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Got to put cat to sleep - with or without children

(15 Posts)
dippica Tue 11-Aug-09 13:06:09

Sure this has done before but can't find it.
Making very sad and horrible decision to put my very poorly 14 year old cat to sleep this week. Am wanting to let the kids have the chance to say goodbye, so will be telling them what's going to happen etc, but would you take kids in with you for the actual injection? Boys are 7 and 9. Part of me thinks they will benefit from seeing the cat drift off to sleep quietly, but part of me thinks its too much.
Am already in bits, she's just so poorly sad

WriggleJiggle Tue 11-Aug-09 13:09:46

Definitely not. Let them say their goodbyes, then take cat to the vet yourself. You may find you want a little bit of time to yourself straight afterwards rather than having to deal with the 'so how will it decompose?' questions.
Obviously you'll have those wquestions when you get home, but might be nice not to have to think about anything else and just focus on your cat for that short time.

WriggleJiggle Tue 11-Aug-09 13:12:51

It is also possible that she doesn't drift off quietly, but twitches or moves as it happens. Plus the whole visiting the vet thing will probably be quite traumatic for the cat (ours hate visiting the vet), it will be easiest to keep her calm on your own.

Totallyfloaty35 Wed 12-Aug-09 11:23:29

Dont take kids.Had to have old dog put to sleep and dd1 helped me get her there,was so wrapped up in horribleness of it all that i only realised dd1 was still with us when dog collapsed twitching and dd let out a shreik.dd2 dealt with it all much better as she didnt watch our old girl "go"

Monkeyandbooba Wed 12-Aug-09 11:25:42

Hmm I wouldn't, they don't always just drift of to sleep quietly. Can be twitching and noises and sometime even take a couple of goes Can you do it at home, they come in a say goodbye then leave the room when the vet does his bit?

Roomfor2 Wed 12-Aug-09 11:26:59

Without - no need to give them that lasting memory. Let them say goodbye at home and then just explain the rest to them gently. No need for them to see it happening. Even if they don't understand exactly what is happening now, they might realise later and then it will be a traumatic memory for them to have.

Sorry for you sad

My dog is having an op today (her third) and I'm worried about having to go through the same thing in the future if she doesn't get better sad.

Just remember you are doing the best thing for her.

Bella21 Wed 12-Aug-09 11:33:30

I agree - without. I used to be a vet nurse and have helped put cats to sleep. Usually it goes very smoothly but sometimes it can be tricky, especially if the animal is very ill and the vet cannot easily find a vein.

Very sorry x

grouchyoscar Wed 12-Aug-09 11:35:47

When I had to do the deed earlier this year I booked an appointment with the vet during school hours. I told DS that the cat had been put to sleep about 48 hrs later.

I had warned him she was ill and we may have to say goodbye to her during a previous appointment which DS attended. He was so difficult during that vet visit that keeping him out of the equation when the deed was done was best all round

tattycoram Wed 12-Aug-09 11:36:21

Without definitely. My brother got his cat put down recently and was very upset afterwards - he was 35. Much too much for a child

LadyGlencoraPalliser Wed 12-Aug-09 11:37:32

When we had our cat put to sleep this year the children came in, said goodbye and then waited in the waiting room with DH while I stayed with her. But that was partly because I didn't know it was going to happen, she was old and very ill, but I was still hoping for a miracle. If I knew for sure that she was going to be put to sleep I would have let them say their goodbyes at home.
We brought her body home though and they made her a lovely coffin and we had a funeral in the garden.

grouchyoscar Wed 12-Aug-09 11:45:03

Plus I was in bits too and I didn't need to cope with DS while I was coping with my emotions.

It took 2 attempts to do the injection, poor Maisie was so old and ill it was hard to raise a vein. Explaining it to me was tricky enough, add DS to it would have been awful.

{[Hugs}} to you, I know how your feeling. You are doing the best and right thing for your puss

MegBusset Wed 12-Aug-09 11:45:09

Definitely not. Sorry to have to say this but it may not be that peaceful - my poor old mog was howling and writhing as they struggled to find a vein

of course I hope your cat's passing will be gentle but i would never risk letting kids see it.

dippica Wed 12-Aug-09 13:15:53

Just to update ...
Thanks for all the views - you're all absolutely right of course.
We had a very emotional saying goodbye session last night and this morning, explained what was happening, what might be the outcome, and why etc etc. DH took cat to vet, I stayed home - and we had a big blubby cuddle.
HOWEVER ... vet wants to try one more week of different steroids and antibiotics - he says she is weak and obviously very ill, but still reasonably alert, and apparently not in any pain (she was purring at the vets!) . So one more week to see if there is any improvement - then take it from there.
I still feel emotionally drained though, and we may be doing it all over again next week!

But the boys were better at home, with their happy memories in tact, so thanks all.

Bella21 Wed 12-Aug-09 14:40:57

Keeping it all crossed for you, dippica x

MamaKaty Wed 12-Aug-09 17:13:51

I agree with everyone else that your kids probably shouldn't be there when your cat is put to sleep, but have you thought about taking your cat's body home and allowing your children to help bury it? It can help them to say goodbye and a pets death is a significant learning experience for children in dealing with grief. I know when my childhood pet died having a little 'funeral' for it in the back garden made it easier to cope with.
I'm sorry anyway you're having to go through this sad

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