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I have lost God

(105 Posts)
whatshapeisthisnow Mon 14-Oct-13 18:02:44

Everything has just gone. Almost overnight. I can no longer believe. Nothing happened to make this happen it just sort of occurred to me that it's all made up confused

I am feeling sad that this has happened. I miss going to church. I feel hollow and empty. It is quite a depressing state to be in.

I am not sure of the way forward now. I want to believe but I don't see any way back.

sweetkitty Mon 14-Oct-13 18:06:47

Happened to me age 16. Before that I believed said my prayers etc then I started learning about Biology and Evolution and just about the world really.

I've never believed since it's taken me a good many years to come to terms with my atheism, I wanted to believe in a higher being but the rational side of my brain could not. I go to church with my DP now and think "you all believe all this don't you? You all actually believe you are eating the body of Christ?"

Anyway I have no words of advice just that I have accepted and am at peace with being an atheist, I'm still a good person.

expatinscotland Mon 14-Oct-13 18:08:16

You can't lose what never existed in the first place. The scales fell from your eyes and you are able to see reality now. Try it! Enjoy your life as you see fit.

Snargaluff Mon 14-Oct-13 18:12:54

This has happened to me too. I went to churvh yesterday and the service was so lively and I love singing and I could have got swept away with it... Only I couldn't as I don't believe it a jot anymore

I used to never understand how 'born again Christians' could become atheists, but now I see

BunnyLebowski Mon 14-Oct-13 18:14:32

I know it may not be welcome but I genuinely want to congratulate you on your realisation.

Life without a God is far from hollow and empty. It is the opposite in fact. You are free to appreciate the world without the blinkers of organised religion.

You can see just how tiny and insignificant this planet we live on is. And yet how incredible and amazing every aspect of life is. That people do good things on a daily, hourly, minute basis NOT because they want to go to an imaginary heaven but because people are inherently good.

Here's a man and a video that can give some perspective

superbagpuss Mon 14-Oct-13 18:16:03

do you want to find Him again?
an alpha course is a good place to start, should be one near you

amicissimma Mon 14-Oct-13 18:17:52

He hasn't lost you.

Remember the 'Footprints in the Sand' thing? When He's carrying you you can't find Him beside you.

I had a long period when I felt l couldn't believe. Looking back, it was a time when my faith changed from 'something I always had and took for granted' to 'something I decided to seek out and follow for myself'. It's much firmer and deeper now.

My advice would be to tell God how you feel. Don't be polite. He's a big God, He can take it.

LadyBigtoes Mon 14-Oct-13 18:21:37

I can't identify with your experience, as a lifelong atheist, but I hope speaking from this side of things, I can reassure you. Having no god/religious belief doesn't have to be lonely or non-spiritual.

In fact I think it is far more amazing, gratifying and mindblowing to look at the universe as a wonder of science - that is far more beautiful to me than to think that someone all-powerful (so who could just do anything they liked anyway) just made it.

And it is far more valuable to me that so many people are simply good and kind because it's in their hearts, rather than because of some teachings about what you have to do to get to heaven.

You can still go to church if you like, if you enjoy the company, singing, the beauty of the building, the rituals or whatever. I very much think that quite a few people who go to church don't actually believe (and possibly some who are in senior positions in the church - after all once it's someone's career, it may not be that easy to walk away even after a situation like yours, which statistically must happen to some of them).

If there is a "way forward", I think it is to seek goodness, beauty, enlightenment and all that is rewarding, for its own sake and for the sake of human happiness, while we are here.

buffyp Mon 14-Oct-13 18:45:45

In your opinion. I lost my son from a brain tumour 3 weeks ago and my faith has greatly helped me including the parish priest. I believe everyone has the right to believe or not without being made to feel stupid.

whatshapeisthisnow Mon 14-Oct-13 19:50:57

thanks for you buffyp I am sorry to hear you have lost your son.

expatinscotland Mon 14-Oct-13 19:57:18

Sorry for your loss, Buffy. My daughter died traumatically from failed stem cell transplant for treatment of leukaemia last year when se was 9, but I am an atheist.

dobedobedo Mon 14-Oct-13 20:08:51

OP, I had a very sudden realisation that god and religion was all fake, a few years ago. Up until this, I'd been Christian, born again and everything.
I got depressed so much that I went on medication for it. Didn't see the point in anything, almost craved the "not existing" that dying now meant.
Thankfully I worked through it, got over it (thanks prozac!) and now I couldn't be happier. I was so blinkered and ignorant and almost conned before!

It might be really tough to first come to that realisation, but you'll be fine. thanks

DioneTheDiabolist Mon 14-Oct-13 20:54:31

OP, you are not hollow and empty.sad You are the same person you were before you stopped believing.

What exactly have you stopped believing in? Is it god or religion?

ErrolTheDragon Mon 14-Oct-13 21:02:04

I still miss church too sometimes, though it must be about 30 years now since I had my 'leap of unfaith'. But everything just made so much more sense once I'd stopped believing in God.

It felt rather like falling out of love with someone wonderful (and then later realising that they weren't so great anyway).

Minnieisthedevilmouse Mon 14-Oct-13 21:16:25

Hmmm. Could you just have lost faith in the manner you believed not in the concept of a god?

I find it very easy to believe in something greater that is generally good and pray to it regularly. Oddly it's because of science and nature and things that I'm pretty convinced He exists. I'm cofe and attend church but apart from loving churches as buildings I've never really felt affinity to that style of belief.

What exactly don't you believe? A church service never floats my boat really but staring out to the ocean proves it. Dunno if makes any sense.....?

whatshapeisthisnow Mon 14-Oct-13 22:06:48

I no longer believe in God or Jesus. I believe that Man created the concept of God to explain Man's experience on earth. I believe that Jesus was either made up or was a revolutionary preacher. Christianity emerged due to Emperor Constantine who promoted it for political reasons.

Man created God and the religions that promote God.

I don't want to believe any of this but I know in my heart that it's true.

NonnoMum Mon 14-Oct-13 22:18:45

Something very similar happened to me this summer. I got very depressed, but also have found a new rationalism.

I tried to stop being part of an organised religion but strangely my (v v atheist) DH encouraged me...

All the v positive aspects of my religion are still there (the dignity of each individual/doing unto others/reflecting and reassessing every thing once a week in a formal service) are still very important to me. I did get a bit cross with myself thinking that if i wasn't religious I could have been ruthless and rich by now!

All the community things are still there too - all the supporting others through joyous moments and sadness in their lives/ all the endless but brilliant sponsored walks/marathons etc. Of course, all these things can be found in the secular world.

Also, I like being in the minority - whilst all the clever rational people happily know that there is nothing, my little bit of hope that all this is not in vain and that we try and reach out to others to make the world a better place, all that is just about there... Would I be burnt at the stake for my (old) religion? No. Do i admire those who have? Absolutely. Will I try and be a little bit better tomorrow than I was today? Well, I'll give it a go.

Oh, and I love a good hymn. And i love the fact that there is strength in weakness...

IHaveA Mon 14-Oct-13 22:42:08

I am a lifelong athiest and whilst I have always thought it must be nice to believe in God its impossible to make yourself believe.

I have a strong set of personal morals. Any suggestion that morals come with religion are a bit confused

DioneTheDiabolist Mon 14-Oct-13 22:51:48

What do you feel you have lost due to your realization Whatshape?

whatshapeisthisnow Mon 14-Oct-13 23:11:53

I have lost my relationship with Jesus sad I have tried to tell myself to just keep going through the motions but I can't take communion as it would just feel so wrong.

I keep telling myself it's just a phase and all I have to do is pray and everything will fall into place but I just feel that it won't ever be the same again. Something inside me has made a permanent shift.

This all took place after Lent. I had a good Lent and prayed and stuck to my Lenten promises but I felt absolutely nothing at all when Easter came and it all went downhill from there. I have felt hollow and empty ever since.

youretoastmildred Mon 14-Oct-13 23:17:32

I have heard that "may you lose your faith" is a Jewish curse.

I would say that things change and you may find that your faith changes. Or you may come to terms with a different way of looking at things - there is not necessarily no meaning when there is no god

Meditation without god is possible. This gives you benefits of prayer

but it can also perhaps in the end give you a different way to know god

youretoastmildred Mon 14-Oct-13 23:18:43

When this happened to me I was very young and felt too guilty to talk to anyone. don't be like this, find someone to talk to

whatshapeisthisnow Mon 14-Oct-13 23:36:40

I am grateful for everyone's replies smile

blossombath Mon 14-Oct-13 23:42:00

I agree it might help to talk with someone irl, I found talking to Christians outside of my own church amd family helpful when i was struggling with my faith as felt able to be more honest.

Or of course keep talking here, you have many view points to help you find a new meaning or comfort whether religious or not.

If you want to talk more privately do pm me. I'm a Christian so obviously would give that perspective but won't judge, just feel sad to see those frowny faces and would like to offer help if I can.

GhettoFabulouz Tue 15-Oct-13 00:09:42

Recently I had a friend who declared he no longer believes in God, which I'm finding hard to understand as we grew up in church together from very young, he was vey active in church and even introduced his wife to the faith. I just want to understand from those that use to believe did something happen why you feel that way? How now do you make sense of the world? How do you deal with life's ups and downs? Can you honestly say that you are fulfilled and hopeful of the future?

OP you say you lost your relationship. Can you think of a time when you had a relationship and what was different from then and now? Have you ever considered trying other churches? Sometimes churches with rituals etc can just be that. A church with a different worship experience might help you find Him again.

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