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doggie guilt trip - what would you do?

(21 Posts)
iris66 Sun 25-Feb-07 19:56:50

We have a wonderfully natured 7 yr old mongrel who is quite content to just sit in her bed most of the day but I increasingly feel that she needs a new home as we're not giving her the kind of life she deserves. I am torn. I love her to bits but, if I'm being honest, I have neither the time nor the inclination to walk her enough( I used to walk her loads but 1 yr old DS & Dh away alot have taken their toll)
and nobody else in the family (DH & 18yr old DD) seems to be arsed to take her out at all (despite me saying that if she doesn't get out more she'll need to be rehomed)and she is just vegging in her basket most of the time and looking very miserable. My dilema is, should I keep her in misery or put her up for adoption ????

NAB3 Sun 25-Feb-07 20:06:17


AlaskaDingo Sun 25-Feb-07 20:13:00

I'd get her rehomed tbh, and give her the chance of a better life

Dogs need walks and attention amongst other things, and if you can't offer this, then let her go to somebody/a family that can.

Not easy I know, but use a reputable shelter and you will know that she will be going to a good home where she is wanted.

Good luck.

iris66 Sun 25-Feb-07 20:23:08

Thanks for your responses. I feel like a pile of poo for even asking. I posed the question to DD tonight & she just burst into tears - Dh just did the whole jaw gritting thing like it wasn't even an issue, but it is -she is getting such a raw deal. I do love her but I can't give her what she needs & nobody else seems to care & she deserves so much better than we are giving her. ............sorry just needed to know I was doing the right thing by her. she's only 7 and an abasolute darling - I am a crap owner and will never have a pet again

iris66 Sun 25-Feb-07 20:25:42

BTW - I'm going to advertise her in our local vets and at the pound where we got her at 6 weeks (cringe) so hopefully she'll get a good home god how crap can you feel?????!!!!!!

hercules1 Sun 25-Feb-07 21:39:05

What about getting a dog walker? What about just going for one walk a day with ds in the pushchair? It seems really sad to do this to a 7 year old with no behavioural problems.

misc Sun 25-Feb-07 21:45:20

I'm with hercules on this one i'm afraid i know i'm not in your situation but if you could possibly try to enjoy walking her a bit more you might start to like it.

Walking my dog is one of the few times in the day me and ds2 get chance to chill out a bit and spend a nice time in the park.
Also it will be better in the summer when the weathers not so miserable.

Think your brave to admit she's not having the best time and good luck whatever you decide

iris66 Sun 25-Feb-07 21:57:50

oh hercules it is so sad - you have no idea how shite I feel - (and your name makes it so much worse - sorry can't expand) I'm just getting over PND and there are a whole host of other issues - I'd be giving the same advice if the shoe was on the other foot. i guess i'm just looking for some suppport for me being a cow. Strangely enough I've been pushing the dog snd baby together for the past few days because I feel so guilty. Oh bugger I don't know what to do now

misc Sun 25-Feb-07 22:10:51

could you maybe set a time limit of say a month and promise to walk her every day and see how you feel at the end of that time?
At least then if you feel the same you will know you tried your best.

Is there somewhere nice to walk her near you? maybe after a month you will bump into other dog owners and it could become a social time, bit of fresh air could maybe help with pnd too.

tell me to get lost if you think i'm being too pushy but you don't sound like you really want to get rid of her.

ratclare Mon 26-Feb-07 08:00:39

where are you ? maybe there is a mumsnetter nearby who might be able to help out a bit ,if she gets out for one really good walk a day then she might be quite happy with staying with you . Why cant your 18yr old help out with a bit of dog walking ?

WriggleJiggle Mon 26-Feb-07 22:39:30

I'd be happy to walk her if you're near. I have two, so one more wouldn't really make much difference.

Does she chase and return balls? When I don't have time for a 'proper walk' I take a tennis racquet and ball into the field for 20 mins. They love it.

Set yourself a target, something achievable and see how it goes for a week.

MummyPenguin Mon 26-Feb-07 22:52:02

I've got two dogs, a Lab who's nearly 4, and a Golden Retriever who's nearly 3. I've got three kids, 11, 8 and 7. I do understand what you're saying, iris, as I often feel pushed for time too, and feel guilty that my dogs don't get enough exercise. They do get out every day, usually for a long walk to school and back, and then a good run round the park/field too. They are both young though, and bositerous, and I can't help feeling that they need more exercise than that. I have thought about rehoming them, to someone who will give them loads of exercise, but I just can't do it, and I don't think they're getting that raw a deal with me. I think, if they were able to say what they wanted, they would choose to stay here, with a family they adore who give them as much exercise as they're able to, than be rehomed somewhere where they could run all day.

As hard as it sometimes is, mkae that extra effort, iris, get out more, even with your little one in the pushchair. You'll feel better for it (I'm not intending to be patronising.) You'll regret it if you rehome your dog. It is hard when the weather is like it has been lately, but the nicer weather is on it's way, and we'll all benefit then.

hotandbothered Mon 26-Feb-07 23:15:56

I agree with the later posts. Your dog is loved which is so much more than many other dogs get. Also don't rush into anything you may later regret. If you are in the midst of PND I wouldn't think that now was the best time to make such a big decision.
Also you may find you have more time and inclination when ds is a bit bigger and enjoys a longer walk with you. I know our dog got less exercise before dd was 2 but now she keeps up really well and is often the one who suggests a walk!
Invest in treats ball and put some of her dinner in that so she has to work to get her food - she will be stimulated in the house...

HandyTrinkett Tue 27-Feb-07 03:45:06

Listen to MPs advice! I've been neglecting my lab for the last 3 weeks or so while we've been running backwards and forwards to the hospital and then hovering over the little cute baby that's FINALLY stayed asleep without having to lie on either mine or DWs chest!

If you can't get out for a walk take hotandbothered's advice and try and stimulate her in the house - even just sitting and cuddling her or playing with her will be beneficial - to you as well (I'll come and sit and play with the dog if I'm working from home and stuck on a bit of code or feeling fed up - always helps!).

iris66 Tue 27-Feb-07 07:57:26

Thanks for the advice - it's comforting that I'm not the only one who feels guilty about not giving enough attention. Lack of sleep is a bit of an issue atm which isn't helping.

Had a long chat with DD last night and agreed to give it another 3 months. She's going to walk her and I'm going to push for DH to organise worming/vet trips better (the dog has a leaky anal gland problem - sorry if TMI - & has to be "done" every 5 weeks or so or the whole house stinks)

We'll see how things go. Thanks again for the advice

MummyPenguin Tue 27-Feb-07 09:21:12

Sounds like a good compromise, iris. I'm sure it will work out okay. Your DD is plenty old enough to do her share of the dog walking too!!

HandyTrinkett - tell me about the baby!! What did you have? Name, weight, gory birth story - details please! Congratulations to you both. My middle one would only sleep on my chest too at first, did so until I pretty much couldn't breathe, and then I had to knock it on the head. (The habit, not the baby )

I know you and I live near each other. Yell if you need a hand with the dog walking.

iris66 Tue 27-Feb-07 14:24:41

Do you know me then MummyPenguin?

MummyPenguin Tue 27-Feb-07 17:31:05

Oh, iris, were you referring to my comment 'yell if you need a hand with the dog walking' ? Sorry, that was directed at HandyTrinkett!! Although I don't mind walking your dog too if we do live near each other!

iris66 Tue 27-Feb-07 17:57:40

bless you - sorry for misinterpreting - I sort of like the anonymity on here & panicked a bit....

MummyPenguin Wed 28-Feb-07 09:23:19

Oh, that's okay, iris. I know what you mean about the anonymity! I had you going there, didn't I?

Wags Wed 28-Feb-07 09:49:23

Hi Iris66, sorry to hear about your problem with the dog. Glad you have decided to give it a go. I have got 2 DC and 2 Dalmatians and it is hard fitting everything in. When (DD my eldest) was 12m and I was back at work part time, I still walked the dogs after work, pitch black in the park with a not to happy DD in her buggy. It was getting far too stressful so I stopped doing it on the 2 days I worked. The dogs soon got used to it and I stopped feeling guilty. They still went out every morning with DH. What I am getting at is could you make a plan of action to walk your dog. Don't be over ambitious - at the moment something is better than nothing. So maybe start off trying to get the dog out maybe 3 times in the weekdays. Chuck DS in the buggy and go out - even if its only a quick walk. If weekends mean that your DH and DD are around more then make it their duty to help out then. If that worked it could mean the dog was getting out 5 days out of 7 but only 3 times that you have to make the effort.

Do you know of anyone else with dogs and kids - could you arrange to meet them to make it a bit more enjoyable? I live in SE London so if by chance you were nearby would be more than happy to meet for a dog walk with kids! My walks are bedlam as you can imagine. DD is 3.7, DS 22m and wanting to walk everywhere, but the upside is it gets the kids out of the house and they have so much fun. Its seems SUCH an effort some days but you feel so good when you have been out its worth it. Hope it goes well, just do it bit by bit.

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