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(4 Posts)
sweetsoulsister Tue 15-Oct-13 17:43:55

Many years ago I was offered a job, I took it, then completely messed up. My boss worked in another city so basically I was on my own. It was my first 'real' job after University and the real reason for taking it was to please my parents.

I was extremely uncomfortable, both during my induction day with my boss, and afterwards in my office. I ended up spending my days, alone in an office, watching the minutes crawl by, unsure of what I should be doing.

I lacked confidence, had no self-esteem, and rather than explain any issues to my boss, I retreated further and further into myself and eventually just stopped showing up at work.

I eventually worked up the courage a few weeks later to call my boss and tell him that I was no longer going into work. He said he knew that I hadn't been there, I can't remember what else he said, but basically was very kind to me considering what I had done.

This was 15 years ago and it still haunts me to this day. I can't believe I acted the way I did. I really want to contact my old boss to apologise but I'm not sure what to say or how to say it.

Any advice?

ErrolTheDragon Tue 15-Oct-13 17:55:56

To be honest, reading that, while if this is on your conscience then it might be a good idea to write a letter, I think you're blaming yourself far too much. Putting someone straightfrom uni into a remote office with no real guidance was unfair on you. I work remotely, but that's after quite a few years in the job and with regular contact with my boss and a wider team, and usually reasonably defined goals/tasks - the situation you describes sounds like recipe for disaster.

Cuddledup Tue 15-Oct-13 20:17:16

Your manager should be writing a letter of apology to you for putting you in an impossible situation. Well done for "fessing up to your boss.
You did nothing wrong. Perhaps write a letter to yourself explaining why you did what you did, and then burn it. ALternatively I suppose you could talk to a counsellor....
I'll be interested to see what suggestions people have.
PS: I wonder if a bloke put in the same situation as you would still be beating himself up 15 years later. Probably not is my answer!

sweetsoulsister Tue 15-Oct-13 20:45:37

Thanks for the lovely messages Errol and Cuddledup, I was expecting to get a bit of a flaming on here!

I've actually just sent an email, I felt right whilst writing but felt reluctant to send - it didn't feel right but I did it anyway. I feel as though I might have opened a can of worms...

I do appreciate your comments though, I will post on here if/when I get a reply.

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