My friends mother passed away almost 1 year ago. I know that she will be very upset and someone mentioned to me that there were specific things done at stages after death (so she gave money to charity, fed the poor, etc). Is one year also a landmark date? I don't like to ask in case I upset her. Is there something I can do?
I will ask my Muslim friend about this. However, speaking as someone who has lost both parents in the last few years, just give her a hug, tell her that you're thinking about her, send some flowers or give a donation to a suitable charity in her mother's name, anything really. Any of the above would make me cry on the anniversary of my loss but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't be really touched and appreciate the thought. I cry on anniversaries anyway/
Sorry for the loss of your friend's mother. As far as I know, there is nothing specific at the one year anniversary. At my DD's first anniversary, many (religious) family members did not even acknowledge it. There are specific surahs to read for the deceased eg Yasin. People do Quran khatams (ie divide the Quran to read amongst several people) and dedicate the readings and blessings to the deceased. That can be done at any time.
I think that it depends on the culture. My husbands family have marked my FILs death for the past few years. There are duas that are read, Qu'ran khatums if possible, Surah Yaseen is recited and as he died in Ramadhan on that night we cook and serve iftar at the mosque.
I think it helps the family to have something to do, a focus, when they are obviously emotions are resurfacing. It is pretty personal though so I expect that others would find other to cope.