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Will I see my Mum and Dad again - anywhere?

(7 Posts)
missdisorganised1 Mon 22-Aug-11 15:42:51

I wish I could be certain that I would see my Mum and Dad again if only to explain why I sometimes feel so cross with them for leaving me to cope with all this crap on my own.

It would have been lovely to really believe they know about my exam results but in my heart I have doubts. Its always going the take some of the joy of events away - graduation, wedding, children whatever.

chibi Mon 22-Aug-11 15:49:59

this is one of the many hard things about being bereaved.

i have times when i think i will see my loved ones again, times when i can 'feel' them with me, and then times when i am sure that that is it

i really don't know. it baffles me that someone who was so there now isn't, not in any way that is meaningful to me now, and i wonder where her 'thereness' has gone?

i am sorry for your loss.

7thmonth Mon 22-Aug-11 17:15:29

I'm certain my parents are finding a way of supporting and loving me for all my days. There's no way they have left me because the pain I feel although constant is bearable. It is the same for father's very best friend. If he'd truly left, neither of us would be able to bear the pain of such a loss. That is the greatest surprise to us of his passing.

Yes I too feel the burden of coping with all that is left. Do you not wonder about the source of your strength since they left? Some cultures believe there are times in the year when passage is easier, and at these times maybe we feel their presence more. The seventh lunar month after Spring is such a time. This year it lasts from 31st July until 28th August.

I think you will see them again, but what's the hurry? You have life to live, the strength of their love for you will allow them to share your life, and you will meet them again in time. Every one of us will have to shed our bodies, we don't have a choice as to when that is either. But it doesn't mean we shed our being. I think they will share the joy of your studies, and life ahead, just as you will always hold their love in you.

wilbur Mon 22-Aug-11 17:25:47

Hello missdis. I know what you mean and it's a tough one to come to terms with. Knowing that your parents would be supremely proud of all your achievements (I saw your results on the A-levels thread, very well done!) is not the same as having them stand next to you and enjoy them fully, I know. I agree with 7thmonth in so far as you will carry their love with you in everything you do, and that is an incredibly powerful thing.

sh77 Mon 22-Aug-11 22:04:46

thanks for responding to my thread. really sorry for the loss of your parents. i can't imagine what that must feel like and dread the day my dad leaves. i don't believe for a second that those we love the most just leave us. i know the desperation of wanting to see/feel their presence. It may happen when you are not looking or expecting it. Open yourself up to looking for signs - you will know. When DD passed away, I was crying for her some months later. A ladybird came to me, which was weird as it was November, freezing, windows closed, no plants in my flat. Sounds corny and cliched but I hope it was her. At the moment, I feel very closed. I don't think that is conducive to "inviting" her.

Congratulations on your results. I hope there were loved ones around you when you got your results.

sh77 Mon 22-Aug-11 22:06:08

7thmonth you have a beautiful way of expressing things. Very comforting advice. Wish I could speak to someone like you in real life.

Hassled Mon 22-Aug-11 22:10:38

My stepmother is convinced my father is up on a cloud somewhere, watching what's going on. I wish I believed her. But I see both my parents in my dreams - and I see them both in my children. And I know they'd be proud of me - you must know that too, with the exam results etc? There's always the bitter-sweet side to big family occasions; it is bloody hard, but just hang on to the joy that is there.

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