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Help- Godparents

(5 Posts)
lala21 Tue 02-Aug-11 07:57:13

Hi just need to air some thoughts and just some friendly advice would be greatly appreciated.

My DH is Cof E baptised and confirmed, I was raised a Hindu ( with a Catholic Dad i know I know). We've recently started attending a tradition C of E church where we've recently moved too and have asked the priest if we can baptise the children.
We were going to ask my sister, sister in law and husband as godparents obviously and rightly so the priest has stipulated that its essential the godparents be baptised.

This won't be the case with my sister. I guess why I'm confused is because I am godparent to two children one c of e and one catholic even though i told the parents at the time I was raised a hindu it was never an issue.

What I am worried about it this: 1)
Should I tell the priest I was raised a Hindu but want the children to follow in my husbands faith? As I clearly got the god parent thing wrong.

I go for a blessing a the service I never have communion I know that as I spoke to someone at the church when they said I could go up.

Anyone of any faith will understand I'm just scared and worried that I may be getting this really wrong and being disrespectful.

The second thing is because so many of our friends of different faiths we know are godparents of Christian children my sister assumes she will be to her niece and nephew.

Help what to do?

DH has said no sister as godparent as she is not baptised ( think she will accept this) and his sister and hubby who both loudly say how they are lapsed and don't believe in god. Then eliviates a family ding dong. And we ask the catholic couple who I am god mother to their daughter. HELP feel like I'm lying to the priest and all i wanted was the children to be blessed, feel very upset

AMumInScotland Tue 02-Aug-11 09:42:30

Hi, I'm not sure I'm completely following all of it but I'll see if I can reassure you.

Your priest is right that the rules say godparents have to be baptised, so your sister will have to accept this. Your friends may not have told the priest that you were raised Hindu when they made you a godparent, or the priest may not have minded - since so many people have different faiths these days, some priests are happier than others to ignore the rules. TBH the fact that you have some religious beliefs at all probably puts you in a better position to help teach a child about faith than many of the baptised-but-don't-believe "Christians".

I would tell the priest about your background - he won't mind baptising your baby, but he could give you the choice of which parts of the service you want to say with your husband and the godparents, so that you can join in but not say things you can't say wholeheartedly about belief in Christ. And I'm sure he'll be fine about you going up for a blessing at communion - that is not disrespectful at all.

DuelingFanjo Tue 02-Aug-11 09:52:08

I would say nothing. Is he going to ask for evidence?

MaryBS Tue 02-Aug-11 11:32:11

First of all don't be upset, what has happened in the past is not your fault, and it is down to the parents of the child you are Godparent to, what they told or didn't tell the priest, and also the priest him/herself if he 'allowed' you to be Godparent given that you aren't baptised. If it will help YOU though, speak to the priest who can advise you.

As regards your own children, its lovely what you are doing re: your children being brought up in faith. The form we ask parents to fill in at our church ask about whether you and the Godparents have been baptised, but as far as the C of E is concerned, its more important that the Godparents are baptised, and the fact that your DH has been baptised/confirmed will also help.

How do you feel about the words of the baptism service? Have you got any questions over those?

(One of my roles as a lay minister is to prepare parents of children to be baptised)

lala21 Tue 02-Aug-11 18:48:31

Thank you so much for your words they have been very reassuring. I have just replied to the vicars email ( so thoroughly modern) and have invited him for a cup of tea and a chat with me and DH.

I've explained that I would like to do the right thing and feel I need some guidance having been raised a Hindu alot of things are new to me even though I have been church.

I also feel that my sister will understand because I've read through the baptism service (thank you MaryBS) and she will understand the very significant religious context which as no one explained to me despite me saying to my friends about my faith that I was raised in certainly 100% means that godparents need to be baptised. Again I know that seems so obvious but as shows is not always the case.

I think I got myself upset and it had no baring on the real important religious role which explained in that context its a no brainer. I just panicked that she could not be part of the day but off course she can be.

I am very relieved and happy now.

x x x

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