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Grief for pet and getting a new kitten for remaining cat

(8 Posts)
Candymay Fri 04-Oct-19 12:29:54

I am posting in the hope that I can get some advice. So thanks in advance for reading. I would be grateful to hear from any animal experts or vets who may be around. Also any other pet owner who has had this experience and can tell me what they did.

I lost one of my beloved cats recently- June this year. I am still very heartbroken and shocked and I am also worried for my remaining cat, his litter mate. He is almost 10 years old now and they had never been apart. I feel that my surviving cat is not the same now. He seems sad. Isn’t eating as well. His personality seems different. He used to be very pushy and dominant. He would have jumped up on the kitchen worktop to grab food and now he just sits on the floor. Last night I was cutting up chicken and I felt so upset that he wasn’t jumping up and trying to get it. (Obviously I never encouraged this before but now I feel so sad).

Somebody here on an earlier post of mine suggested that he may seem less greedy now because he is not competing for food and I think that could be a possibility.

I am still grieving but I am also worried about my cat’s grief. Would it be a good idea to get a kitten? Would it be more distressing or a comfort? I know that cats are very territorial so the last thing I want is to cause him anymore distress. Also I can’t really take a kitten into the home and then give him away if it doesn’t work out. Should I borrow a kitten for a day? (I don’t even know anyone who has one but I’m just thinking about possibilities). They are indoor cats so the home is really his only space.

The reason I’m thinking of a kitten is that I feel it would be less threatening for my cat than another grown cat in his home and could give him some company. Also someone for him to look after maybe?

Does anyone know anything about this? Anyone done the same?

My grief is still raw so I am keen not to rush into anything. I love my remaining cat very dearly and would only ever want to care for him and make his life happy.

I have children and we are all finding it difficult since our loss. My beautiful cat who died was incredibly special and important to us and I find it hard just to accept what has happened. He was very suddenly taken from us and it seems that he had a terrible cancer. I still get pangs of grief and disbelief that he is gone.

Also I just want to say here that I am very sorry for anyone else who has lost their pets. I find it too painful to read about other’s going through this so apologies if it’s upsetting.

Toddlerteaplease Wed 16-Oct-19 21:42:28

I had two sisters. When one died the other wasn't happy on her own so I adopted another adult of the same breed. I met her and thought she'd be just right. I put her down in her carrier in the hall. Magic cake for a sniff and I saw her visibly relax. New vat has really brought her out of her shell. And older cat is extremely protective of her.

Sallylondon Wed 16-Oct-19 21:59:01

Conversely we got a kitten as company for a bereaved 11yo cat and it made the last two or three years of her life a real misery, continually being attacked and jumped on (as kittens do). I therefore wouldn't rush into doing it again though concede it does depends on the personality of the individual animals.

Candymay Sat 02-Nov-19 17:14:13

Thank you so much both of you. It is just so difficult to know what the best thing to do is. My instinct is to leave him alone because I am so heartbroken and would really hate to cause him further distress. I am also not the type of person who could give a kitten away if it didn’t work out. I know cats love their own space so I worry that he would feel usurped or invaded even. I’m still feeling grief stricken.

Wolfiefan Sat 02-Nov-19 17:19:32

I’m so sorry for your loss. Instead of a kitten how about a rescue? A good rescue cab advise you on temperament and maybe allow you to foster with a view to adopt? Or allow you to take your cat in to meet in a meeting room?

Candymay Sat 02-Nov-19 18:59:07

@Wolfiefan yes that’s a good idea. The problem is that both rescue centres I know don’t allow adoption if you don’t have a garden. I’d love to rescue but I have no outdoor space. I’ll speak to them anyway. Thank you. I’m just so heartbroken.

Beamur Sat 02-Nov-19 19:08:45

We lost our beloved boy earlier this year and will be welcoming a pair of kittens soon. Not at all sure how our other cat will react. Tbh she seems quite happy with being a singleton but the humans are missing the other cat.
Decided to get a pair hoping they'll be more interested in playing with each other.

Wolfiefan Sat 02-Nov-19 20:05:59

Of course you are! You’ve lost a family member. How short sighted of rescues to say no cat can be rehomed unless it goes out. Mine wouldn’t cope with being kept in (They’re bloody nightmares!) but others are more than happy to be inside cats.

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