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Turned down by a breeder for a puppy because I work 3+ hours a day (3 times a week)

(17 Posts)
floaty Wed 28-Jan-09 17:06:11

I am not critisizing the breeder,she just has to do the best she can and I know she has the best interests of her dogs at heart but she made me feel so small and awful.I know I work but it is very part time and we have been planning getting a dog for about 3 years,to this end I have changed my work hours ,artranged to have about 2 months off when we first get puppy, and have help in house and very keen PIL who would like to share dog care so that quite frankly I can see no reason for the puppy to left at all whilst he is small and after 6 months for a max of 2 hours and not then regularly.

I grew up with dogs ,I know that they are a huge respoinsibility but as afamily we would like to do this especially for ds2 (12) who has SEN and loves his animals .

I suppose I just feel sad and I also feel judged ,I work so that we can afford for ds2 to get the help that he needs and also because I have a professional qualification which I enjoy using,I also work very part time only 5 minutes from home.This laady quite seriuosly said that in her opinion it was the norm for only one partner to work whose world is this ,I have always made sure that the children have the best care I can afford and that would extend to a dog.

Sorry just a rant really,feeling sorry for myself but sometimes I just feel fed up of people looking down their noses becase I work and then I look at others who have either lied about working or just gone and bought a puppy from a petshop and I just think clearly I am too honest for my own good ,I was completely upfront about our circumstances .I cannot believe that no puppy she has ever sold has been to a person who works but maybe she has been lucky anyway we'll keep looking but my confidence has been shaken.

Evenstar Wed 28-Jan-09 18:50:55

I would try another breeder, you have clearly put a lot of thought and time into preparing for a puppy. What breed is it, some breeds are really not good about being left even for short periods? My German Shepherd suffered with seperation anxiety when she was young and that breed are prone to it, she could be destructive even though I didn't work and rarely left her. Don't feel bad, my mother-in-law when in her 70's was refused by a breeder because she was too old.

hatwoman Wed 28-Jan-09 22:16:41

I agree with Evenstar - you are clearly up to the job. Try another breeder.

floaty Wed 28-Jan-09 22:23:34

We want a cocker spaniel,I had one as a child so know a little of the breed.There is no reason why the puppy will ever be on its own actually although I would have thought that realistically every owner leaves a dog sometimes even if it is just to go to the supermarket.

I think I just felt patronised and judged(which of course I was),I suppose partly because it seemed to me that she was making broad generalisations i.e.someone who works more than 3 hours a day,even if the dog isn't on its own during that period must by definition be irresponsible.

hatwoman Wed 28-Jan-09 22:33:35

Sounds like she's on another planet from most of us. I do know that kind of withering vibe you mean. find someone else.

Alambil Thu 29-Jan-09 03:18:26

It's GOOD for dogs to be left for some time... it doesn't harm them in any way!

A dog can be left for up to, well about 4 hours I think and then it'd need access to a comfort break; I know my mum sometimes has to leave her dogs for 7/8 hours but I'll go round and spend an hour with them in the middle so it's broken down (which your family could do, or employ a dog walker - not that you'd need to)

She seems a bit OTT on the whole issue IMO.

Try another breeder, or the Cocker Spaniel rescue people

nooka Thu 29-Jan-09 03:48:01

I think she doesn't live in the real world if she seriously thinks it is unusual for both people in a couple to be working. I would have thought that the reverse is true. I don't know about cockers, but springers have long adolescence and can be very naughty if left alone, so maybe it is a breed thing? We are thinking about a puppy and expect that it may be on it's own for a few hours every day in a few months time. We always had dogs when I was growing up, and my mother always worked at least part time. I don't think any of our dogs were permanently scarred by the experience...

Evenstar Thu 29-Jan-09 10:32:53

Of course people leave their dogs, I would move on from it and find another breeder even it means travelling further, good suggestion from LewisFan to try the rescue as well. Some of the breed rescues are now having to take in puppies as breeders are struggling to sell them in the current economic climate. I hope you manage to find one soon it will be a very lucky little pup in my opinion smile

hatwoman Thu 29-Jan-09 11:21:04

according to the breed profiles on (excellent source of info) cockers have a low propensity to seperation anxiety. but having said that the cocker we had had a very long adolescence - he was still being mistaken for a puppy when he was 8 years old! they certainly are bundles of energy. our cocker was left for whole days (I feel a bit bad about that now I look back - but there was nothing I could do about it - I had to go to school, and mum and db had to work....but I do now wonder if we should have got him at all...) mum's hours were irregular and term-time only though(supply teaching), anyway, as far as I know, he didn;t seem scarred - though, realistically, we don;t know if he whined and howled - we didn;t have neighbours close enough to complain

floaty Thu 29-Jan-09 13:29:32

Hatwoman,dis you have ahsow type or working cocker,I do think that the working cockers need a lot of time.Certainly our experience has been as a breed that they are Ok to be left for short periods and this is all it will be ,i think we will carry on but my confidence has definately been shaken

hatwoman Thu 29-Jan-09 13:47:44

he was show. He was mad as a bicycle but adored by everyone. I've never known a dog be so like a person. Once, when I was leaving to to back to university at the beginning of term, he got into the car and completely refused to get out. He clearly knew what was happening and didn't like it. and had decided to try to put a stop to it (or come with me - not sure which). They are fantastic dogs. (I lost out to a lab when we got our current dog - dh and dds wanted something bigger...)

don't let that breeder shake your confidence - I've just read your op again and you're clearly well prepared. Have you used the Kennel Club website to find another breeder? they generally have quite a few listed.

hippipotamiHasLostTwoPounds Thu 29-Jan-09 13:53:35

Try another breeder. Cockers are worth perservering for.
Our cocker is left for anythign up to 4 hours as and when I have to go to work. (exam invigilator so exam periods only) It is not a problem. He just snuggles up on the sofa and sleeps smile

3 hours, 3 times a week is fine. Absolutely fine.

Incicentally hatwoman, mad as a bicycle just about sums up my cocker grin
He is so much like a person, he has no idea he is a dog! (dh is convinced the dog thinks it is a wildebeest but that is another story)

Floaty - perservere. You sound well prepared and honest about what you are offering a pup. Try more breeders. We were turned down by 2 because our youngest child was only 2 and a half. We perservered, and eventually found a breeder who was happy with us once she has seen our youngest in action with her dogs.

floaty Thu 29-Jan-09 17:31:38

Thanks everyone ,feeling a bit more cheerful now ,my cocker used to let me feed him stones appparently and spit them out when I turned my back (I was only 18 months!)he also had a fantastic method of letting you know that he wanted a door opening;he would bump it with his rear end until someone opened up!

Hippipotami I think it was your breeder who turned us down...I hope we can find a dog who is as lovely as yours sounds!

floaty Thu 29-Jan-09 17:33:04

PS congrtats on the 2 pounds!

youknownothingofthecrunch Thu 29-Jan-09 17:39:17

We've got a working cocker type and she is perfect - soft and friendly with the dcs, playful and easily trained and not at all demanding. DS2 can sit on her and she keeps wagging. Couldn't have wished for a better dog.

She has an incredible nose: whilst walking on the moors she found 12 venture scouts who had clearly been instructed to hide as best they could in the undergrowth grin She bounced from one to the next - so very proud of herself. It was very funny. The kids love her.

newpup Thu 29-Jan-09 18:21:30

Everyone I know with a dog, including me leaves their dog for 3 hours or more on occasions.

I think that is quite acceptable for a dog, as long as they are left in a clean, dry place with access to fresh water and a few toys for company. I leave the radio on for my puppy. smile

hippipotamiHasLostTwoPounds Fri 30-Jan-09 19:56:59

Thanks floaty smile

Sorry to hear it was our breeder who turned you down sad She is a bit of a fruitloop though!
You will find a good breeder, don't give up!!

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