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Am I being unreasonable to want a dog?

(19 Posts)
mum2seb Mon 02-Feb-09 12:55:26

Ok, me and dh are really not in agreement here, but I would LOVE to have a dog! His argument is that we don't live in the country, therefore we shouldn't have a dog (he's a country boy!). He thinks he'll get 'lumbered' with taking it for walks (if you ask me, he could do with going out for a walk, anyway! De-stress!!), and he's not terribly impressed that I don't want a big dog. His family have always had Labradors (we had golden retrievers, but I do agree that our house isn't big enough for a dog of that size, and I think a smaller dog would be better for the children!). I have a year to work on him - when my youngest starts at pre-school (don't ask me why I've chosen then, I have NO idea), hopefully. I just think having a dog would be so good for my 2 boys (ds1, 4 1/2yrs and disabled (just physically - wears splints), and ds2, 2yrs). Someone help me come up with a plan of action!! Btw, I'm a SAHM, so I'd be here for the dog too!

bella29 Mon 02-Feb-09 12:58:24

My advice in these cases is very simple - if dh cannot be talked round, then get rid of dh.

Next question? grin

hercules1 Mon 02-Feb-09 13:01:08

You do need to be sure you can walk it everyday no matter what the weather and it is hard work doing an hours walk with little ones. Dh and I take it in turns so dont tend to walk much as a family.

hercules1 Mon 02-Feb-09 13:01:26

You do need to be sure you can walk it everyday no matter what the weather and it is hard work doing an hours walk with little ones. Dh and I take it in turns so dont tend to walk much as a family.

LuLuBai Tue 03-Feb-09 16:21:16

errr - tell him you really feel you need more fresh air and would feel safer if you had a dog to walk with?

Tell him you think the walking would help you shed those last few pounds you've been battling with and help tone up your bum (my DH would go for that angry)

Or focus on the kids - educational, will help them learn responsibility, get them outdoors, help them exercise etc, reduces likelihood of developing allergies, friendship if they are having a hard time at school etc etc.

Whatever you do, steer away from the cost of kennel fees every time you go on holiday. Unless you have supportive friends / family this either adds an extortionate fixed cost to your hols or dictates where you go.

(btw I'd like a dog too, but my cat has opinions on these matters and disagrees)

mum2seb Tue 03-Feb-09 21:36:25

Thankyou all! I'll keep on plugging away at him! He will cave in eventually! I walk everywhere anyway, and can't afford the gym, so a dog would give me the excuse/incentive to get out and off my backside, I think!! Providing I don't get a dog the size of a small pony, my MIL or one of my friends have said they'll be willing to dog sit, so I'm hoping that won't be a problem - we tend to end up camping most of the time, anyway!! I've come to terms with the fact that this will probably be a long term goal! It took dh 2 years to agree to have ds1 ffs!!

LuLuBai Tue 03-Feb-09 21:47:17

Good luck!

Sometimes these things are meant to be. We didn't 'plan' a pet but somehow we ended up unable to turn down our cat (a grumpy old rescue cat who was effectively on kitty cat 'death row' as no-one wanted to take him on).

SubRosa Tue 03-Feb-09 23:15:17

Good luck, but be careful which breed you choose. We have a Patterdale terrier and she's lovely. If you haven't got the space for a big dog, terriers are ideal if you're determined and have terrier experience.

hatwoman Wed 04-Feb-09 23:00:45

the living in the country stuff is rubbish. as long as you've got a park - and you don't mind walking in it yourself - the dog's not going to mind. he's not going to be admiring the views.

re walks - if you're a sahm and he's going in to work I doubt very much he'll get "lumbered" with it. certainly not once kids are all at school. and walking a dog is sheer pleasure anyway.

re breeds/size - I wouldn't dismiss a lab solely on house size. the amount of space a dog takes up isn't only a factor of their physical size - it's also to do with how bouncy they are. my db has a v. bouncy springer and we have a placid lab. the lab is getting on for 50 per cent bigger - but he takes up less space iyswim.

and re being good for kids - it's so true. one of my dds in particular is head over heals. and it's lovely to see.

and persuading dh? let the dcs do it....try googling the daily a book crammed full of about having a dog....he'll crack grin.

GrimmaTheNome Wed 04-Feb-09 23:14:46

Smaller dogs dont necessarily need walking every day anyway - certainly not if you've a reasonable size garden. Our standard dachs doesn't get walked every day by any means, but can climb a mountain on a weekend. Proper tough little hounds despite looking like sausages.

Luckily my DH had been pre-owned by a dachs grin it might well not fit with your DHs predjudices, but there are loads of compact but non-frilly breeds to choose from.

staffylover Thu 19-Feb-09 22:39:11

Bella29 Good advice!

PaulaMummyKnowsBest Sun 22-Feb-09 15:47:15

get your hubby to see some puppies

There is a farm near me that from time to time has beautiful border collie puppies. Everytime they have a little, I have phoned my DH and pleaded with him to get let me have one. I have even taken photos of them to show him how cute they were.

Still no luck.

This week I was poorly (being sick)and asked him to help me take the children to the farm. They had another litter.

This time DH agreed that they were gorgeous and agreed to me buying one grin

She is lovely

ABetaDad Sun 22-Feb-09 15:59:13


I am with your husband on this. He is country boy like me and he is talking sense. I agree with every word he says apart from wanting a big dog. A small dog is best for town.

You also have small children - small dogs and children should never be left alone together as I posted elsewhere. Sorry to repeat this but young children are very vulnerable if left alone with a dog.

If you are SAHM - I would wait until both children are at least 5 and you know for sure you do not want to go back to work. Then think about it again.

PauaMumyKnowsBest - a border collie is a working dog and can be very badly behaved if not given an outlet such as obedience work. Chewing furniture and chasing cars is very common. Would you be interested in obedience classes? The dog and you would enjoy it I am sure.

PaulaMummyKnowsBest Sun 22-Feb-09 20:47:33

ABetaDad...we have a list of puppy classes but none of them will take us on until after her 2nd set of jabs so she is going to socialise with the dogs of friends and family for the next few weeks and have mini "training sessions" at home.

I can't wait to get her out into the outside world to do proper training with her and I'm sure she'll agree grin

All of my children are at full time school so we have plenty of time to do lots of activities together.

ABetaDad Sun 22-Feb-09 21:01:58


Great stuff!

You will find a Border Collie a very faithful companion.

My Dad has always had one for 50 years now. He has two at the moment and one of them lost her leg when she got bitten by a snake but she still rounds the sheep up on 3 legs and would follow him to the end of the earth.

I am sure you wil enjoy yours. They are lovely as puppys.

PaulaMummyKnowsBest Sun 22-Feb-09 21:28:52

she is so different from my last dog - a newfie

She is tiny in comparison! She is such a sweetie.

there is photo on my profile of her if you'd like to see how scrummie she is smile

ABetaDad Sun 22-Feb-09 22:01:49

Awwwh isn't she lovely.

Making me all broody now. blush

southeastastra Sun 22-Feb-09 22:02:36

oh please don't dress it up or put it in a bag

PaulaMummyKnowsBest Tue 24-Feb-09 19:42:19


Why would I?

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