Please be gentle as this is a situation that I'm really struggling with. I really want what's best for our dog but financially we can only go so far and every time I make a decision my dh ends up saying something to change my mind.
We have a rescued Frenchie who is coming up for 10.5 years old. I think it's "time" but I'm worried about taking him to the vet. After his monthly premiums jumped to £400pcm (!!!) following various issues, we could no longer afford to pay for it. We stash money to one side for treatment just in case but whenever we go to the vet, the bills end up in the thousands, often with very little outcome/end result. He doesn't appear to be in any pain but I wouldn't say his quality of life is the very best nowadays.
When we got him he was 3 and had horrendous chronic ear problems right from the off. We didn't rescue him in the usual way but he was at a sort of halfway house for dogs with an elderly disabled lady. His ears were swollen shut, covered with sores and in a right old state. The woman basically said she was going to have him put him down if we didn't take him at the time. Dh immediately agreed to take him and he's been our beloved family pet ever since.
Since then he's had a number of operations to ease the ear problems (caused by mistreatment by his original owners) but they'll never be quite fixed. There's one more thing they suggested (total ear abolation or something) but, at this point now, I would hate for him to have to go under anaesthesia at his age.
He also has some spinal deformities as a result of backyard breeding that ended up with a trip costing several thousand to the Supervet when he was younger. That resulted in a prescription for Tramadol and rest (after a £5K bill).
Since we've had him he's had a good life with a lot of love and has gradually slowed down. He now sleeps all day, is almost completely deaf, is pretty incontinent now and we aren't entirely sure if it's incontinence or behavioural but he has pooh accidents on a daily basis over the last couple of weeks.
Because of this he has his own separate area from the kids which I hate but needs to be done.
He also no longer wants to walk anywhere. He will get halfway down the street and just sit and want to be carried home. He does however still eat and loves being stroked and cuddled. They adore him and when we do let them interact he loves them too.
In my heart I think it's time but because of the financial demands that a lot of these health issues come with I'm a bit apprehensive to go to the vet. Our last visit they basically said if we couldn't afford these costly tests that we should give him to a shelter instead and they would treat him. We managed to find the money and when they came back they were all totally clear. The vet then basically shrugged and got us to change his food (from one that was their recommendation initially) and his condition improved. So all in all cost us about £800 to literally change his food.
If I take him to the vets will they try and force us to do costly exploratory tests and procedures or will they listen to what we tell them about his quality of life? I'm scared they'll look at him and tell us he's fine.
I am definitely taking him to a different vet from the one we've used but I'm scared we'll end up with the choice of thousands of pounds of investigation that will lead nowhere again or being made to give him up where, because of his age, they'll euthanise him anyway. I'm so unsure at what to do now. 
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When do you know it's time?
slipnslide · 31/12/2018 15:07
Could the incontinence issues be related to the spinal problems? TBH a dog that’s incontinent and can’t walk isn’t a happy dog. Back pain is awful. Ear pain is too. And animals are really good at hiding the fact they’re in pain.
When we got to that stage with old girl I spoke to the vet. I always thought that PTS was to avoid suffering. He said it was about preserving dignity. She had none. Everything she enjoyed was now too painful or she hadn’t the energy to do anymore.
It’s not about the money. Given unlimited funds could he be “cured” and live a happy, energetic and pain free life? It really doesn’t sound like it.
I lost my beloved frenchie in October at 10.5. He had a lifetime of allergies and we nearly lost him earlier in the year to pancreatitis. We also couldn't afford to insure him past about age 4 when the premiums went up to £400 per month so have been paying as we went. I added up the vet fees for the last 3 years and we had spent over 5K on him (eye ulcers, growths on his paws, ears haematomas and his regular medicatation for his acute itching and skin allergies)
The in October he got very ill and we couldn't get a diagnosis - the vets thought it was a brain bleed and as he has had so many interventions over the last year gently suggested it was his time. It was a very hard decision to make, but he'd stopped eating and then drinking so I knew we had to do it. I still miss him but with hindsight it was the right thing to do.
Your vets are a business at the end of the day, they will literally throw suggestions at you and suggest loans to pay for the treatment. I was very upfront with my vet when they suggested the treatment package for the pancreatitis, it was £2k I explained that we weren't prepared to pay that as he was a. ill already and b. an elderly dog and asked for supportive therapies, which they gave us and he recovered.
You know your limits and sometimes they are financial - you could contact http://www.frenchbulldogrescuegb.co.uk as they are a greT charity that foster sick frenchies.
French-bulldogs are wonderful dogs but people don't appreciate the extent of their issues - whenever anyone admired my boy and said they wanted one I always said I hope you can afford the vets fees!
Hope you are ok OP 
Better a week too early than a day too late. I know it's a horrible decision, my family ddog had to be PTS after I left home, he was 17 , arthritic and blood but we'll in himself with pain control. Vet gently told my DM that it was time, he suspected that the pain medication wasn't enough any more. She did it through love and concern, as you will 
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