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Help please- catholic burial etiquette.

(9 Posts)
Casmama Sun 06-Jan-13 23:24:06

I wonder if any one can help. It is my MILs funeral tomorrow and my husband and some other family members will be carrying the coffin and lowering it into the ground. My husband is a lapsed catholic and thinks that as chief mourner he will be at the top end with the next closest relative at the bottom.
Does this sound right and is there any etiquette about the order of the other six?

Any advice much appreciated.

Casmama Sun 06-Jan-13 23:35:00


Tuo Mon 07-Jan-13 00:19:23

Hello Casmama. I can't help you, I'm afraid, but I didn't want your post to go unanswered. It's often very quiet in this area at this time of night, so you might want to try posting in 'Chat' instead or somewhere that gets more overnight traffic...

In any case, what I would say (from the couple of funerals I've been to recently) is that the undertakers will be the best people to advise on all matters of etiquette in these matters, so probably the best thing will be for your DH to just take his cue from them.

I am so sorry for your loss, and I hope that tomorrow goes off as smoothly as these things ever can. Thinking of you.

Casmama Mon 07-Jan-13 00:54:53

Thanks for your reply Tuo, good advice.

JustinMumsnot Mon 07-Jan-13 00:59:45

Casmama - I think it is as much about relative height as anything else. The tallest people tend to go in the middle. But as Tuo says the undertaker will be the expert in all of this so go by what they say.
So sorry for your loss.

Cuddledup Mon 07-Jan-13 08:51:09

Cas sorry about your loss, it's my father's funeral tomorrow as well, so I'll be thinking of you. However, he's having a cremation and the undertakers will be carrying the coffin.

The undertakers will advise and the priest will definitely know. However I was once told by a priest that there's no such thing as a lapsed Catholic just "resting'" ! Let's just say I'm well rested!
Good luck tomorrow - personally I'm dreading it.

Pourquoimoi Mon 07-Jan-13 09:10:51

Hope it goes ok OP.

Etiquette falls out the window to practicality when it comes to coffin bearing, undertakers decide who is best placed where and who has a dodgy left shoulder etc. I have been to several catholic funerals and always seen the undertaker arrange.

Casmama Mon 07-Jan-13 16:02:29

Thanks all, my dh made the decisions and everyone seemed happy with it. All went smoothly. So sorry for your loss too cuddled, it's a bad time of year.

Cuddledup Tue 08-Jan-13 21:29:23

Thanks Cas for your kind thoughts, I hope your day wasn't too gruelling.
Have a wine or a brew. !!

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