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How do non church-goers get their children Christened?

(42 Posts)
StarlightMcKenzie Sun 29-Sep-13 00:10:23

Just that really. Moved to a new area (again) and I we are planning on settling here now. Woukd like to get our baby christened as he's already walking and chosen God Parents are about to give up on us.

Never were big church goers but tend to spend a couple of years dipping in and out of various ones before we get a regular (didn't mean it to sound so similar to going to the pub. Sorry).

But I don't want to wait that long and I'm beginning to feel Gods impatience.

birdybear Sun 29-Sep-13 19:25:44

QuintessentialShadows, i didn't make any sweeping generalisations about parents' reasoning behind a Christening. In fact i didn't comment or mention any reasons at all! I just said what a christening and a dedication is. I can if you want to, but its fairly obvious i think.

I agree people have different ways of doing things and that is their choice, however i stand by what i say that the majority of people having their children christened are not christians (although they may say they are)and do not have any intention of bringing up the child in a christian family.

The point i was making is that the child is not choosing their faith. With a dedication you are not choosing that child's faith either. As you mention adult baptism, i think there are very few adults who choose to be baptised as adults and don't then follow their faith going forward.

So, Jesus doesn't care about christenings (or dedications either!) they are both just ceremonies but my point for the OP was children matter to God and he doesn't get impatient with them, which is what the OP said.

Oh good a discussion on canon law! When I was at theological college it was made very clear to those training as clergy that we could not refuse to baptise a baby or child whose parents requested it if they lived in the parish and had their Godparents ready and willing. It is certainly the case that some clergy (including the bishop whose campaigning organisation Baptism Integrity was quoted on page 1) would prefer to only baptise children of regular church attenders or go the whole hog and keep baptism for adults with dedications for babies but this rather excellent site points out that this goes against canon law.


StarlightMcKenzie Sun 29-Sep-13 20:02:32

Blimey, I'd a vicar insists we attend for 6 months you can be sure when 6 months has passed I will feel I have paid my dues and never set foot in there again.

StarlightMcKenzie Sun 29-Sep-13 20:08:31

I said God is getting impatient with me. The God parents certainly are which I am taking as HIs word. No-one is getting impatient with my children except me at times. I don't believe He woukd treat them any diffetently should they need to enter His Kingdom un-christened . His beef would be with me, not them, as it is about my attendance at church or otherwise.

QuintessentialShadows Sun 29-Sep-13 20:12:44

thegreenheartofmanyroundabouts Really?

So, you would baptize my friends child?
He is a divorced Catholic.
His new partner (also Catholic in name at least) is married still - they are working on an amicable divorce.

If this young couple came to your CofE Church to baptize their child, you would welcome them?

QuintessentialShadows Sun 29-Sep-13 20:13:06

If they were in your parish, hypothetically speaking

birdybear Sun 29-Sep-13 20:15:34

What is about your attendance at church op ? I really don't understand why you want them christened but Will never set foot in the church again after? Why not? What makes you think God is getting impatient with you? I am very confused as to what you believe.

God couldn't give a monkeys whether someone is christened, dedicated, baptised or what. What God wants is a relationship with you, where you accept his love and have a relationship with him. Traditions are not important.

QuintessentialShadows Sun 29-Sep-13 20:18:40

My mother had a right panic about my children, she firmly believed God would not know them, and not love them until they had been baptized. And if they were to die before baptizm, they would be condemned in the same way as a non-believer. confused hmm

Most people of the same school of Lutheran (Læstadian) faith as her believed similar which is why they had a habit of popping into the hospital chapel for the Christening on the way out! No ceremony and no celebration, just a quickie for the road!

QuintessentialShadows if your friends came to my church of course I would welcome them. If they wanted their child baptised into the Church of England then yes that could happen but changing denominations is a big thing to do so there would be more to talk about in baptism preparation.

QuintessentialShadows Sun 29-Sep-13 20:27:53

I think they are both disillusioned by the Catholic church, but Christian if you see what I mean.

StarlightMcKenzie Sun 29-Sep-13 20:40:41

I will set foot in a church again. I hope one day to find the right one, get over some of the aspects of going to church that panic me and make my peace with God enough to mean what I say in the liturgy.

I would however, go under sufferance for a vicar who insisted I attended and feel I'd 'done time' as payment for their services and feel relieved of my obligations thereafter.

StarlightMcKenzie Sun 29-Sep-13 20:44:07

Because I feel a duty to my 3rd child to not be the only member of my family not Christened and risk him believe that neither he nor being a Christian is important.

nooka Sun 29-Sep-13 20:47:45

Starlight getting christened is about being welcomed into the church community, so it's not really that odd for a church to feel that the families of those getting christened to make some sort of commitment before the ceremony. I would suspect that these 'rules' are n place simply to put off people who are purely getting their children christened in order to have the certificate for a preferred school, or for an excuse for a party.

I'm an atheist so neither of my children are christened (although my mother finds that sad and my sister and brother in law would perform the ceremony no doubt). It is an important ceremony with fairly serious vows and should not I think be taken as lightly as many parents seem to.

StarlightMcKenzie Sun 29-Sep-13 20:57:43

No it isn't. It is about being welcomed into the Christian Family.

StarlightMcKenzie Sun 29-Sep-13 21:02:25

Otherwise why would the vicar at a hospice 200 miles from where we live have offered to do it?

And how does it work for travellers and other people (like us) who have had to move so much.

mnistooaddictive Sun 29-Sep-13 21:03:04

Christening isn't biblical it was introduced when childhood mortality was high and I believe it was based in a misunderstanding of the bible. The bible talks about baptism of adults.

QuintessentialShadows Sun 29-Sep-13 21:13:24

Was it not introduced as an alternative to circumcision?

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