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Pets

New kitten - have we made a mistake?

55 replies

C1239 · 22/10/2019 11:18

Hi ,

We collected our kitten at the weekend after thinking it through for many months. I have grown up with cats, I love animals, but this is the first time I’ve been responsible for properly owning a pet! It’s the first time my partners ever had a pet so we thought it through a lot. Maybe even overthought it!
We collected our kitten at the weekend and he is lovely... but I didn’t realise how full on it would be I don’t think and now I feel awful.. what if we have made a massive mistake.. he is 5 months old and super friendly.. but this morning he was awake at 5.30am crying really loudly in his room, I waited until 6.30 to go and give him breakfast because I thought it’s best to react straight away because I don’t want him to get into the routine of crying really early every morning.. I thought once he’d had some breakfast, litter tray changed etc he would be fine but he continued to cry for 3 hours until i had to leave for work, I held him or played with him... I feel awful because I don’t want him to be sad, I’m at work imagining he’s still at home crying but also I don’t want our lives to massively change.. and that sounds awful but I mean I feel I can’t get anything done at home atm because he is taking all my attention! He is such a lovely kitten I feel awful for having these doubts. What if we have made a big mistake. Is it normal to have these doubts?! Is it normal for him to take a little while to settle in then will he settle down?

OP posts:

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dementedpixie · 22/10/2019 12:25

Is noone at home with him? How long is he being left for? This why its sometimes good to get 2 at the same time as they keep each other company and entertain each other. He wont even have settled in properly yet and now he's on his own.

dementedpixie · 22/10/2019 12:25

What toys/equipment have you got for him to use when you are gone? Cat tree/scratching posts are good

YesItsMeIDontCare · 22/10/2019 12:26

It's only been a few days and a big change for him. Give him chance!

Chocolatecake12 · 22/10/2019 12:29

Make sure he’s got lots to keep him entertained. Boxes, scratch post, toys etc.
He’s probably just adjusting to his new life. Is there a possibility of getting another one so they’re company for each other?

chemenger · 22/10/2019 12:29

Is there no possibility of getting a second kitten to keep him company? He’s all alone all night then all day? He’s a baby, used, presumably, to being with his mum and siblings. Can’t you at least let him sleep with you? How could you bear to listen to him crying for an hour, do you have a completely stone heart?

FlyingSquid · 22/10/2019 12:29

Yep, big mistake, you need to give him to me instead.

FlyingSquid · 22/10/2019 12:32

Seriously, though, was he alone or with his litter before this (5 months is quite old for rehoming - 12 weeks is more typical)?

Has he got the same type of cat litter and food?

Is he being left alone for long?

I would definitely expect a settling -in period to be needed (and would expect to be up cuddling a lonely kitten for the first few nights rather than training it -- they get fed up of you soon enough as they grow).

C1239 · 22/10/2019 12:41

I think you are completely right ..maybe I should have taken some time off work for a settling on period. i feel awful now! I am off after tomorrow for the rest of the week so then I will be around more.
He is 5 months, we got him from a cats rescue where he had been taken in with his 3 brothers/sisters (not the mum). So far he has had our full attention when we have been home.
I feel horrible blaming him when it’s probably that I’ve got the settling in period all wrong!

OP posts:

SpoonBlender · 22/10/2019 12:44

Fraid you have indeed got the settling in wrong - they do need the company over the transition when it's what they're used to, although usually in a 'you sit over there and I'll explore' way. He'll be fine though.

Leaving a radio on while you're away may help.

Windydaysuponus · 22/10/2019 12:45

Can you go back and get a sibling? He is a baby and you have left him!! Yabu.

fartingrainbows · 22/10/2019 12:58

Are his siblings still available? Could you get one? I definitely find siblings easier than a single kitten as they keep each other company and entertain one another too.

FlyingSquid · 22/10/2019 13:28

OK, don't panic as he'll only have to struggle for a brief time in that case. Could be a lot worse for an ex-stray kitten. He's probably been used to a lot of attention while the rescue stepped up the socialising before they rehomed the litter.

Can you and any other family members visit him at lunchtime today/tomorrow, leave him chase toys and balls, and hide bits of kibble on his scratching post? Has he got a couple of high, comfy hidey holes and a view out of the window?

FlyingSquid · 22/10/2019 13:28

To judge from mine today, the best thing you could get him is a large house spider... sigh. Hours well, minutes of free entertainment.

Longtalljosie · 22/10/2019 13:35

New kittens are surprisingly hard work. I was really worried I’d done the wrong thing but luckily my boss told me I just needed to wait a couple of months and it would all turn round - it did. He’s now an old boy and it seems impossible he used to swing from the curtains...

PlasticPatty · 22/10/2019 13:35

Where's the photo?
You said 'New kitten'. I'm sorry, but that entails a responsibility to post photographs.
You don't have a kitten. You're making it up. I don't believe you.
I want to see this kitten.
I clicked on the thread specially...

Oh, he needs company, you know. He's a little fellow in a big world.

AriadneO · 22/10/2019 13:40

The OP seems a nice person and is asking for advice and willing to change her approach. Some PPs are being a bit harsh, especially the one saying YABU. This isn't AIBU!

C1239 · 22/10/2019 13:45

Thank you everyone all advise given is really true.. I think I should’ve planned his first few days with us a bit better.. I was just a bit surprised by the constant crying this morning and that’s what has made me wobble I think. I love cats and really want him to be happy with us , I just want to ensure I get the right balance between realising he is a kitten so looking after him especially when he is crying but also training now so he knows the routine when he is older?! I will try and attach a photo.

OP posts:

C1239 · 22/10/2019 13:46

Here is a photo.

New kitten - have we made a mistake?

OP posts:

PlasticPatty · 22/10/2019 13:51

Thank you!
Awww!

Themyscira · 22/10/2019 13:51

Aw what a cutie. I adopted a kitten a couple of years ago, but with her momma at the same time and she wasn't any trouble. Love hearing stories of kittens getting into scrapes!

theyoungishman · 22/10/2019 13:55

Hi there we are in a very similar situation- got our little kitten two weeks ago at four months old and she is home alone during the days when where at work.. but definitely gets lots of attention in the mornings before we leave and as soon as we get home in the evenings!
She's much more settled now then in the first week- I really wouldn't worry too much she will get used to it - getting a second cat isn't always an option and definitely wS not an option for us.
I also grew up with a cat but clearly didn't remember how needy the new kitten stage is.. it was a surprise for me as well!
Just plenty of cuddles and attention when you can and I'm sure it'll be fine

Lindy2 · 22/10/2019 13:56

He's lovely.

It will just take him a little while to settle.

Some cats would be fine to be left alone and actually might have preferred the peace and quiet of being alone for the first few days. It seems however, that you have a sociable boy who wanted to see you at 5.30am. It's great that you will have some time off soon so he will have company whilst he settles in.

Get lots of cat toys and I'm sure he will be ok soon. Mine likes to wake early but has learned to just sit quietly (and stare intently at me whilst I sleep) until it gets light. 😂

Will he have access to the outside when he has been with you a while. It sounds like he likes to be active. Garden access may well help.

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gamerchick · 22/10/2019 14:01

How long is he being left for?

Personally mine got fed from the start in the evening so stop those breakfast calls from the off. They sleep better with you I think. It's not really fair to leave them alone all day and all night shut away if that's what you're doing. He's still young.

It's not forever, they grow up and stop being so needy (or did in my case) then they just do their own thing.

Tohavefarted · 22/10/2019 14:03

Go and get another right away!

Tohavefarted · 22/10/2019 14:04

Honestly, is there a reason you can’t get another?

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