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feel I have lost faith in god.

(17 Posts)
ladyGeraldine Sun 12-Jun-11 01:03:13

I have believed in god, followed the bible etc. I tried to be kind and think of others, wouldn't think of breaking commandments. For so long all I see are liars and people damaging me and others. I feel so miserable from this. I prayed and nothing nice or no one nice comes into my life. It is pointless praying or doing good no one is there. I am fed up of bad stuff, I was so optimisti', no more. Why is god ignoring me, and not giving me a break, I need something nice to happen.

Dorje Sun 12-Jun-11 01:07:39

Just add an o to god - think of god as good, and you'll begin to think more positively. If not, maybe it would help to talk with your GP? Feeling very pessimistic can be a symptom of depression.

Good luck.

ladyGeraldine Sun 12-Jun-11 01:15:41

I am depressed, as so many bad things have happened. I had always had faith and hope, i cursed god today first time, I have had enough. I want a break and be able to enjoy life for once. I am sick of problems, stopping me being free to do things that make me happy.

Tyr Sun 12-Jun-11 01:33:26

You can now start making up for all the years you wasted. Once you realise that, the depression should lift.

Dorje Sun 12-Jun-11 01:37:11

So, take a break from Religion, and don't worry about faith.

Allow yourself to enjoy nature, and music and dance! Start with a small allowance if you feel that suits you better. Take 10 minutes to have a walk outside in a park, and really notice the air, and the trees, and all the birds. Keep breathing it in for the 10 mins, and then allow yourself more time next time.

Go to your GP and tell her what you've written here.
You need to take care of yourself, that includes your mental health.

ladyGeraldine Sun 12-Jun-11 01:42:49

I have been doing that and feel better when I do and when i have peace and order, I have no control over others causing problems, I can't get them out of my life I am beginning to hate them for treating me like rubbish, because others treat them badly. I feel trapped. Faith in god helped, I have lost faith.

MaryBS Sun 12-Jun-11 01:59:53

I guess the big question is, do you want to have faith, especially when you (possibly) see it as causing you misery?

I recognise a lot of what you are feeling, because at times I've felt it too. I've not cursed God, but I've shouted at Him, ranted at him, and cried because of things that have happened in my life. I've also tried to love and forgive people that I find unloveable and who've hurt me or my family and don't care, so I struggle to forgive them. Sometimes I try too hard to be what I think God wants me to be, and then resent it - maybe this is what you are feeling?

Its hard to say whether this is a temporary or permanent feeling. If you want to work it out with God, then this is probably temporary, but you might need to rethink your expectations of him AND of yourself. Maybe its not faith you've lost so much, as trust?

I second the suggestion of talking it through with someone like your GP, as there may be an element of depression here. Only if you want, but would it also help to talk it through with a minister? Someone you trust to care for you, rather than beat you up for feeling like this?

(and now, I'd better go back to bed...)

HerRoyalNotness Sun 12-Jun-11 02:16:15

Sorry you are feelin this way. He does not send us problems nor does he magically remove problems, what God can do is give you the strength to bear the problems. Be very specific in what you're asking Him and always pray through the name of His son, Jesus.

These days I will pray for instance, not for my DS1 to stop being annoying, but for memo have patience in dealing with him. N(as a totally trivial example)

DBennett Sun 12-Jun-11 11:26:44

I feel very uncomfortable with the advice given by HerRoyalNotness.

I think if prayer has any value it is in it's meditative quality.
As a form of quiet reflection on our troubles with a focal point formed by tradition and ritual.

Whilst attempting to sway another to your precise format of prayer may bolster your own faith, it strikes me that it could be interpreted as a blaming statement, along the lines of you were doing it wrong and thus don't deserve your prayers answered.

Which is factually, and morally, indefensible.

OP, if you feel prayer has not had a tangible effect on your life and you are not comforted by the process you not alone.

Lots of people, from all faiths, do not feel the benefit of personal religious ritual yet still appreciate communal acts of worship and the moral guidance that can be found in faith traditions.

And it's worth noting that the best evidence available indicates that prayer has no benefit in discrete outcomes.

For some, this doubt in a deity that answers prayer is the first step in leaving their faith.

These options are open to you.

I would echo the advice by previous posters to talk to your G.P.
I think that could be of benefit.

JandT Tue 14-Jun-11 18:37:25

Hi OP,

Just read your post and wanted to say that believing in God (and praying) shouldn't mean you don't have fun, just that you should have fun without harming anyone.

As for the people who are hurting you, God doesn't say you have to stay friends with them or give them time, just that you shouldn't harm them back. Years ago I had some friends who made me feel bad about myself by being two faced about me and in the end I distanced myself from them as I got so down. It really helped and in fact now, apart from talking to them again and not having the same problem as I'm not so involved, I feel sorry for them as they seem so weak.

In my experience, God will deal with things and people in his own time. Whether that means it's a 'revenge' or karma, I'm not sure but, the few people I have really struggled with not being nice have all in some way or another had negative experiences. But the great thing about God is with his help I can pray for them.

So, my advice is have fun, see your GP if it is more than a God issue, see a priest if you feel that a good honest chat would help and pray for these people, not for yourself.

Good luck and I pray you can find your faith again.

springydaffs Fri 01-Jul-11 23:08:40

I think God often answers our prayers through other people. Sometimes we want God to just intervene, do something miraculous. If you look back, really look, you will see that he has been pointing you in a certain direction. YOu/we may say we can't be bothered with that, ok maybe I will when I get round to it etc. But it's him answering and we ignore it, waiting for him to answer!

Yep, I know that sounds simplistic but tbh he's pretty ordinary when it comes down to communicating, most of the time wink

Hope you feel better soon OP. I've had my moments of packing it all in. nearly 18 years to be exact. Wish I hadn't. Even if you're pissed off with him, where else is there to go? Tell him what you think/feel, in graphic detail - if that's all you've got at the moment then that's all you've got to give him ie rage, anger, disappointment, hurt. I@ve had a shedload of all of that and believe me, he's heard every moment of it (when I get beyond being religious and 'good', that is). Read the bible and let him talk to you, don't try to work it out yourself too much, ask him to speak to you and he will. He has comforted me so much at times when I have been so hurt I can hardly stand it. I'm usually a bit incredulous because he speaks so directly that I almost look behind me because I can hardly believe he's saying something so direct and obvious to ME.

Trestired Sat 02-Jul-11 10:45:16

Maybe God, if there is one, wants you to make your owm breaks. You can't sit around waiting for God to sort your life out. He is enormously busy. What can YOU do today to make your like better?

springydaffs Sat 02-Jul-11 14:49:42

ho! not surprised you don't believe in God if you think he's as cold and heartless as that Tres. As it happens, he's the very opposite and has laboured the point. OP is in a very disheartened place - telling her to pull her socks up and do it herself will only make her feel a lot worse I think. i get your point but sometimes you can barely breathe you're in such a funk. Sometimes you have to get to a point where, having exhausted every possibility, you lean totally on God. sorry about the cliche though but it's hard to put it any other way. You 'lean' with your entire being - kicking and screaming if you're anything like me blush

Trestired Sat 02-Jul-11 15:14:31

I was being a bit flippant with that comment about God being busy springydaff, but if he is the 'very opposite' of what I said he was ('busy') then you are saying that he isn't busy. In which case, why isn't he helping the OP sort things out?

And I was only asking the OP what he/she might do because sometimes when you are feeling that fed up you actually forget that you do thave the power to try things yourself.

If you kept asking a friend for help and they kept ignoring you, you would question their friendship. If God is not answering the OP then he/she is quite to be asking questions...in my opinion.

springydaffs Sat 02-Jul-11 16:09:17

He very probably is answering her, only she doesn't realise it's him! distress can block out erm God a lot of the time. oh and yes he's kinda busy but also totally available. imo wink

Trestired Sat 02-Jul-11 19:17:17

wink

There are essentially two way of looking at this.

God either:

a) knows what's best and is answering in a way that isn't obvious now, but will become much more apparent later (Footprints?)

or

b) Isn't answering because he doesn't exist.

Only you can deside what you believe ladygeraldine and there are arguments for both sides of this coin. Either way, I still think that you need to think about how you can help yourself because you do sound very fed up. Have you thought about visiting your GP for a chat? Or a friend?

Have you read the God Delusion. Perhaps if you read that it might help you clarify your thoughts depending on how strongly you feel either way about the arguments presented.

I suspect however, that this isn't your main problem at the moment. I could be wrong but it sounds like someone is hurting you in some way.

springydaffs Sat 02-Jul-11 23:41:32

erm the book with the title The God Delusion kind of speaks for itself. I'm not sure it gives a balanced view of God tbh, the author being quite rabidly anti-God and all, not just anti-religion (and I'd be with him on that one) but actively anti-God.

OP if you are angry enough to curse God then you do believe at root that he exists, otherwise you wouldn't be cursing him, if you get my drift. You are probably, as I have been many times, extremely angry with him; that, if he does exist and is who is says he is, why doesn't he do something and get you out of the very painful situation you are in? It may sound twee but when I look back I can see his 'footprints' in my life, when at the time I had no indication that he was there at all and very strongly felt, and screamed said, that if he was he was a bastard. Life isn't all about having a good time, though we all want a good and relatively easy life, every one of us. I have had some very, very tough times and tbh in the end there was nowhere else to go but to him, I was in too much pain to bear it on my own. I still wonder sometimes why I have had such a tough life but frankly that is just a very stressful way to think - I can't know the answer. I do know that I can come alongside people who are suffering because I know what it's like. I'm not saying I am the expert on all suffering (tbh, he is) but I can sit with people who are suffering, not be horrified or judge. That in itself is a comfort to some people though we all want someone/thing to get us out of the mess when we just can't see a way out. We want to be rescued.

One thing I have learnt about pain is that it is much more painful if we struggle against it. It is better to go with it, to almost say "I am in agony here" and just sit with it. It's a relief to still the protests and the momumental anger if that makes any sense, there is a great peace to it.

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