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Belief in just world

(5 Posts)
HuggleBuggleBear Sat 06-Oct-12 22:37:56

This is the first thread I've started so little nervous. Hope this is in the right place.

I have always held the belief that be good and good things will come your way. Kinda what goes around comes around.

Right now I'm dealing with a whirlwind of negative emotion.

My mum who is a kind, loving, moral, christian young 60 year old has been diagnosed with secondary cancer. There is no cure just treatment which might give her a few years might not. This is the return of the cancer we thought she had beaten 13 years ago.

I don't know how to cope with my anger that the world is not fair, that good people can have bad things happen to them, yet people who perhaps don't lead as good life can be fine.

Why my mum? Why now?

It feels so cruel and unfair that mum is going to miss out on seeing her grandchildren grow up, that me and my brother will lose our mum in our early 30's that my dad will lose his soul mate.

I'm struggling with the concept of fate. Was this always meant to be and if so why.

Sorry if this makes no sense I'm just so confused.

Tuo Sun 07-Oct-12 13:27:05

HuggleBuggleBear - I am so sorry to read this news about your mum. I don't know if I can answer your questions (I'm not sure anyone can), but I didn't want to read and not respond.

It is totally understandable that you are feeling angry and confused at the moment. It would probably be strange if you were feeling any other way in the circumstances. And, no, it's not 'fair'... of course your mum doesn't deserve this, and I am so sorry that your family has to go through it.

For me, personally, the idea, in general, that people get what they deserve in life - that what goes around comes around - doesn't really hold water. What about the people who suffer in huge numbers because of famine or disease or natural disaster or war? Surely whole populations cannot possible have done anything to deserve such suffering? The issue of why bad things happen to good people is a huge and immensely complicated one, and I don't think that there are any easy answers - certainly I don't have them.

For me, the fact that we live in an imperfect world where awful things happen doesn't negate the idea of a loving God. Indeed, as a Christian, I believe in a God who has shown that he is willing to share the suffering of our imperfect world with us, and to walk with us in our pain and anguish.

I can see that that might not help you much right now, as you deal with your mum's diagnosis, and it would be patronising to try to come up with a trite and easy answer to your post. I guess that all I am trying to say really is that there may not be an obvious answer to 'Why?'.

Once again, I am so sorry that you're going through this, and I will be thinking of you and of your mum.

HuggleBuggleBear Sun 07-Oct-12 20:35:34

Thank you for your kind words Tuo. Your post was thought provoking. I think your right that karma doesn't make sense when we see pain and suffering in the world especially to children. I need to accept that bad things happen and its not for any reason, searching for a reason would be futile and is probably my minds ways of protecting me against thinking about what is actually happening, a distraction, its easier for me to be angry than really sad. Despite this i still feel angry and find myself trying to "find the answer". Its shit really and right now im hoping for a miracle.
Im hoping that my mum's faith will help her through this time.
Thanks again for posting, I thought no one was going to respond!

Tuo Sun 07-Oct-12 22:31:39

I am glad I was able to say something that made sense, HBBear. It's an incredibly tough situation, and I really feel for you and your family.

bushymcbush Sun 07-Oct-12 23:30:24

Sorry to hear your distressing news huggle.

It's too simplistic to say that bad deeds bring bad karma and good deeds bring good karma - of course, this is often true in a direct, cause and effect sense - if you are a selfish person you might end up with few friends for example. If you run your business with integrity and moral values, more people might want to become customers, etc.

And then there's random events, out of our hands such as natural disaster and disease which are much, much harder to control or to understand.

I do believe that we will account for how we have led our lives when we die. Not that there is heaven and hell, and a judgement against or for us at the pearly gates - but that we will have to face up to any bad deeds and experience any sorrow or pain we caused. Similarly, we will experience all the joy and comfort we caused. This is how I explain away the problem of karma.

I wish you and your family many happy memories yet to be made.

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