Should I choose the cat or the house?

[merrygodream]

Hi everyone, new to mumsnet, hope you're all good!
I'm hoping I could get some feedback on my current dilema.

A quick summary of the background; I was a single mum to two autistic children for around 5 years, moved around alot, and for the last two years I found a lovely town to live in, my childrens needs were finally being met and theyre getting the support they need. I moved into the first property I could find relocating here, it's not the most ideal place to live but I made the most of it.
I got married this summer and as a family we feel its time to find a house.
We live on the second floor (the stairs are an arm killer with dragging up shopping - I also have fibromyalgia so this impacts my joints), its extremely cold in here all the time due to exposed brick features and stupidly highly ceilings (mill conversion). There is a mezzanine which is a hazard, my son tries to climb it from time to time. There is no gas in this building so as you can imagine living off tiny electric heaters and water heaters, my bills are becoming unmanageable. In the summer its not too bad but being in a valley in yorkshire its pretty much always cold and wet lol.
Outside situation is the worst due to being right next to a busy main road with very limited parking options. Having two children with very limited understanding of dangers, you can imagine how difficult it is for us to guarantee they are always safe when coming in and out.
Don't get me wrong it's a beautiful apartment and I think any couple would find this a good long term home, the rent isn't cheap so I'd like to be able to save a bit of money. There are alot of nuances to this situation but you get the general idea of the conditions.

I bought a kitten recently, shes 4 months now, the kids love having her but it was mostly to keep me company whilst they were at school and partner was at work. You've probably concluded what the issue is. I'm desperate to find a suitable home for my family, especially for my children. But majority of the places I have seen landlords are very strict when it comes to pets despite offering to pay a larger deposit etc.
I've been looking for a while now and I'm finding myself having to consider giving her away for a better home for my family. This doesnt make me feel like a good person at all.

If any of you could share any similar experiences or any words of advice or just love I would appreciate that!

Thankyou so much,
merrygodream x

[SpuriouserAndSpuriouser]

It’s maybe not ideal, but it does sound like you’re in a tricky situation and that your current house isn’t suitable for your family. If you need to rehome the cat I would do it via a shelter (so they can find someone suitable for her to go to) and I would do it sooner rather than later, just because a young cat will get snapped up quickly and older cats sometimes find it harder to get adopted. It doesn’t make you a bad person if you decide to rehome her but you need to go about it the right way.

[spacepyramid]

I would also rehome the kitten, if you find the right rescue they will find her a loving home and you can then find somewhere right for your family. Before rehoming though, is there a friend who could look after her on a temporary basis - a lot of landlords through agencies say no pets by default but then will allow one small pet if asked by tenants.

[Fr0g]

try and find a shelter that can take her, the poor little thing doesn't deserve to be be dumped on friends in a game of pass the parcel that you might choose to participate in at some point in the future. As a PP had suggested, a shelter will find it easier to rehome a kitten than an adult cat; they will also assess the suitability of potential adopters.

If she's four months old, you've had her 8 weeks, 10 max? Were the problems with your current home not apparent then?

[twinnywinny14]

Continue to search for a home that meets your needs putting your children first esp given their needs. If the home you find and decide on doesn’t allow pets then rehome if they won’t let you have the cat there

[merrygodream]

Thankyou for your replies!

Well the situation has always been apparent that this flat isn't a long term solution for my family. However, house hunting can take a very long time, I can easily find bottom of the barrel ones that do take pets but my children don't deserve that. I decided to get her hoping that something eventually will come up when I was in a better financial position to do so. I had been wanting one for years, and she is supporting my recovery in my mental health. She's really lovely for my children too. I really don't wish to give her away, she is amazing. And not having any support until now, it is now that I am finally able to fully consider moving, because it is extremely stressful trying to manage a move on your own with children like that.
I'm still holding out to find something suitable. But also taking the advise given here I am looking around for shelters aswell for the worst case scenario.

It's a tricky one when you're renting, as you can't possibly see the situation for the long term as much as you plan. I'll have to play it by ear and give it another couple months. Then depending on what's available I'll have to make the decision.

Thanks again,
Merrygodream x

[frostedviolets]

Or, you could just not mention the cat....
Chuck it outside at inspection time.

[Dollymixture22]

Poor little kitten. I often see very young animals up for rehoming and wonder what can possibly go wrong so quickly. Sounds like the kitten was an impulse buy.

But she is still young enough top to be rehomed. Phone some local shelters and ask about her chances of finding a good, permanent home.

And please don’t get any more pets.