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Help - negative mum (Christianity)

(6 Posts)
PurpleMiffy Thu 16-Dec-10 17:03:35

I've recently become a Christian but been going to my Church for the past couple of years. Something quite tragic has happened in our family and I got an awful text from my mum. She basically had a rant and then said 'So where is your god now?' Firstly I was angry as I am a bystander in the whole situation and secondly because she is having a go out my faith. How do I deal with it? How do you explain to non-christians why bad things happed? I know this is a biggie and not easily answered. I dont know where to start. x

scurryfunge Thu 16-Dec-10 17:11:16

You have to accept that your mother will be upset, in denial and probably shocked by what has happened. People like to blame someone/something when bad things happen. You have to be understanding about how she may feel right now.

You cannot explain to non-Christians why bad things happen -it is your belief, not hers and you should not be trying to push your views on her.

itsatiggerday Thu 16-Dec-10 17:16:26

I'm really sorry to hear your family's been having a tough time. There can be so much behind people's reactions and within families it can be even more tricky. Please try not to take it too personally. Without knowing the situation, your mum could be feeling lots of things - fear that you've joined a cult, fear of you doing something that will take you in a different direction and make her feel like she's 'losing' you, bemusement that you've come to different conclusions on something to her. And she's also now angry and upset by something going on and wondering how to cope. She may even have been interested in your faith and now feel really let down.

I guess my first concern would be how you're doing and encourage you to chat to people at church if you're finding it hard to trust God as things happen that seem to inexplicable around us. If you're doing OK, then try to be as supportive of your mum as possible, not to take it personally when she takes her feelings out on you and if you can, try to listen so you can hear what she's really worried / angry about. And pray for her!

WisteriaWoman Thu 16-Dec-10 18:19:19

Sorry to hear about your recent tough times..
there is a book called something like "Why bad things happen to good people". It's written by a rabbi who's son had a life limiting disease. It's meant to be v good and explains why bad things do happen and why God can't be blamed.

Hope things resolve themselves peacefully.
WW x

PurpleMiffy Thu 16-Dec-10 19:50:53

Thank you for all the replies. Children have gone to bed so only just able to sit down and read.

scurryfunge I haven't tried to push any beliefs on her. I didn't reply to the text and just let it go. I understand she's angry. Christianity is still something I'm trying to understand myself. I just wanted some pointers on understanding why bad things happen. Then in future I will be able to explain how I can still have faith. Right now I can't quite put it into words.

itsatiggerday I don't think she's worried about my faith. I think she just wanted to lash out at someone. I do trust God. Last year my mum got ill, this happened just as I found faith. I turned my back on God and was very angry for a long time. This time it's different. I feel my faith is strong and no matter what gets thrown at me this time. I will have faith. I have to believe there is a greater plan in this world, or what's the point?

WW I will look out for that book. Reading 'The Reason for God' at the minute and finding it really helpful.

itsatiggerday Fri 17-Dec-10 14:39:26

You could also try 'If I were God, I'd end all the pain' by John Dickson. And you could do an online hunt for sermons on Job, there are some big churches who put all their stuff online for free. Take care.

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