My castrated cat keeps trying to get it on with my giant monkey.

[Hangingbellyofbabylon]

My cat is a year old and was neutered at about 6 months. I have a giant stuffed toy monkey which the dd's have got out to play with and is currently sat on the armchair. The last two nights he has approached the monkey and started paddling like he is finding somewhere to sleep - next thing he is semi-humping and going all jittery . Last night dh picked him up and there was his teeny tiny penis sticking out! Do neutered cats still get sexual desires? Also if I left him alone is he actually going to bring it to fruition iyskwim? Is cat castration just like a human vasectomy? .

My poor poor monkey.

[EccentricaGallumbits]

castration shouldn't be like a vasectomy cos the whip off the balls entirely so in theory he shouldn'thave any 'urges'

no idea what's going on wwith him. can you imagine the offspring?

[EleanoraBuntingCupcake]

i thought it was going to be a real monkey - v. disapointed

[IOnlyReadtheDailyMailinCafes]

My castrated cat constantly humps my springer spaniel.

[Hangingbellyofbabylon]

It's the fact that he's half kneading like they do when breastfeeding and half humping . He obviously has some dirty fanstasy about the monkey being his mother. He was weaned from the breast very late, perhaps this is telling us something. .

[PaulDacresCrackWhore]

I had a cat that did this. He'd steal jumpers and towels and take them off to dark corners to have his wicked way with them. Was definitely humping. In the end we had to give him his own wanky blanky and warn visitors not to leave cardies etc in reach.

[PaulDacresCrackWhore]

BTW - my favourite thread title of the day

[MadameOvary]

This should go in Classics

[IOnlyReadtheDailyMailinCafes]

Our cat is black and white like our springer. when it was a kitten it used to try and feed from our dogs willy. The dog would lie on its back and let out a huge sigh when it had finished.

Our dog used to hump dd stuffed horse on the dining table in front of our bay window. If you pressed the horse in a certain place it would give a neigh which the dog took as a sign of satisfaction. My study used to be above the dining room and whenever I used to see people staring into my house I would know the dog was shagging the horse again.

pmsl at wanky blanky.

[PaulDacresCrackWhore]

EWWW at IOnly's cat and dog!

[IOnlyReadtheDailyMailinCafes]

I know , we were thinking of getting some guinea pigs but the mind boggles at what may happen.

At least the fish keep themselves to themselves, although the mollies are relentless in their carnal desires.

[PaulDacresCrackWhore]

Mollies? What are theyy? Do I want to know?

[IOnlyReadtheDailyMailinCafes]

Fish, they are well known for constantly wanting to get it on. I need to have a few females for one male as the males can drive the females to a breakdown with their constant demands.

[PaulDacresCrackWhore]

You pander to his unnatural lusts? Fishpimp!

[PaulDacresCrackWhore]

No other monkey-spanking pets? Oh come on...

[Hangingbellyofbabylon]

oh my! it makes my cat look fairly innocent -am a bit at the cat giving the dog a BJ!! and bleurg at the wanky blanky. Can I just cut to the chase and ask... if I let him go at it on the monkey, would he erm... ejaculate? I just need to know if my monkey is gonna get it in case he is up to mischief when I'm not around.

[PaulDacresCrackWhore]

From my experience, you don't have to worry about fluids. Just inappropriate cat hair and startled guests

[PacificDogwood]

Your thread title wins my vote for the "Funniest title of the day" Award!! Brill!!

Sorry, I have absolutely nothing constructive to add either.

[VulgarAchesButCanRun5k]

I've got an elderly female carpet who munches the carpet if Dh tickles just above her tail.

And I had two gay male kittens who used to lick each other's willies and hump each other all the time. Sadly one got run over so the one left is just a lonely old queen now.

[VulgarAchesButCanRun5k]

elderly female CAT not carpet.

[bumpybecky]

I was giggling at wank blanky but IORTDM's post has got me crying with laughter!

[Hangingbellyofbabylon]

This thread is messing with my head - had some horrible dreams which involved my cat humping cushions as well as the monkey. Thank goodness the wanky blanky didn't feature in my dream..