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Reasons for not taking communion?

(119 Posts)
GoldenWondering Mon 02-Nov-15 16:03:45

This is all a bit vague but please bear with me. If somebody is a regular churchgoer and has been all their life, what might their reasons for not taking communion be? This person has taken communion in the distant past but I don't know about recent years.

Basically I am wondering if the person has lost their faith but want some suggestions of any other possible reasons for the person not to take communion after doing so in the past. Not a Catholic church.

Sorry this is a bit abstract for privacy.

Cheesybaps Mon 02-Nov-15 16:13:00

I was told by my priest a few years ago that I wasn't allowed to take communion as I'm an unmarried mother.

Rapists and murders in prison are fine (obvs), but not unmarried mothers.

Final nail in the coffin for me regarding organised religion, am now atheist.

Bunbaker Mon 02-Nov-15 16:17:05

Have they been confirmed?

GoldenWondering Mon 02-Nov-15 16:18:57

Snap, Cheesybaps. Was that in a Catholic church?

GoldenWondering Mon 02-Nov-15 16:19:19

Yes, they were confirmed as a teenager.

expatinscotland Mon 02-Nov-15 16:21:23

Divorce. In an adulterous affair. Marriage not recognised by the church. Big sin. Lots of reasons.

Themodernuriahheep Mon 02-Nov-15 16:23:17

Cheesy, that's horrendous.

Golden, depends what flavour Xtianity. Pope recently encouraged communion of divorced people, whereas some RC bishops opposed ( though many Pps would say fine as long as celibate, , because divorce is the legal side not the spiritual side, so divorced ok, but not if in another relationship, because technically you are still married in the eyes if the church. )

If Anglican who knows?

Doubts most likely, fear of germs - eg immune system breakdown, fear if spreading germs, eg from AIDS or flu, in adulterous relationship, hating someone,

think if the prohibitions to those coming to communion, you who are in charity with your neighbour...

GoldenWondering Mon 02-Nov-15 16:25:28

Just PMing you expat.

Cheesybaps Mon 02-Nov-15 16:33:16

Yes, it was a Catholic church for me Golden.

Boredofthinkingofnewnames Mon 02-Nov-15 16:54:51

Eating before church?! I have no idea if it's still a rule but I was brought up RC and you couldn't eat for an hour before mass.

Divorce or affair would be the most obvious one though.

GoldenWondering Mon 02-Nov-15 17:54:24

I think a lot of these may not apply as it isn't Catholic. There isn't anything that stands out as being an obvious reason. Thank you for all the suggestions. If there is anything else please add it!

Clobbered Mon 02-Nov-15 17:57:02

Numerous possibilities - hygiene, allergic to wine or wafers, guilt over something in their life.

Why are you asking an internet forum? If you are concerned about the person, why not have a conversation with them?

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer Mon 02-Nov-15 17:59:54

If this is CofE the answer should be nothing external would stop them. It is between them and God.

GoldenWondering Mon 02-Nov-15 18:07:08

I'm not at all concerned about the person. The person is in rude health and is totally sorted in every aspect of their life. I am just looking for possible explanations before I jump to conclusions.

Can't really say any more without going into detail. Sorry, I did say at the beginning of the thread I would be very vague, although I know it is frustrating for readers.

Fink Mon 02-Nov-15 20:41:10

Not keen on encouraging gossip, but assuming you have a good reason for this.

If definitely not health e.g. gluten intolerance and none of the rest of the above, then my best offer would be someone considering conversion (to Catholic, Orthodox, or something else which has closed communion).

Or, if high church Anglican, then I've known people who will only receive the sacrament from certain priests (usually people who will only receive when a man has consecrated).

PurpleDaisies Mon 02-Nov-15 20:55:00

If you're not concerned about the person why are you paying attention to whether they're taking communion or not?

Last time communion happened at our church three boys who I know have really severe nut allergies took communion wine from separate little plastic cups instead of the main chalice. A group of women sitting behind me were bitchily commenting that they thought they must think they are better than everyone else or they'd take communion properly. Is it really your place to be speculating about this person's motives in not taking communion?

DioneTheDiabolist Mon 02-Nov-15 21:02:14

OP, there could be any number of reasons that someone will not take communion: allergy, doctorine or personal spiritual reasons. The only way you can know why is to ask the person.

GoldenWondering Mon 02-Nov-15 21:04:54

It is hard to explain without going into too much detail. I have leapt to one conclusion which seemed the most obvious to me and I am trying to think if there might be any other possible reasons.

I am not wondering for gossipy reasons. I am not one of the women sitting there bitching about other people. I am one of the people on the receiving end of this sort of bitching, so it definitely isn't that.

TheTigerIsOut Mon 02-Nov-15 21:07:07

I really think your attitude is absolutely horrid. What business of yours is it?

if it helps I can tell you why I haven't for years despite going to mass often: i have not killed anyone, live in sin or am doing anything monstrous, it is just that I can't forgive my exh for ditching DS and disapearing from his life,

I truly believe that you really need to repent/forgive to be ready to take communion and while I can't forgive him with my heart, I shouldn't queue for communion. It will be against the rules.

Having said that, I have seen some people doing some horribly bitchy stuff (like being judgemental of other people not having communion) and stilll piously take communion as if nothing was wrong with them.

LynetteScavo Mon 02-Nov-15 21:13:41

I'm apologise in advance if you are genuinely concerned for this person, but I really don't think you should be wondering why someone else is or isn't taking communion.
It's really no one else's business if someone does or doesn't take communion.

GoldenWondering Mon 02-Nov-15 21:17:01

Tiger, I'm not sure how you know what my "attitude" is.

I am certainly not judgemental of other people not taking communion. It would be extremely hypocritical of me to be so.

I have been able to PM a couple of people who have replied to this thread and spell out the precise circumstances and my reasons for asking. However they were people who I have seen on these boards for many years but I don't feel comfortable PMing somebody who I am not familiar with. Otherwise I would be happy to explain it all to you.

GoldenWondering Mon 02-Nov-15 21:21:49

No, it's not my business. I know that. I started this thread to find out if there was anything I had not considered. I am making a decision based on this and having input from others is very helpful.

middlings Mon 02-Nov-15 21:22:50

We no longer practice as Catholics but have moved over to CoE. There are lots of reasons why but one is that I didn't particularly feel the need to go confession to atone for conceiving my first child through IVF. Apparently, that means I'm not in a state of grace and can't receive communion!

BackforGood Mon 02-Nov-15 21:29:52

CheeseyBaps - you are wrong to lump all 'organised religion' into one. Obviously, if you are atheist, then that's your decision which I respect, but please don't think all Churches have that attitude. They don't.

TheTigerIsOut Mon 02-Nov-15 21:30:35

I still don't understand what you are trying to get at. Whatever her reasons, that is between her and God. You need to respect her privacy.

If she has not told you about it, it is because she thinks you don't need to know, and I cannot expect any stranger in this thread, regardless of how many years they have been in Mumsnet, is going to be able to tell you why she is not taking communion.

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