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I'm going to ring my Mum today and see if she wants my 5 year old labrador

(33 Posts)
MamaG Mon 14-Jul-08 07:05:30

she already has one and has offered to look after mine whilst I am heavily pg/coping with a newborn (DC3) but I have talked it over with DH and I think I'm just going to see if she wants him for good.

I love him to bits, we all do, but as DH works full time its always left to me to walk him - and its hard! I can just imagine doing with a pram and two children <shudder>

He has started waking up at 5-6 in the morning and wanting to be let out for a pee - ARGH I'm knackered and DH doesn't wake up! Mum's DH gets up at 5am anyway.

If we do give him to Mum we won't have to get a new car as all the baby stuff will fit in teh boot of our existing one, we were seriously going to have to get an estate just to fit dog & baby stuff in.

I feel like a cow. I feel like I'm abandoning him but I know he'd love it at their house. Big garden, long walks twice a day, somebody in all day ....

sarah293 Mon 14-Jul-08 07:34:48

Message withdrawn

piratecat Mon 14-Jul-08 07:38:48

Must be very hard for you, all angles of this i mean.

if you think everyone would benefit, and most importantly that YOU would, then I htink it's a very good idea.

Doggy would love it, by the sounds of it. At least you wuold see him.

I had to make a s imilar decision about a cat, and i felt awful, but I had to put dd first.

At least now you have got to that decision, and Iam sure it will work out.

MamaG Mon 14-Jul-08 08:23:38

Aw Riven I'm sure my Mum wouldn't give him away, she loves him as much as we do

PC - I feel very upset out it TBH, but I know we would all benefit really, but I'm not going to kid myself htat the children wouldn't find it a bit hard at first

EOM Mon 14-Jul-08 08:26:05

Oh, what a hard decision. I would be heartbroken if i had to give up one of my dogs. Not sure how I'm going to cope with DC3 on the way and 2 dogs, but life is meant to be hectic I suppose.

lucyellensmum Mon 14-Jul-08 08:32:28

MamaG go for it, your mum already has a playmate for him, he is used to your mum, i hate to say this, but he will probably be happier as he will get some peace and quiet. I think its a perfect solution - you can still take him out if your mother lives close enough, but when you can enjoy it. I battle to take my terrier out with DD but he is quite happy with a tear around the garden most days. I used to have a rottie and that was comical me trying to push bugaboo with one hand, hold on to extrovert rottie on the other grin.

The dog wont mind

MamaG Mon 14-Jul-08 08:34:21

LEM - she lives an hour and a half drive away shock but we do see each other regularly

EOM - I know life is meant to be hectic, but I'm out at work from 9-3 four days a week and DH is full time - I feel the dog is left on his own too much when he's been used to having someone around full time. It wasn't an easy decision, at all

windygalestoday Mon 14-Jul-08 08:36:29

I think you have to do whats right for the dog .....your not sending him away cos youve stopped loving him its entirely because you do love him,youre asking if he can live with part of your family he already knows where he will be very happy and where he is already familiar - this is not abandoning him this is doing whats best for him.

Phoenix Mon 14-Jul-08 08:51:26

MamaG - We re homed our 3 yr old Lhasa Apso a few month ago. He went to my friends parents and he is there dream dog they love him to bits. It was a hard decision to make but tbh i think we did the right thing.

Our reasons were - Our 2 yr ols ds just bothered him constantly and the dog wouldn't go near him if he could help it, he had nipped ds twice before too because ds had stood/sat on him. I'd go as far as to say he was scared of ds

Also dh works shifts and i work 1-7 every day so he was spending a lot of time home alone and we don't have a garden so couldn't just let him out it had to be a walk.

And he was terrified in the car, just used to shake and cry from the second he got in til the second he got out so we used to leave him home if we went anywhere because that seemed less cruel than him getting himself into such a state.

We are a much calmer household too. There is no shouting at ds to leave the dog alone and no shouting at the dog to leave ds alone.

We talked about it a lot and decided it was best for both him and us for him to live somewhere else. Ds has never bothered about him not been here either.

If its right for you and you can still see him regularly then go for it

EOM Mon 14-Jul-08 09:33:28

MamaG My comment about life being hectic wasn't directed at you. It was more directed at me, as your post made me stop and think for the first time about how I am going to cope with 3 DC under 5 and 2 mad dogs!

I know this must have been a heartbreaking decision for you. If you are working then yes, it is fairer on him to be rehomed. And you should hopefully be able to see him regularly.

MamaG Mon 14-Jul-08 11:09:29

I'm sorry if I snapped EOM, I'm feeling really emotional about the whole thing! Still haven't rung my Mum

LittleMissNorty Mon 14-Jul-08 11:13:31

Can you get a dog-walker? We've got one for our lab (from the days when I worked full time) and she takes him our for a run and swim every lunch-time and because of that, he's a much calmer dog.....DD loves him (too much sometimes - she's only 13 months) but he is happy to relax in another room / garden when she can't get to him.

WingsofaAngel Mon 14-Jul-08 11:17:54

Ring your Mum and talk it over with her.
It is a hard but at least you know where your dog will be.

MamaG Mon 14-Jul-08 11:30:57

I've just spoken to Mum

Now in floods of tears

She said of course she'd have him, but needs to double check with her DH - she's going to try to get hold of him now

I know exactly how you feel MamaG
I am in a similiar situation. However it took me 3 years to talk me dh into getting a dog. In the end I just went and got one.
Obviously didnt go down very well.
He now loves her to bits, and when I mention rehoming (only to family) he says
' oh she is ok,its just because your pregnant and tired'

I think you are making a very sensible decision.

MamaG Mon 14-Jul-08 11:44:19

i cant stop sobbing
got to be at DS's nursery BBQ in 45 mins

Chequers Mon 14-Jul-08 11:44:32

Message withdrawn

LilRedWhiskGers Mon 14-Jul-08 11:52:58

I think that you're making the right decision for your dog. Please try to dry your eyes and give him lots of cuddles.

windygalestoday Mon 14-Jul-08 12:01:13

mamag the dog is only going to your mums home hes not never going to see you again - if one of your children would be far happier living at your mums (perhaps not a good example but ...)and it was better for their health,wellbeing and happiness it would break your heart but sometimes loving means doing things you dont want to do.

Cod Mon 14-Jul-08 12:04:06

Message withdrawn

cheesesarnie Mon 14-Jul-08 12:04:44

sad mamag,must be such a hard thing to do.

MamaG Mon 14-Jul-08 15:17:29

Am calmer now

I went and laid on the bed with a cold flannel on my face, then got up, straightened my hair and piled on some slap - took my BIG sunglasses to hide behind, good tip! Oddly its bright and sunny here today hmm

I just have to keep telling myself its the right thing to do. I'm not going to shoot him fgs. Just must remember not to listen to "Old SHep" for a while

Thanks for the support

lucyellensmum Mon 14-Jul-08 16:32:47

och, i can't listen to "old shep" under any circumstances blush.

I think you are making totally the right decision actually. Why keep a dog that you feel you cannot give him what he needs yet you have the perfect home waiting for him with someone he already knows and trusts. Its not like you will never see him again or know what happened to him - i think you are being very "grown up" about it - i wish more pet owners were as realistic and selfless as you are.

We almost had to rehome our rottie MamaG as he was proving to be unsuitable around small children (rescuse dog and surprise pregnancy blush). Sadly the decision was taken out of our hands and he died. Probably the best thing for poor old Yazz though as he did have some pretty serious behavioural issues and would have been very unlikely to be rehomed We came to the decision to rehome him just before we found out he was sick, and like you, i was devestated but at the end of the day our children come first.

Your situation is slightly different however, yazz was a potential danger, your dog just needs someone with a bit more time. xxx

MamaG Tue 15-Jul-08 12:58:13


Managed to tell mate at work without bursting into tears, so some progress!

lucyellensmum Tue 15-Jul-08 15:43:04

indeed don't feel sad, its best all round and you still get to be in the dogs life, when you have time you can take him for walks etc. You are lucky your mum will take him - perfect solution all round.

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