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Gender-Variant 5yr Old DS - Roman Catholic School

(30 Posts)
HerNibs1980 Sat 20-Jul-13 15:07:29


For the past year now I have noticed my middle DS prefers dressing up in his younger DD dresses, playing with her dolls, does not enjoy rough and tumble games with his older DS, and generally acts like I have another DD.

I mentioned it to friends who scoffed at me before spending time with him, where they have now said they've never witnessed it so clearly in one so young. Out of interest I googled it and found a leaflet about Gender variance, which described my DS perfectly. It said he may grow out of it or it may stay with him for life. Which doesnt bother me in the slightest as I am so open minded and love him to death for being him regardless of his gender behaviour.

My only concern is my children attend a Roman Catholic school, (we are not religious at all, but it was the only school in the area that had spaces in the years I needed when we moved to the area. The school is lovely, but I am worried that they will have an issue with him if his gender variant behaviour continues. Does anyone else have any experience with this or know any more about it please?

Thank you in advance. xx

marissab Thu 01-Aug-13 18:27:28

Hi from the pagan who went to catholic school (waves). I became pagan because of a friend i met at school whos parents and herself were pagan. We had all types of people at our school. And some teachers had waaay more unusual behaviour! Plus nowadays my cousin tells me that catholic schools have to be much more in line with other schools with regards to sexual education (we never were taught it sad). I think they aren't allowed to push the catholic stance on things as much nowadays and are much more open. I think he would be absolutly fine. I worked in a non catholic primary by the way and tgere was a boy there who was very feminine and used to whisper to me (so the other kids wouldn't hear) how well he'd done in ballet. Some boys are very feminine. It's all good. As to some hostile comments above, well, what can i say?

sweetkitty Thu 01-Aug-13 18:40:11

I have the opposite a 7 year old girl who think she's a boy. She will return to school dressed head to toe as a boy (including undies). If the school told her she had to wear a skirt I would fight it.

I think it easier for Tom boys than feminine boys I don't know why? Tom boys are seen as cool and cute. I did worry about DD2 getting bullied but everyone in school has just accepted her, it's a small school so all the teachers know her. It's a RC school as well. She has her First Holy Communion next year don't know what she'll be wearing.

LynetteScavo Thu 01-Aug-13 18:58:55

sweetkitty, my DD was adamant she was wearing a shirt and tie to her FHC, but somehow was brainwashed came round to the idea of wearing a dress. (Although it came off the moment we got home grin)

Her school has wholehartedly embraced her Tomboy ways (much more than I'd like if I'm honest), but I understand society has a very different view of girls behving like boys, and boys behaving typical girls.

OP, as someone who's DC go to Catholic schools, I genuinely don't think the school will have any more issue with this, than any other school.

Do you think your DS will want to wear skirts/dresses to school?

I think the wording of your OP may have upset some saying you are open minded maybe suggests you think Catholics may be closed minded....I think lots of Catholics are used to "Catholic bashing" and can get a bit defensive. Also, lots of children do go though phases like this, but without knowing your DS, we can't really comment whether it's usual (or "normal") behavior or not.

I'm pretty sure the school will teach the children they are all created in the image of God, and everyone is equal, blah, blah.

DioneTheDiabolist Thu 01-Aug-13 19:40:16

OP, you say His school seems supportive, but I haven't pointed this out to them yet.

What is it that you wish to point out to them?

sweetkitty Thu 01-Aug-13 22:14:24

Lynette - I remember you from the First Communion threads, this year was DD1s she loved the attention and of course the dress. DD2 wants to wear a kilt like the boys, we had made a deal that she get a dress but of her choosing and can take it off as soon as she's out the church as she doesn't want anyone to see her in it. She's not having a party or any fuss either.

I read up a bit into this and girls behaving as boys is just not seen as a problem, the majority of Tom boys don't turn into lesbians and they tend to be strong minded and confident girls. Boys wanting to be girls, however, have a much harder time, I read that 70% will come out eventually but they don't have as much self confidence as their female counterparts. I think that society has a lot to do with this. I often see boys having prams and hovers taken off them as they are girls toys. Fathers want macho sons. hmm

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