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i want to feel close to my mum again

(11 Posts)
Flosie1989 Thu 13-Sep-12 19:51:49

Hi all.

My mum died 2 and a half years ago in a sudden and horrible way.

It took me a while to feel close to her but after seeing my psychic about a year and a half ago she told me to watch out for certain things that my mum would do to let me know she was there. These exact things happened and it was lovely feeling so close to her.

However since having my DD 19 weeks ago i havent felt her at all and its making me feel sad again.

Can anyone tell me how i can feel her again???

PeahenTailFeathers Fri 14-Sep-12 07:54:49

sad for you - I couldn't imagine losing my mother. I read this article a while ago;

If that's true, your mum is always with you - she's a real, physical part of you and your DD.

Ninjahobbit Fri 14-Sep-12 08:06:48

sorry for hearing about your mum dying suddenly, I had the same thing happen {although not I suspect in the same circumstances}

To feel close to my Mam I put on her favourite film and I feel a change in the air {could be nothing} I also talk to her and when I see something that reminds me of her I smile and keep that memory with me rather than pushing it away.

I also got a tattoo done on my thigh for her {dont get if thats not you though} and it was my own design that encompassed her favourite film and a daisy as she had written a poem to me describing me as a daisy. I have daisy hair grips for myself, a daisy circlet to go around my head and daisy ear-rings. They are all things that help me feel close to her.

My mum hung around for 3 months after she passed away and then I woke up one morning and sensed that she wasnt around, I figured that was because she felt I was going to be ok and went herself elsewhere.

I remember a dream {may have been a memory from seeing something} seeing my mam in a field of wild flowers in a lilac dress. (very not my mams style, she was more ya jeans n t-shirt or little black dress person)

Anyway my message is supposed to be saying you will find your own way of feeling close, and also what peahen said that your mums genes are in you and your DD is true.

I hope you find a way to be close to your mum.

Flosie1989 Fri 14-Sep-12 08:57:48

Thank you both for your kind words. I'll have a read of that link!

I'll try the favourite film thing. Ive got my mums favourite perfume which when i sniff its like shes there but it breaks my heart all over again.

What id really like is to see some signs from her again or maybe since the arrival if dd she has backed off a bit ....who knows...

IawnCont Fri 14-Sep-12 09:10:58

Hope you're okay flosie. It's so hard, isn't it?
It's ten years since my mother died. She was young, and kind, and lovely, and I am so very lucky to have had her. I can remember about 2-3 years after she died, finding it difficult because life was moving on, and things were different to when she was alive. Things like moving house, having children- I couldn't believe that I had a home she would never see, children she would never read stories to!
Having DC was definitely a bit of a trigger for me, as I wanted her practical advice as well as her emotional support. And it's one of those times, like family wedding or big birthday parties, where you know that if she was still alive, she'd have been there. I always find those times difficult.
I do sometimes talk to her still. I spent £££ and years with psychics and mediums to no avail. sad I like to think that she is somewhere else, somewhere sunny with lots of wild flowers, and that I will see her again one day. Someone said to me once that once you've accepted that they have moved on, you gain them within yourself- It made no sense to me at the time, but I get it now. I look down and I see her hands, I hear my voice say the things she would have said.
Huge hugs to you- These feelings are completely natural.

I also should note that the close I've ever felt to her is when I am at a Quaker meeting. If you're not into that, it's easy enough to do at home- Just sitting quietly, not saying a word, not doing anything, for about an hour (the Quakers do it collectively, in a circle).

Flosie1989 Fri 14-Sep-12 10:25:05

Thank you lawncont thats very sweet. Although im sorry that youve been through the same.

The quaker circle thing sounds interesting. I must admit im not really into quakerism. So do i just sit silently for an hour? Not do anything else? Im interested!

IndigoBarbie Fri 14-Sep-12 20:36:49

Hi Flosie and everyone,
I think sometimes when we try too hard to create a connection or closeness that we can stem the very feelings we wish to experience. After my Dad passed I really could feel him there with me at many moments, randomly. He has been gone for just over 2.5 years, and I know every day that he is right there in my heart. Very often I just have to think about him and although I am generally overcome with sadness, I end up releasing my pain in tears. I do sometimes still hear him speaking to me in my head, and have some dreams, though less often now than before. Then, one day I felt that things had 'shifted' and that he was no longer as near to me as he had been. But, I am ok with this. I truly know in my heart that we will see each other again.
I do think we have to let go of our loved ones, and trust in our hearts that they have moved on - but this doesn't always mean losing a connection.
I am very sensitive and I know in my heart that the experiences I have received from the spirit realm are very very real. However, I know that making connections can be very very subtle, and sometimes might be dismissed by many. I would just take some time out, and tell your mum everything you wish to say. Then, just allow whatever comes into your head to come in. Sometimes it can be later on that we receive a message or a thought and this can be the connection we await.
With love xxx IB

Flosie1989 Fri 14-Sep-12 20:46:46

Thank you indigobarbie for your lovely words. I'm getting so emotional over how nice you all are! grin

FermezLaBouche Fri 14-Sep-12 20:55:00

Hi Flosie,

Is it possible you're not "feeling" your mum there because your priorities have so radically changed with the arrival of DD and you don't have time to look for signs of her presence?

Doesn't mean she's not there, or that you should feel guilty for not feeling her - I'm certain you know she wouldn't mind all your energy at the moment being focussed on your baby.

IndigoBarbie Fri 14-Sep-12 20:55:15

Anytime smile Lots of love to you and your wee baby, I know how hard this is, and it's quite often the times when I wish my Dad was here to see my son that I end up letting it all out xxx

ssd Mon 08-Oct-12 09:35:22

hi op, I'm sure your mum will be watching everything you do with your baby, quietly in the background, you may even find your baby can see her, children often see things we dont

I know what you mean by signs, my mum died a month ago and I'm devastated

I got a sign from her when I really really needed it, dont honestly know if I'll get another one, but it really helped me

I hope you (and I) get some another sign soon xx

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