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Final farewell to the longest relationship in my adult life.

(6 Posts)
finnmum Wed 27-Mar-13 15:55:40

Dear mumsnetters, my 16.5 year old little spaniel is not going to last for long, he is not in pain but deaf and almost blind he doesn't have much quality in his life anymore.
I have had animals all my life and had to make decisions when it is best for them to go, however this time I have too little girls 5 and 8 and their feelings to think about. And I am lost, thinking whether I should have my dog's ashes back home or let the vet who comes to home to take away his body and that would be the last time I "see" him(the girls would be at school). My husband tells me it would be good for the girls' sake to get the ashes back and have a little ceremony to scatter them, my mum however thinks it would just make us all to go through it twice and I should let the vet to take care of the cremating and not claim his ashes back. I have buried my other pets myself back in Finland and don't know how to feel about this. The thing I know is that it is going to be me who is going to be worst affected (and luckily so) as this little dog has been my constant shadow for all these years and our girls have a jolly golden retriever and a couple of bunnies so the house will not be empty of pets. So how can I possibly hold the composure if I have to carry the ashes to the forest! On the other hand I feel guilty if I leave my little dog to be thrown somewhere I don't know where when my other pets have proper burial places. But I try to tell myself he would not be there anymore.
Sorry this was long, I am in tears writing this even though we as a family have had a long time to prepare for this. I know nobody has answers but would really appreciate advice and experiences.
Thank you.

SecretLindtBunny Wed 27-Mar-13 16:04:53

Is there no chance of burying him where you live?

voituredepompier Wed 27-Mar-13 16:14:42

Do the best and hounourable thing for your dog. Get his ashes back and scatter them in his favourite place and then every time you go there his shadow will be walking alongside you.

Sorry that this is happening, I know how you feel, my dog is also my shadow.

finnmum Wed 27-Mar-13 16:24:49

SecretLindtBunny, I have no chance of burying him anywhere here. And somehow would feel worse about burying in his case as he never wanted to be alone and followed me everywhere unlike the other more independent dogs I have got before.

SecretLindtBunny Wed 27-Mar-13 16:30:33

When my old girl died we had her cremated and my mum has her ashes in a small wooden box in her room.

finnmum Wed 27-Mar-13 16:34:47

Voituredepompier, now you made me cry lol! That's a beautiful thought, he just didn't have any favourite place here in London rather than right next to me, I don't think I can manage to carry the ashes back to Finland. My husband tells me we should scatter the ashes in the Thames so "he is free" but is this all thinking that somehow it is important where the body is after dead, should I not be thinking his ashes would be buried with other loved pets.. Maybe I am just trying to ease the pain especially when the girls are there to see me crying. But you are right, it might come back to me.

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