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We need the annual "teachers' howlers in reports" thread...

(85 Posts)
UnquietDad Fri 03-Jul-09 20:37:50

I'll start off...

My DD apparently has "a flare for storytelling."

It would be useful to know where she is hiding this distress rocket. It might come in useful.

RustyBear Fri 03-Jul-09 20:45:28

We don't send out reports with howlers - but only because first I proof read them and then the head proof reads them - we haven't had a mistake get past both of us for years
But I do find that inevitably the sentences that have typos and punctuation errors are the ones encouraging the child to take more care to avoid silly mistakes...

My favourite this year was the boy who had a 'god eye for design'

Yurtgirl Fri 03-Jul-09 20:48:26

My dd apparently particularly enjoyed sports day - she wasnt there!
She is also confident in counting from 1-10 and beyond - she cannot count beyond 5

Oh well I am impressed that apparently she can teleport herself to other places whilst also appearing to be with me

UnquietDad Fri 03-Jul-09 20:49:21

Reminds me of my secondary school PE report: "Quiet progress."

MrsBadger Fri 03-Jul-09 20:52:06

I had a flare for music when I was at primary school

it's probably in her PE bag

MaryMotherOfCheeses Fri 03-Jul-09 20:53:56

It's the damning with faint praise I've enjoyed:

"DS enjoys singing and is broadly in tune"

Piffle Fri 03-Jul-09 20:56:28

" it is her writing that is most effected"

Goblinchild Fri 03-Jul-09 20:58:14

My son is doing reasonably well in French, with good attitude and behaviour grades.
He dropped it this time last year, perhaps his teacher hasn't noticed.

moondog Fri 03-Jul-09 21:00:32

LMAO Unquiet!!

duckyfuzz Fri 03-Jul-09 21:02:11

DT1's sentences are 'not also complete' hmm

RustyBear Fri 03-Jul-09 21:05:54

There was a teacher at DS's school who was notorious for giving everyone the grade 2B (which generally translates as "I don't remember who this child is")
One summer term, he gave it to every single child in the class, including the one who had moved to France at Christmas....

RosieMBanks Fri 03-Jul-09 22:14:23

My little brother was once described as 'carless at spelling'smile

Happypetal Sat 04-Jul-09 00:20:15

No no no no no?!!!!!

JackBauer Sat 04-Jul-09 00:24:11

I once got
'Does good work but need to be more involved in class'
for geography.
Which I had dropped the year before.

Numberfour Sat 04-Jul-09 08:01:31

one term i was "conscientious and diligent" and the next term i was "diligent and conscientious".

misshardbroom Sat 04-Jul-09 08:22:09

My DH still has every one of his school reports from 1973 onwards. He was 'sensible and cheerful' for 15 years.

[not sure when he turned into the bad-tempered bugger I have grown to know & love]

broccoliandchips Sat 04-Jul-09 08:56:57

Thanks everyone. Finishing writing my reports today so some good suggestions here wink

sassy Sat 04-Jul-09 09:01:18

My dd "needs to work on punctuating sentences". The next sentence of the report was missing a full stop.

Lol at flare

flatcapandpearls Sat 04-Jul-09 09:02:23

I had a restless night last night wondering if I had used the correct flair in my reports. grin

gingernutlover Sat 04-Jul-09 09:07:26

ours went out yesterday afternoon, so I expect the flood of parents next week LOL

shabster Sat 04-Jul-09 09:12:27

'Shabster is totally useless in all aspects of Mathmatics but remains cheerful and well mannered at all times' Oh I long for the 70's when you were allowed to say things like that!!

sassy Sat 04-Jul-09 09:21:49

Shabster - depends on the school. One of my colleagues just wrote about a Yr 12 boy who needs to buck his ideas up big style,"Failure will be his constant companion". grin

tkband3 Sat 04-Jul-09 09:25:39

At the end of my last term of art, before O levels "tkb has absolutely no talent whatsoever for this subject, but she tries hard and her liquorice allsorts drawing is coming along well" hmm grin

cornsilk Sat 04-Jul-09 09:47:18

LOL Unquiet Dad!

bigTillyMint Sat 04-Jul-09 09:53:54

LOL - what a good threadgrin

We haven't got ours yet, and I would be thrilled for DS to get a "DS enjoys singing and is broadly in tune" comment - excellent!

Numberfour, were they trying to say you were boring? wink

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