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What does this very vivid (and long!) dream mean?

(29 Posts)
DuddlePuck Sat 19-Jan-13 08:30:09

Last night my DH had to wake me up as I was sobbing and thrashing about in my sleep. This very rarely happens, so I made a real effort to remember the dream. Here goes:

I am at work, I like it, it feels familiar and there are lots of friendly people that I know there. I start the dream feeling happy. As the dream progresses, I start to feel more and more down and like I am in no fit state to be there. I try to find somewhere to be alone to cry but one of the children finds me and I have to hide behind a muddy bank so she doesn't see that I am crying.

I realise I need to go somewhere more private, so head down some stairs to the toilets. There is no door on the stall I am in, and two other women come in. One woman (she is a black lady, with beautiful long hair. I have no idea if that is significant but include it as she was a stranger rather than someone familiar to me) is round the corner, gets in with what she is doing and I am not bothered that she is there. The other lady (white, slim with a pixie cut, also a stranger to me) chooses to stand opposite me and stares every time I try to open my legs to wipe (I wipe back to front, always have - I know I shouldn't! Sorry, TMI!). Eventually I give up, do what I've got to do and throw the used paper at her. She picks it up and keeps it.

I see a window at the back of my stall and think that if I climb out I will finally be alone. As I am half way out, a senior member of staff (male, also a stranger) comes to make me give him a blow job. He grabs hold of my feet between his fingers and thumbs and pinches tightly. I have very ticklish feet and so it feels unbearable. That is when I woke up.

Sorry it's so long, any dream experts have any ideas?

headinhands Sat 19-Jan-13 10:41:08

Maybe the lady watching you on the toilet is about shame? Maybe there is someone who you are generally close to but feel unable to share this with them because you're worried they might not be entirely understanding?

DuddlePuck Sat 19-Jan-13 10:21:48

Thank you all so much. I feel a lot more clued up about things and actually have something of a handle on my own feelings, even if I'm not in control in real life.

I feel insecure and need to explain to DH how I'm feeling and get myself some control in this so I don't feel like I am being forced into things. I need to accept ( sadly) that we will not be starting a family in the next year sad but when we do we will be in a much better position financially.

I am going to see if I can get an appt with the CAB, or maybe have a chat to the SW at work. At the very least I will spend a bit of time today looking at options online and join the MSE debt forum for support.

And in the meantime I am going to clean out said bunnies and make a snowman to clear my head a bit.

Thank you again, you have all been so supportive. Will keep you posted if I have any more insightful dreams.

MostlyLovingLurchers Sat 19-Jan-13 10:10:53

I really sympathise - i lost my job and we could only just manage with two incomes before. In the end i stayed at home with ds as it cost us less than me working and paying for childcare. Not saying that would work for you btw. I got all our reuseable nappies from ebay for around £50 (unused i hasten to add!), which saved bucket loads (not literally - there were many bucket loads!).

MostlyLovingLurchers Sat 19-Jan-13 10:05:07

Very good advice to not phone debt management phone lines. Many IFAs don't charge for consultations and may be another option, but only really any help if you have money to shift round as they make their money by getting commission on the products they sell you (rearranging your mortgage etc).

DuddlePuck Sat 19-Jan-13 10:03:06

mostly I have been researching all of the above like crazy. Even down to looking up how to make my own cloth nappies as it is so much cheaper!

I am totally prepared (and quite enthusiastic) for the prospect of having a 'budget baby' whenever it happens, the big thing for us will be supplementing my mat pay and then child care when I do go back. I fully appreciate DHs point that we can't afford to do that and pay off the debt, its one or the other really. So the debt has to go...

headinhands Sat 19-Jan-13 09:59:22

Yy, can see how the cellar would be putting something on hold for now, for just a little longer so that you are in a stronger position later on.

Def give the CAB a go. There's sure to be some good resources online too but beware of these debt management phone lines, my friend got a whopping phone bill for ringing them which seems ironic!

MostlyLovingLurchers Sat 19-Jan-13 09:57:02

Sorry - x post again. If the bunnies represent your desire to have a family it seems the fear is that the debt will prevent you from doing so, which is why you are in the cellar with them - you and your potential babies shut away with your fears.

If it helps on a practical level, we had a major financial crisis just after i got pregnant and are still struggling financially, but you do manage. I don't think my ds much cares that he isn't dressed in baby boden or never had a foreign holiday! You will get child benefit and you may get tax credits - worth finding out what you'd be entitled to in your circumstances.

DuddlePuck Sat 19-Jan-13 09:51:07

X - post, could be either?

headinhands Sat 19-Jan-13 09:50:49

I think there is something primitive about the need to hide from 'danger'. The fight or flight response. Obviously nowadays the 'danger' is usually something less dramatic than a tiger or volcano etc but it still evokes that deep seated need to conceal ourselves. I suspect the cellar is as such in your case and the vulnerable bunnies represent something you feel responsible for protecting. Something you feel you were not keeping an adequate eye on i.e. the finances maybe?

DuddlePuck Sat 19-Jan-13 09:50:31

Just looked up what a cellar represents - my hidden self. So perhaps on the outside my dreams appear dead, but I will keep them safe in my self, IYSWIM.

I had already kind of decided to stop going on about babies to DH until we are in a position to think seriously about it again.

MostlyLovingLurchers Sat 19-Jan-13 09:49:39

Well, the cellar is the basement of the mansion of the soul (!) so is where you keep your fears and dark thoughts. I would think the fact that you went there was down to the fact that is where your emotions were at the time.

DuddlePuck Sat 19-Jan-13 09:45:36

headin I do have bunnies, but have dreamed in the past about finding baby bunnies and adopting them, and know that this is very much linked to my desire to start a family.

So yes, could well be that I feel like my plans are dead, but really it will be ok.

MostlyLovingLurchers Sat 19-Jan-13 09:44:52

Yes - CAB are fantastic. They are very under-resourced though so you may have to be patient to get an appointment, especially in the current climate. They have trained debt counsellors who will be able to work out a plan of action for you and sometimes deal direct with your creditors on your behalf. Do give them a call.

DuddlePuck Sat 19-Jan-13 09:42:44

Ooh, mostly would the fact that I moved the bunnies into the cellar and stayed with them be significant then? It is a largely empty room that we use very little.

headinhands Sat 19-Jan-13 09:40:12

Do you have bunnies? Maybe the bunnies tie in with your plans for a family. You feel the situation right now is not best for starting your family but later on will be better.

DuddlePuck Sat 19-Jan-13 09:39:18

indigo I hadn't thought about the bj relating to force. I do feel a little like I didn't have a choice in this. I know that is very unreasonable as DH has been transparent when asked, and I have been just as responsible for the spending! But as he has the logins for the cc accounts I feel like I have no control. I'm going to ask that I have the logins for all our accounts so I feel a bit more in the loop.

mostly I have wondered about going to the CAB. We have tightened our belts and are able to pay it off, but it will be a very long slog. I thought if would be a few months, but realistically it's looking much longer. Would they be able to help?

MostlyLovingLurchers Sat 19-Jan-13 09:39:18

In dream analysis the house is often interpreted as you, each room representing a different aspect of you. The fact that your house is still standing while everything else is falling down would suggest that somewhere inside you know you are strong enough to cope with the situation.

headinhands Sat 19-Jan-13 09:37:56

Yes yes. The bunnies. You feel you will be able to work through this but it is unsettling.

headinhands Sat 19-Jan-13 09:36:38

It's interesting you dreamt about the collapsing buildings. I still occasionally dream about 9/11. I think the image of
buildings collapsing is a very powerful one and in a dream I think it points to issues of safety and security

MostlyLovingLurchers Sat 19-Jan-13 09:36:10

Sorry - x post with you.

I think the second dream is fairly obviously the world falling down around your ears. The rabbits though are a good sign that however bad you think things are (dead bunnies/debt) that things will resolve themselves in the end (bunnies not dead).

DuddlePuck Sat 19-Jan-13 09:33:03

Sorry, last post was in response to headin

I don't know about the women. I felt threatened by the one who was staring, maybe a close relative who has just had a baby? Not sure why the other woman was there as she wasn't bothering me. I do remember thinking she was very glam!

MostlyLovingLurchers Sat 19-Jan-13 09:32:56

The using the loo in public thing is a common image in an anxiety dream. Given what you have said about your financial situation it's not suprising that the worry manifested in this way. I think the wanting to be on your own is symbolic of your wanting to hide away from what's going on and make it all go away (subconciously - i'm sure you know that wouldn't help, but it is quite normal to feel like it). I think you know that the answer is to sit down and talk about it - with your dh, with a friend if it helps, but more importantly with a debt counsellor - try the CAB. Hope you get some resolution.

DuddlePuck Sat 19-Jan-13 09:30:31

Not really. He thought he'd told me, I though the amount on one credit card was the total amount. Turns out its over double that.

Had another dream later on in the night that there were buildings falling down around our house, just missing us (by a matter of feet). My rabbits in the garden were lying on the floor outside their hutch when I went to check on them. I thought they were dead but when I went to pick them up they were ok. I brought them in and they were fine.

Not exactly a relaxing night chez Duddle...

IndigoBarbie Sat 19-Jan-13 09:27:47

Oh honey, I'm sorry to hear this. I was thinking in energetic terms that this was a root chakra dream. Money, security financial and emotional amongst others. Re the bj-you are being forced into this. this could translate to the debt. No where to escape, and in some beliefs the bathroom/toilet relates to money going down the drain so to speak. If you were to look at the women in your dream, could their behaviour/appearance be equated to anyone in your life?

headinhands Sat 19-Jan-13 09:24:01

Ah, yes the debt explains the unreasonable demands the guy from work is making. Sounds like you have a lot going on in your mind right now. Was your dp hiding how much debt he had?

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