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Having to take rescue back to shelter, heartbroken:(

(33 Posts)
Kpea123 Fri 15-Feb-19 21:32:57

Hi all,

Three weeks ago I adopted a Romanian rescue dog. While she immediately took to me, she really didn’t like my 4yo DD and growled and barked at her every time she moved initially. After about a week she seemed to settle in and everything was more or less okay (except for the fact that she couldn’t be walked as she goes mad at the sight of other dogs and visitors are a no go, but I didn’t mind that. I was going to work through that).

She is still young, only six months old. So beautifully loving to me, but this morning she completely flipped on my daughter. It came out of nowhere and was so so so scary that it’s made me realise that I can’t take the risk of anything happening. My DD did nothing to incite, she was nowhere near the pup.

I’ve contacted the rescue who are having her back on Sunday. I’ve been crying all day as I’ve become attached to the dog and I honestly love her to bits, but I feel she needs a quieter home with no kids. I’m devestated though, but really wanted an opinion on how the rescue centre has dealt with the whole thing.

The first thing I asked when I was going through the adoption process was is the dog okay with cats and kids. I was told yes. The dog was rescued from Romania, spent two days at the rescue and then I picked her up. I specifically asked the same woman if that would be okay or was that too soon? Did she need more time! No, it’s fine ‘as long as you’ve paid the adoption fee’.

As soon as I pick her up she’s being aggressive with my daughter but the lady dismissed it and said she would be fine. This is my first rodeo, I assumed it may just be nerves from the dog. When we get her home and the issues continue after a few days, I ask the lady what I can do to help. She suggests allowing my daughter to be in charge of feeding duties to create a positive association.

I then spoke to another lady from the charity, who said not to do that as my daughter is too young. She also said that the dog was so nervous when she arrived to them that they shouldn’t have let her go so soon, ‘but you’ve got her now so we’ll have to deal with it’. This lady suggested I give the dog three natural calming tablets a day for at least a month. Again, the First Lady I spoke to said one a day for two days. There’s no consistency here.

And then today happened. I’ve had to ask my father to look after my daughter for the weekend until we can take the pup back on Sunday. While looking at the faq’s section of their website earlier, I noticed that there is a section saying no dogs will be placed with children under the age of 5, unless they are under 6 months. Mara was two days off 6 months. Bit close for my liking considering not an eyelid was batted when I was home checked.

When I spoke to the First Lady on the phone today, she said that they just don’t know how dogs will be in different environments. I totally appreciate that, but considering I was told that she was fine with cats and kids, wouldn’t it have been better to be honest then?

I was by no means expecting a perfectly behaved dog, I knew there was going to be work to do. However, I can’t help but feel that the rescue have acted a little irresponsibly, plus what with the conflicting advice it just seems like a recipe for disaster.

Now, I’m in a situation where I’m devestated, can’t stop crying and am having to bring a dog who had already been through so much, back to a rescue. I feel really bloody terrible. I can’t help but feel like this could’ve been avoided, and it makes me question things.

Am I being precious over this? What do you guys think?

JenniferJareau Sat 16-Feb-19 06:08:34

The rescue centre seems woefully inadequate here. No rescue centre I know of would rehome a dog without all the members of the family visiting to see if you are all a match.

It's also clear they were not adequately aware of the dogs temperament regarding other dogs and visitors. Sounds like they just wanted the fee and the dog gone as quickly as possible sad

youbethemummylion Sat 16-Feb-19 06:15:55

The dog is obvioualy not happy and doesnt like children. Letting it have the chance to be rehomed to a more suitable family is a kindness so dont feel bad. The rescue sound very irresponsible.

HollyBollyBooBoo Sat 16-Feb-19 06:23:04

You're doing absolutely the right thing. I say this as a massive life long dog lover - you cannot put a dog above your child.

LooseSeal2 Sat 16-Feb-19 06:28:03

My MIL had to do this and it broke her heart too. Dog became incredibly possessive of her immediately and growled/snapped at visiting grandchildren. She was told dog was fine with children but it turned out she’d never been around them. She brought her over from Spain via a charity so was a lot of £££ involved too.

Happygolucky009 Sat 16-Feb-19 06:31:17

I am deeply suspicious of these rescue charities, parting with cash for a pet creates an industry and I think individuals need to consider very carefully whether they want to support this type of venture. Please do lots of research before seeking a pet via a rescue charities / puppy farm and should you choose to go via this route again, involve your daughter in finding the right animal.

There is no way that the rescue centre could have fully assessed a dog in 2 days, yet you pursued this dog and invited it into your home alongside children. Sorry but I have only sympathy for the poor dog and hopes its next owner is more equip and better informed.

Kpea123 Sat 16-Feb-19 06:46:31

I did vet the charity, I looked at their reviews, spoke with adoptees and what I saw was a community of people with an overwhelming amount of happily placed families who frequently shared how pleased they were with their dogs/the support they were given. Believe me when I say this was not something I just jumped right into here, and I’m honestly shocked that you would imply, knowing only the above about the situation, that I’ve been careless.

The dog was rescued from the streets of Romania at 4 months and had been in a rescuers home in that country for the two months prior to coming over here, so when the rescue in this country assured me she was okay with kids and cats, I believed them in good faith as they are supposedly in close contact with them. There was absolutely no mention of any aggressive tendencies. When I went to pick her up, I asked twice beforehand if it was too soon to do so. I was told no. Perhaps I should’ve known better but I trusted the opinion of what I thought were reputable professionals. It only became clear that they didn’t know much about the animal at all after I had picked her up.

I do agree with you that the dog is the one to suffer most here and I’ve been awake all night agonising over it.

youbethemummylion Sat 16-Feb-19 06:51:26

Kpea123 whereabouts in the country are you? Our Romanian rescue came from a fab little charity that brings the dogs over first then matches with a family so you can be confident what you are getting.

Kpea123 Sat 16-Feb-19 06:55:01

It’s such a difficult thing isn’t it, as you trust the charities to give you the right advice. My aunt had a similar situation, where the rescue ended up biting her husband three times. She still tried to make it work but he ended up having to go back, the rescue centre rehabilitated him, kept him for six months and now he’s doing really well thankfully.

Kpea123 Sat 16-Feb-19 06:56:22

@youbethemummylion. We are in Wiltshire 😊

AJPTaylor Sat 16-Feb-19 06:58:44

There is a very good reason that many charities will not regime to families with small children. They should be ashamed of themselves.

BiteyShark Sat 16-Feb-19 07:16:17

6 months old and they can still be very bitey. They can also be heading into teenage stroppy phase at the same time (my puppy started at that age). And coupled with that it is a rescue who has spent its first few months of life being in different places and moved abroad. You have no idea what training, socialisation (or lack of it) and it's background and experiences.

I wouldn't have rehomed the dog and I have no young children. I know you did it in good faith but honestly I think this shows why you need to be extremely cautious of rehoming from charities like this. I am glad they are taking the dog back because I have seen threads on here saying they had been given the runaround from charities that rehome from abroad when they wanted to return the dog as being unsuitable.

RebeccaCloud9 Sat 16-Feb-19 07:20:55

We've just had a talk at work from a lady from Dog's Trust. So many things abbot your adoption process seem completely opposite to their rules, it makes your rescue centre seem v dodgy in comparison.

MarthasGinYard Sat 16-Feb-19 07:20:59

'The dog was rescued from Romania, spent two days at the rescue and then I picked her up. I specifically asked the same woman if that would be okay or was that too soon?'

Do you really need to ask?

They need reporting

Happygolucky009 Sat 16-Feb-19 07:22:24

"Pomeranians can be difficult to housetrain. Crate training is recommended. ... While Poms are good with children, they are not a good choice for very young or highly active children because of their small size. Never let your small children and your Pom play without supervision."

Rescue Pomeranian + young child = you needed to learn from this and not blame the rescue charity!

youbethemummylion Sat 16-Feb-19 07:31:30

Kpea123 too far away unfortunately but there are good rescues out there please dont be put off.

dontticklethetoad Sat 16-Feb-19 07:32:34

Happygolucky009 where does op say its a pomeranian?!

MarthasGinYard Sat 16-Feb-19 07:33:21

Didn't realise was a Pom?

DearTeddyRobinson Sat 16-Feb-19 07:35:49

@Happygolucky009 Romanian, not Pomeranian

Happygolucky009 Sat 16-Feb-19 07:37:46

My mistake, what dog is it kpea

MarthasGinYard Sat 16-Feb-19 07:38:43

Rom not Pom grin

BiteyShark Sat 16-Feb-19 07:39:51

Didn't see anywhere where it said the breed. And whilst I get frustrated at the inflexible criteria's set by a lot of uk rescues it is their job to make sure that dogs are matched to their owners so yes it's the rescues responsibility.

PenelopeFlintstone Sat 16-Feb-19 07:45:50

Rescue Pomeranian + young child = you needed to learn from this and not blame the rescue charity!

WhoWants2Know Sat 16-Feb-19 07:47:12

Romanian and other European rescues operate under completely different rules than UK rescues like Dogs Trust or RSPCA. So it's a lot easier for a family to rehome from them. Conditions over there are so bad, that the charities' top priority is really getting the dogs out before they are killed.

But still, this particular rescue that you used didn't do things properly. Usually the dogs that are rescued spend a period of time in a foster placement either before travelling over or when they arrive in the UK. That's where they can be assessed for their responsiveness to cats and children, etc.

Unfortunately, because of the level of trauma that Romanian rescue dogs experience during their early years, they often come over very stressed and require a lot of work to get them settled.

youbethemummylion Sat 16-Feb-19 09:20:54

If its a Romanian rescue its unlikely to be any particular breed most are proper old fashioned mongrels.

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