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Does God withhold blessings from Christians who are living in disobedience?

(480 Posts)
Jewcy Fri 03-May-13 18:00:12

I am a Christian but my husband is not. I am desperate to be a better person in God's eyes but can not escape the instruction in 2 Corinth ch 6 re being unequally yoked to non-believers. I am nearly 42 and desperately trying to start a family (I mc'd last year). We are due to fly to the Czech Republic in June for donor egg IVF but I can't help worrying that God will not bless me with a child whilst I continue to willfully live a disobedient life. I entered into a relationship with my husband knowing that it is not God's will for me to be with a non-Christian. Am I to be forever outside of God's will? My prayer life has become almost non-existent as I don't feel I can appeal to the Lord for his blessings re a baby and yet it is all I can think about.

I guess the real problem here is that my obsession with starting a family has superceded my devotion and surrender to God's will. Please help me sad

Jewcy Sat 04-May-13 21:33:54

Mareeya, a light bulb moment for me when I read your post. Thank you, thank you...

ouryve Sat 04-May-13 21:33:55

My DH doesn't issue commands that I have to obey, jewcy. Our relationship is far more equitable than that.

Jewcy Sat 04-May-13 21:39:14

How about your boss then, ouryve, or are you, in fact, omnipotent?

PedroYoniLikesCrisps Sat 04-May-13 21:39:35

Pedro, I really wouldn't worry for my husband, he is the happiest he has ever been - his words, not mine.

I'm not worried about him I'm said for you. Although he must have had it pretty hard in the past if you're off to a foreign country for IVF and this the happiest he's ever been.

Pedro, why do you say that I'm at 'the lowest period of my life'? You have absolutely no idea, do you? Believe me, I have been saved from that period and am eternally grateful to God for it.

Hubby not around then? Fair enough. What has god done for you though? I mean seriously?

and I would bet that you wouldn't raise an eyebrow if a poster declared that they loved their dog more than XXXX

Actually that's almost as weird. So I'd be raising a lot more than just my eyebrows.

PedroYoniLikesCrisps Sat 04-May-13 21:43:39

but it pains me to know I hurt Him; that I so wilfully ignore His precepts and commands sometimes.

Don't worry about that. As we've ascertained elsewhere on MN, god will forgive rape and murder arbitrarily so whatever you think you've done probably isn't going to bother him that much.

alemci Sat 04-May-13 21:49:10

You did what you had to do. Don't be too hard on yourself. God can still use you in your situation. Lost of believers marry non christians. Half the time the christian men are very thin on the ground and anyone decent was snapped up leaving a nerdy few.

i misyoked myself over 20 years' ago and watch as my own dd gets hung up on the whole scenario too of only dating christians etc and feeling very fed up with the whole thing.

Jewcy Sat 04-May-13 21:50:47

Pedro, seeing as you asked: my husband was an alcoholic for two decades until he recovered through rehab two years ago (before we met). His mother ran off and left her husband and kids when DH was six weeks old. He has just learned she has died and that his 'dad' may not be his real one. However, this doesn't concern him since his 'dad' (and all of his 'family') have rejected him since he was sentenced to prison five years ago. He has a son who has just been assessed as being on the autistic spectrum. He lives with his mother. DH is six months into the first job he has held down in ten years. It is exhausting and not well paid but he comes home to me and the meal I love cooking for him and his eyes literally blaze.

Our struggle to conceive (plus the miscarriage last year) has brought us even closer and we have much hope for the future, with or without a baby. I cannot deny I yearn like crazy for a child of my own, but I'm blessed to have found DH. He is so clever and worldy and erudite and hilarious - his mimicry has me weeping, I swear. I am feisty, shouty, short-fused, passionate, crazy and a complete pain in the arse to live with, I'm sure, but my husband feels like the luckiest man alive. I can't explain it, either.

Jewcy Sat 04-May-13 21:54:44

As we've ascertained elsewhere on MN, god will forgive rape and murder arbitrarily so whatever you think you've done probably isn't going to bother him that much.

Humans, too, forgive rapists and murderers. We are capable of the most paradoxical and insane and wondrous feats. What's your point?

Jewcy Sat 04-May-13 21:56:02

Alemci, I hear you on the male Christians who are available being thin on the ground! Especially at my age.

StuffezLaYoni Sat 04-May-13 21:57:57

Hang on. Jewcy, forgive me if I'm wrong, but was it not you who made horrible comments towards a size 20 poster recently, laughing at her "rolling in her own lard" and referring to her as an elephant?

Again, I do apologise if it wasn't you, but I get really angry by people who discuss at length the ins and outs of their own faith, but forget basic Christian attitudes toward others.

IsItMeOr Sat 04-May-13 21:58:44

OP - Another humanist here. I thought it was interesting that you read the Robert Ingersoll quote and responded that you thought happiness couldn't be found in yourself. Did you actually read the last bit about making other people happy?

You do seem a bit unaware that philosophy and spirituality extend beyond purely religious spheres. So atheists can have a philosophical viewpoint and a spiritual life. So you're not just going to get religious people on these threads, or indeed christians.

FWIW your description of your previous phase of life where you weren't so close with god, sounds like you weren't actually being true to yourself, as my experience is that people being true to themselves behave in a way that they believe to be right. But then I'm a born again atheist, so we are clearly on different trajectories.

Anyways, glad you're finding help from some of the other MNers with extensive bible knowledge and kind hearts.

daftdame Sat 04-May-13 22:03:02

With regard to OP's question - do not worry! Not looked up the actual scripture, but God does not want anyone to perish and also there is a bit about the husband sanctifying the wife and visa versa. Could find chapter and verse for you if you are struggling.

By the way OP, not read the whole of the thread so apologies if it has moved direction.

alemci Sat 04-May-13 22:03:54

always more women in churches I think and the men always get to cherry pick them then you end up with a load of lonely women who seem to think they are doomed to be single for the rest of their life - it's God's will when they don't really want to be single.

Jewcy Sat 04-May-13 22:06:31

Stuff, yes, I am guilty of having been unkind to the OP and I asked for my post to be removed - which it was. This is my point: I let God down so easily it is frightening to me. Why should I expect to be blessed if I cannot even 'love my neighbour'? God commands us to love and yet, left to my own devices, I am not loving. Not enough, anyway.

You do seem a bit unaware that philosophy and spirituality extend beyond purely religious spheres. So atheists can have a philosophical viewpoint and a spiritual life. So you're not just going to get religious people on these threads, or indeed christians.

I can see that now, Isitmeor. I keep thinking this is a Christian thread or whatever and it isn't.

I'm glad of the kind hearts, too. Much nicer than me sad

Jewcy Sat 04-May-13 22:09:24

Alemci, I feel sad when I see those young married Christian women in the fellowship who have indeed been 'snapped up' and their older counterparts looking so longingly at the children being popped out or is that just me? grin

dogsandcats Sat 04-May-13 22:10:07

alemci. Therre are Christian websites. Not sure how many Christian men on there.
Also, can I ask, though no need to answer, is yoyr dd a Christian. Or does she believe, but has not become a Christian yet?

dogsandcats Sat 04-May-13 22:10:48

That should say, Christian dating websites.

Jewcy Sat 04-May-13 22:11:56

Stuff, my comment was not directed to the OP but it was unkind in general, for which I apologised and had the post removed.

StuffezLaYoni Sat 04-May-13 22:17:40

Your comments (plural) were so hurtful and they were directed at the OP and designed to make her feel shit. ("I think we're all ignoring the elephant in the room here" winky face.)

I wish the best for you OP, and I'm not intending to post again, but maybe spend some more time considering other humans' feelings as well as God's.

Jewcy Sat 04-May-13 22:20:15

Quite right, Stuffez, I have self-flagellated many times since that post (in my head and heart).

Spero Sat 04-May-13 22:22:03

And the way to be happy is to make others so.

LippyDiDooDah Sat 04-May-13 22:22:35

I'm always reminded of Psalm 37 v4:

Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

I read some interesting notes on this verse (it was my baptism verse):

Delight thyself also in the - Lord. The word rendered "delight" means properly to live delicately and effeminately; then, to be tender or delicate; then, to live a life of ease or pleasure; then, to find delight or pleasure in anything. The meaning here is, that we should seek our happiness in God - in his being, his perfections, his friendship, his love.

And he shall give thee the desires of thine heart - literally, the "askings," or the "requests" of thy heart. What you really "desire" will be granted to you. That is,

(a) the fact that you seek your happiness in him will regulate your desires, so that you will be "disposed" to ask only those things which it will be proper for him to grant; and

(b) the fact that you do find your happiness in him will be a reason why he will grant your desires.

All the best in the C.R in June OP smile

daftdame Sat 04-May-13 22:25:20

Jewry - you have not let God down. Why do you think Jesus was crucified?
If we could be righteous in our own strength there would have been no need, we are redeemed through Him.

If we could have obeyed the law, we would have no need for redemption through Christ. Old Testament law includes a lot - and animal sacrifices were necessary for when (inevitably) people went wrong. Look at David, look at Abraham. Their paths did not run smoothly. God is forgiving. be patient with your husband...with regards to finding his way. Just love him.

Jewcy Sat 04-May-13 22:28:02

Lippy, your post resonates with what I know to be true. Would you say this is what is meant when Jesus says, 'ask for anything in my name and it shall be done'? Is 'the caveat' that we must first be desiring what God would have for us ie. righteousness, forgiveness etc?

Sorry, don't know it I'm entirely making sense.

Jewcy Sat 04-May-13 22:31:02

Daftdame, thank you for your beautiful post. Much appreciated. At bible study on Thursday night we were looking at 2 Kings and Solomon's building of the temple. I couldn't help remembering how he ended his days, allowing his wife to build idols to Baal (or whoever). So loved by God and such an obedient servant and yet...and yet...sad

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