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Pedants' Therapy Centre

(94 Posts)
MrsThierryHenry Tue 01-Jul-08 22:27:52

It has been drawn to my attention that some of the MN pedants are afflicted with what may be diagnosed as a mild form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder when encountering loathed grammatical errors, abominable cliches and other linguistic misdemeanours.

In an effort to rehabilitate said sufferers I would like to announce the opening of the world's first Pedants' Therapy Centre.

Pedants are encouraged to open up about the emotional challenges they experience when exposed to linguistic anomalies, whilst other contributors may offer support and advice on how said pedants may relieve the anxiety and bring themselves to a place of psychological wholeness.

The Centre is now...open. First pedant?

MrsThierryHenry Wed 02-Jul-08 00:08:57

I see that the pedants are a little shy. Hmm...how can I remedy the situation? How about if I bring along a special guest? You might know him from somewhere...

Well, I was going to post a hunky pic but then saw this one and couldn't resist!

Aitch Wed 02-Jul-08 00:12:22

i was getting my legs waxed today and despite being in enormous pain i yelped 'you need to tell your boss that it's not spelled rejuvination...' at the bemused therapist.

help me.

MrsThierryHenry Wed 02-Jul-08 00:14:03

Aitch! I'm wetting myself over here.

I will come up with a suitable prescription for you in time.

<wipes back tears of joyous laughter>

Aitch Wed 02-Jul-08 00:17:26

turned out the poster cost the boss £300 ffs. and no-one bothered to spell check. shock

Quattrocento Wed 02-Jul-08 00:17:48

I got irate in Sainsburys over apostrophe-abuse - to the point of telling the harassed store manager.

Califrau Wed 02-Jul-08 00:26:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Califrau Wed 02-Jul-08 00:27:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Califrau Wed 02-Jul-08 00:33:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aitch Wed 02-Jul-08 00:43:00

somebody get that woman a drink!

MrsThierryHenry Wed 02-Jul-08 23:14:47

Aitch, Quattro and Cali. I feel your pain and yet I sense that there's a certain level of unresolved rage which is finding expression in instances of shocking and frankly ought-to-be-outlawed abuses of the English language.

While your rage is valid I feel that sublimation is the key, in order to help you discover a better 'you'. I therefore prescribe a daily dose of two squares of Green & Black's dark chocolate (extra dark if you can handle it) three times a day, plus four extra squares when you feel your heckles rising.

Not only will it distract, soothe the tongue and ease your anxiety, but the (I love this word) flavonoids will also assist with combatting those wretched antioxidants that we all know and dread, if glossy magazines are to be believed.

Let's review your progress in a month's time.

Best wishes,

The Doctor

Califrau Thu 03-Jul-08 17:07:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsThierryHenry Thu 03-Jul-08 22:43:36

<having small seizure at concept of living in a land filled only with candy bars and no real chocolate within 6,000+ miles>

Cali, I am SO sorry. It was truly thoughtless and insensitive of me, how could you possibly forgive me?

Let me revise your prescription:

a) One daily slice of Key Lime Pie (just about the only thing I liked when I was in the US...I realise that you may live 1000s of miles from Key Largo, in which case I'd say one large piece of your favourite food if available within the land of Yankeeville?)

b) As many extra portions as you like during times of heightened anxiety and when your lid is about to be flipped.

c) One daily episode of Scrubs/ Frasier or any other comedy show that you enjoy, which not only makes you laugh but also reminds you that it's not all bad.

Can I just share this quote, as I absolutely loved the use of the word 'delicacies' in this context. It comes from a google search for 'American food delicacies' (I was trying to help you find some treats on sale within the Land of Twang):

"You will find a wide variety of fast food restaurants serving all sorts of delicacies from American style hamburgers, hot dogs and fried chicken to Italian pizza, Mexican tacos, Greek Gyros and Chinese egg rolls."

Am I the only one PMSL at this?

mrsbabookaloo Thu 03-Jul-08 22:49:17

MrsTH: It's HACKLES that rise, honey: you've just induced a mild anxiety attack...or was that a subtle aversion therapy/reverse psychology thing (err... I'm more of an expert at spelling than therapy techniques, it seems)

And I'm sure there's an error in here somewhere, before anyone else points it out...

mrsbabookaloo Thu 03-Jul-08 22:51:04

Cali, the chocolate over there is so so bad. And crap biscuits cookies too.

MrsThierryHenry Thu 03-Jul-08 23:08:35

MrsB - AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(anyone else notice that grammatical gaffe? I'm mortified) <looks round furtively>

Califrau Thu 03-Jul-08 23:47:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gigglewitch Thu 03-Jul-08 23:50:42

can I come in please?

<in need of therapy since HR dep put grammatical errors in company job advert, in newspaper this morning. AND we work in Education shock>

MrsThierryHenry Mon 07-Jul-08 00:01:48

Of course you can join, giggle! Lie back on the sofa and tell us your woes. grin

Quattrocento Mon 07-Jul-08 00:10:09

No irony AND no chocolate? Surely the only solution for Cali is emigration?

Ellbell Mon 07-Jul-08 00:10:16

gigglewitch... Are you me? Our (also in education) Press Office drafted a press release about something going on in our department (important visitor type of thing) and it was so ungrammatical I had to ask them to rewrite it. Twice.

AAARGH!

(Can I have some chocolate now [pace Califrau]? Can I? Can I?)

thumbwitch Mon 07-Jul-08 00:20:23

peculiarly appropriate speller for this thread that drives me wild is when people write "complimentary therapy" and have it on their posters/leaflets etc. If you WORK in the field, at least learn to SPELL it!
(dietician also upsets me some - it is dietitian in the UK, check the BDA website)

I did upset some poor psychotherapist once by telling her that she had pyschotherapist on her be-yewtiful glossy leaflets...

Dodgy use of apostrophes (especially the grocer's variety) gets me worked up

misuse of infer, when people mean imply - you cannot infer something to me, you can only imply it. I can infer something from you, however.

but my all time incandescence-inducing speller is "loose" instead of "lose" - ARRRGH!

How many sessions do I need?

MrsThierryHenry Tue 08-Jul-08 23:54:29

Quatrro - I quite agree. Though if I'm guessing correctly, by her name, I'd say she's living in the luxurious lap of West Coast sunshine. Am I right? Surely a regular food parcel and DVDs of British TV shows should do the trick without forcing Cali to leave the land of the golden sun?

Thumb, I think they should offer the therapy as complimentary if they spell it incorrectly! Now, as for your treatment, it really depends on how much your intolerance of poor grammar and punctuation is affecting your life. On a scale of one to ten, where would you rank its impact on your relationships?

Ellbell - of course you can have some chocolate. (Califrau, please look away now). In case you didn't know, Sainsbury's has an offer at the mo on their So Organic 85% cocoa bar - it's about 69p! Okay, I casually wrote "about 69p", as if to imply (okay for you, thumbwitch?!) that I don't really know how much it costs - like hell, I buy four bars every time I'm in there!

Also Aldi do an (Italian?) 85% bar (bigger than Sains) for 59p. Oh my God I think I'm the one in need of therapy!

(Cali - you can open your eyes now. We've got to work out a way to post these choccy bars to you; I'm beginning to feel guilty!)

Ellbell Tue 08-Jul-08 23:58:55

So glad you came back MrsTH. I thought I had been judged and found unworthy of chocolate. shockwinkgrin

Ellbell Tue 08-Jul-08 23:59:39

PS Very impressed by your comprehensive knowledge of cheap sources of luxury chocolate.

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