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I had to take our family rescue dog back to the rescue after 5 years

(130 Posts)
Rara123jam Sun 13-Oct-19 20:01:30

Sorry about the length of this I just need to get it out noone seems to understand how I am feeling .I took our dog back to the rescue last week after 5 years and I'm absolutely broken ! My kids ds (9) and dd(6) are coping so much better then me . I know I have done the right thing . Since becoming a single mum earlier this year and having to work, I just didnt have enough time for him anymore and he (fluffy) was on his own to much and wasnt getting enough attetion or walks.
I feel so guilty and worried for him. How scared he must be. He was my best friend like my 3rd child and my shadow when we were togethor. I miss him so much I'm so worried he will be left at the rescue without a new family for ages.
My friends think im overreacting and tell me I need to just get on with it. I dont really no what i want from this thread, I suppose just someone who understands and has any advice
But please no negativity I already feel rubbish enough 😭

Lovemusic33 Sun 13-Oct-19 20:08:04

I took a dog back to rescue after 3 years, similar circumstances, became a single mum and just couldn’t cope. I felt awful, the rescue made me feel awful too as his vaccines were a few months over due, he was a big dog and I was unable to take him to the vets on my own so his vaccines were overdue, I cried when I left him sad. It does get easier and you will feel less guilty, he will find a loving home x

Rara123jam Sun 13-Oct-19 20:22:38

@lovemusic33 they didnt even ask me anything about him. Whether he was vaccinated or not which he isn't..I hadn't even thought of that. same as you he is a big dog and I couldn't afford to take him to get his vaccines done. I haven't stopped crying keep thinking I can hear him and turn around and hes not there. I'm so glad I'm not alone thankyou x

Supersleuth21 Sun 13-Oct-19 20:27:45

Oh gosh isn’t there any other way? Could you afford a dog walker to pop by in the day? A member of family maybe? I feel so sad for you and him. Hopefully he’ll get a new family soon 😞

BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo Sun 13-Oct-19 20:35:47

Your dog would have been better being with you even if you had not much time to spend with him rather than being all alone in a kennel where he knows nothing or no one, he will be so scared, I don’t know how you could have done that, you don’t just give a dog up because you don’t have time, piss poor excuse and tough that you don’t want negativity. I really hope this is a wind up.

Wildorchidz Sun 13-Oct-19 20:37:16

The poor dog.

AmIAWeed Sun 13-Oct-19 20:42:34

If you can't afford his vaccines, you can't afford any other vet bills and I'm guessing insurance?
He may well be like a third child - however children are entitled to NHS support, school, benefits all things they need. A pet is a luxury that sadly you cannot afford nor provide the time he needs.

Animal lovers will often say you are wrong, but you need to do what's right for all of you and frankly he's better finding a home now than being put down because you can't afford vet bills.

This will be a grieving period though, it will always hurt but hopefully hurt less in time

mallow Sun 13-Oct-19 20:42:57

I'm not going to judge you as I assume that you must be desperate to make such a situation but my heart does break for your dog.
I can't imagine having g to do such a think.

What does worry me is that it gives your children the impression that pets are disposable items.
I work with families where this is very much the culture and it breaks my heart every time I see a new puppy/kitten/rabbit/etc added to the mix when I know that they will either be passed on (sometimes from family to family) or end up in rescue.

AtrociousCircumstance Sun 13-Oct-19 20:47:01

mallow it’s pretty heartless of you to say that under the circumstances. That’s exactly what’s torturing the OP but she simply cannot afford to keep him anymore.

ChardonnaysDistantCousin Sun 13-Oct-19 20:49:52

What makes you think he will get more attention and walk now?

Rara123jam Sun 13-Oct-19 20:51:49

@Supersleuth21 I tried asking everyone I knew if they could have him my family all have disabilities and couldn't handle him and I just couldn't afford a walker

ChardonnaysDistantCousin Sun 13-Oct-19 20:53:54

Well. what's done's done.

Hopefully he will get rehomed.

MyOtherProfile Sun 13-Oct-19 20:54:25

So sorry. That's really hard. You must have been really desperate. Hopefully he will find a lovely family and be very happy.

BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo Sun 13-Oct-19 20:56:07

The original post mentions nothing about not being able to afford to keep the dog anymore, it was due to apparently having no time....... hmm

ChardonnaysDistantCousin Sun 13-Oct-19 20:58:11

That poor dog though, how old is he?

Rara123jam Sun 13-Oct-19 20:58:35

thankyou @AtrociousCircumstance it really wasn't a easy decision to make but I no in the long run he will be better off maybe not straight away and that's what hurts the most

FoodWoes Sun 13-Oct-19 20:59:00

OP has gone from being a couple to single mum.

That means her work load has doubled.
Her worry has doubled.
Her money has halved
Her time has halved
Her parental responsibility has doubled.

The bills are now all hers to pay alone. The children after school and maybe weekend routines are for her alone to deal with.

She may be dealing with her kids playing up.

All that ONTOP of a relationship breakdown.

Then you make her feel shit for rehoming her dog? That she lived but can't cope with?

I'm sorry OP.

Hopefully he will get rehome quickly xx

BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo Sun 13-Oct-19 20:59:34

Dogs can stay in rescues for months or years if they have a no kill policy, it’s very hard to re home a dog particularly the large variety, people who assume the dog will find a lovely new home are deluded.

WhenYouCantRunYouCrawl Sun 13-Oct-19 20:59:36

You're very brave posting on here. It's pretty clear that you've made the right choice. Like a pp mentioned above, when circumstances change the government provide support for parents of children, but there is no such support for dogs. Unfortunately you're going to get a lot of judgy posters who have never known poverty jumping all over this. flowers for you OP.

Rara123jam Sun 13-Oct-19 20:59:37

@ he is 6

LaurieFairyCake Sun 13-Oct-19 20:59:56

I think it's implicit that you would have kept Fluffy if you'd been able to afford a walker.

Are you sure you've done the right thing? Is there nothing materially you could have given up to afford a dog walker.

I'm so sorry for you.

Curlysurprise Sun 13-Oct-19 21:00:28

Dear Rara,
I feel for you, that’s a tough decision.From the other side, we rehomed a beautiful dog from a woman in your position a couple of years ago, as a companion to my existing boy.
What a joy that dog has been. There is not a day that I am not grateful for the chance to look after such a happy , kind dog,
As heartbreaking as it was for the lady and her children, it was absolutely the right thing to do. Someone out there will be lucky enough to be in a position to look after your boy, and you will have brought them joy.
Big hugs xx

BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo Sun 13-Oct-19 21:00:33

Where does the OP mention she is living in poverty?

phenomenalcat Sun 13-Oct-19 21:02:20

It must have been a very hard decision for you and I'm sorry it was one you had to make. However just think on that dogs go in kennels all the time and are fine. He doesn't know you're not coming back at this point and I'm sure the rescue will look after him well until he finds a new family. It will be strange for him to go to a new home but he will soon settle in and be happy. Do they have a website you can keep an eye on to see when he is rehomed?

ChardonnaysDistantCousin Sun 13-Oct-19 21:02:36

I'm sorry for your big dog called Fluffy.

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