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Feeling a 'need'

(7 Posts)
AuntieBrenda Sat 11-May-13 08:52:22

Hi all
For some time now I feel what seems like a 'need' to be with the church. It's as if I want to be peaceful and calm and the people I know who are Christians seem really happy and feel this way. I can't explain it. I went to a Christian baby group when DS was wee and I left because they got quite pushy and a bit full on, I feel faith / belief is quite a personal, quiet thing and that's what I'd like to experience. I don't know why I'm writing this, I think I just want to see what others think.

PedroYoniLikesCrisps Sat 11-May-13 09:31:45

Yes, religion is a very personal thing. There's also no need to join an organisation if all you want is to be peaceful and calm. Perhaps finding a nice park somewhere to sit and enjoy nature could be another option (or finding some hobby which you enjoy, perhaps).

I'm also fascinated that you consider Christians to be calm and peaceful but your experience of the group was that they were pushy and full on..... Is that not a bit contradictory?

niminypiminy Sat 11-May-13 09:47:28

Auntie Brenda: why not try going to church and see how it feels? Try looking at the A Church Near You site and then following up with church web sites. Churches (and Christians!) are very different, and some are quieter than others. I'd recommend an evensong/evening service as they often have more space for silence and reflection than the main Sunday morning worship. If you see anything like Taize or contemplative or informal services those also might be what you are looking for.

Good luck! And if you are feeling an internal prompting to go to church, listening to it and seeing where it goes won't turn you into a swivel-eyed fundamentalist. It's really fine to try things out and explore.

cloutiedumpling Sat 11-May-13 09:50:33

OP I can identify with some of what you are saying. Like you I wanted to avoid pushy people, particularly in small groups, after a bad experience. To avoid this I used to go along to a few local churches (not the one where I'd had the bad experience) on a Sunday morning and would arrive about one minute before the service started, sit in the seat nearest the door and be one of the first people out of the door after the service finished. After a while I noticed that there were quite a few other people doing the same thing!

AuntieBrenda Sat 11-May-13 10:40:45

Thanks to all
Yes pedro, I see what you mean - let me explain myself. They were absolutely lovely, genuinely nice people but there was pressure to become completely involved in their church that made me (as a brand new mum and a bit vulnerable) uncomfortable with the pace they were moving. All conversation was about joining in. Maybe it was me taking it the wrong way?

stressedHEmum Sat 11-May-13 10:52:40

I think faith is a very personal thing and it can bring the kind of inner peace that is difficult to come by.

OP, listening to the "still, small voice of calm" won't do any harm. Perhaps, go along to your local church and just see what happens. Sit near the back, if you feel more comfortable. Most church folk won't pounce on you and try to convert you, they'll just be glad to see you.

I think it might depend on what kind of church/service you go to. There is one church in my area that is completely focused on recruiting folk and they are quite pushy. They are always looking to get you more involved and demand a high level of commitment from their members. The rest of us are much more laid back about it. We might say something like "hope to see you again", but that's about it.

Italiangreyhound Wed 15-May-13 02:01:49

AuntieBrenda hope you find somewhere right for you. There are pushy people in all walks of life and people who want to get others involved too. Some people may need that reassurance that they are wanted and needed. If you feel anyone is ever pushy you could just say that you have felt pushed in the past and it is turn off! A clear warning to others not to be pushy!

The sort of peace you describe does (I belivve) come from God and you can find God sitting in a park or in your home, but I also know in a park or in my home I am likely to a)get distracted b) fall asleep c) end up doing the ironing!

You may find a church you go to can recommend services that are more reflective and will help you cultivate that peace you want to find.

I would also suggest a day retreat sometime, which is just a day (or a weekend away if you can afford the time). But I think all that could be in the future, so without being pushy at all I would say just find somewhere where you feel at home and do not volunteer or committe to anything you do not want to join in with.

Hope you find what you are looking for.

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