. Also thinking of your DH as he starts his new job tomorrow. A few first-day nerves are inevitable, but I pray he will be happy (and safe) there and will love it once he gets started.

PA - Oh dear, your poor dad - I know it's a nightmare for you to deal with, but it does sound as if he really just doesn't 'get it'. I hope the staff at your mum's care home will be able to deal with him, there is really nothing more you can do, and I'm willing to bet they've seen it all before. Praying for you as you try to deal with all this. Also praying for your DD1. How is she doing? I'm sure her uni will be understanding, they too, sadly, will have seen it all before.

BES - praying for a quieter day today.

Lovely Oma - hoping you have a lovely day with DS today, and glad you have your trip to look forward to.

Keeping MHD in prayer and hoping her lungs are coping.

Praying for all DC going back to school/college tomorrow.

A prayer for Epiphany:

Father,
you revealed your Son to the nations
by the guidance of a star.
Lead us to your glory in heaven
by the light of faith.
We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,
one God for ever and ever. Amen