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Bad things happen to good people

(7 Posts)
Alibobster Sat 01-Jan-11 09:56:18

Not very religious but I believe in God, say my prayers at night thanking him for what I have and saying a prayer for those who need it.

On Wednesday I had my 4th m/c. this was particularly hard as we saw a heartbeat and thought this wee one was going to make it. Why has this happened? i'm not a bad person and this baby was so wanted and loved already.

I am so angry especially when there are so many undeserving people in the world who don't love or care for their children. What the hell have I done wrong. I am finding it very hard to believe anymore.

AMumInScotland Sat 01-Jan-11 10:32:50

I'm really sorry about your losses - it must be so hard to get your hopes up and then lose another little life. I hope you're getting some support on the m/c section and in RL to help you deal with it.

From a religious point of view, it is hard to believe in an all-powerful God when we live in a world where such bad stuff happens, and there isn't an easy answer. But the fact is that God just can't jump in and fix every bad thing, or else we would just be like puppets where nothing was real. And, if everyone got exactly what they deserve, life would be pretty shitty too! I know you feel like "what have I done wrong", but imagine what it would feel like if you knew that you actually had done something bad enough for God to deliberately hurt you this way and that every bad thing that happened to you was exactly what you deserved in life and not just random shit? Wouldn't that be so much worse than the baffled hurt and anger you feel now?

Believing in God, and trying to do what we think God wants doesn't make us immune from bad stuff happening - all it can do is to help you feel you are not alone in the mess, but have someone with you who loves you. Praying to thank God for what you have is a good thing - maybe you could also pray for a feeling of Him being with you in this, and to pray for his help and support while you are so raw and grieving?

I hope that doesn't sound too "trite", I doubt anything can make it feel even the slightest bit less awful at the moment. sad for you.

sarah293 Sat 01-Jan-11 10:34:33

Message withdrawn

jaffacakeaddict Sat 01-Jan-11 19:24:53

I am really sorry to read about your losses. I recognise your username from some of the threads elsewhere on the site and am sorry to read of your news. I would love to say I have answers for you but I'm afraid I don't. This is an area I struggle with from a Christian perspective. I don't think though that bad things happen to people because they deserve them. The bible is littered with references to good people who had hardships. Consequently, I don't think you have suffered these losses because you have done anything wrong. I'm sorry I couldn't give a fuller answer. I'm hoping someone more knowledgable than me will be along soon and will be able to answer your post more fully.

said Sat 01-Jan-11 19:34:54

Really sorry about your mcs.

But re this post AMIS: "But the fact is that God just can't jump in and fix every bad thing, or else we would just be like puppets where nothing was real. And, if everyone got exactly what they deserve, life would be pretty shitty too!" Why couldn't a god do that? That's surely precisely what a god can do? And why would life be pretty shitty if god interveneved and stopped crap stuff happening?

AMumInScotland Sat 01-Jan-11 22:17:04

said - If God did jump in and make all the bad stuff go away, then cause and effect would not have any meaning - we can't always know the cause of things which happen, and they will often seem to be completely random, but effect does follow cause, that's what makes the world tick over from one second to the next. I believe in God, and I believe that an all-powerful God could, in theory, do that. But I also believe that since God decided to make a universe in which we could evolve and have free will, then we can't have the non-stop intervention that it would take to stop bad things from happening.

And I mean it would be shitty if every time something bad happened to us, we knew 100% that it was because God was punishing us for our errors. That we had no real freedom of choice, and were just treated like puppets or babies who were given no opportunity to make our own decisions.

HallelujahHeisBorntoMary Sat 01-Jan-11 22:23:23

You haven't done anything wrong, I hope you don't think that. There isn't an easy answer to it, and believe me there've been times when I've SCREAMED at God WHY????? And I've also cried and sought comfort in my pain.

I hope you can find some comfort, I really do...

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