[Swear deleted] - Fancy dress while hugely pg...

[MrsBadger]

So work, in their infinite wisdom, are organising a murder mystery party for our Christmas do.

I was quite looking forward to this as I do enjoy the odd bit of dressing up, and flatter myself I am not in bad shape considering dc2 is due in six weeks (neat bump and unusually generous cleavage).

There were hints that it might be either 1920s gangster or 1950s Hollywood themed, so with this in mind I was watching some rather luscious maternity evening dresses on Ebay, eg this one, which would have been fabulous for a Monroe-a-like starlet, or this one with long pearls for a flapper.

Now, however numbers have dictated that the theme will either be Victorian or Horsey.
[sigh]

Obv a certain amount will depend on which character I draw to play (if it is Madame Jojo the exotic dancer I will get that white dress) but I just cannot visualise anything Victorian that is compatible with a bump, let alone what the committee members of a riding club whose president has just been murdered should wear.

Clever ideas and sympathy will be received with thanks...

(and obv I have nothing in my wardrobe that fits except 2xjeans, 1xcombats and 7x dull maternity tops)

[SoupDragon]

Can you not go as Demi Moore from that infamous magazine cover? Not relevant to the theme but no costume required

[AitchTwoToTangOh]

god i can't think. they didn't call it confinement for nothing.

[morningpaper]

well I am trying to think of something helpful but really your OP makes me despair



Hmmm hunting. Could you perhaps be a ruddy great big fat round fox?

[Ceolas]

Sorry, I have no ideas but just wanted to express that you are due in 6 weeks. 'Tis definitely true - other people's pregnancies go much quicker than your own!

Good luck with the costume

[sassy]

get a white nightie, victorian stylee; and a shawl. Bobs yer uncle.

Posh women may have had to withdraw but the rest of them continued to be seen, work etc; and they wore long floaty frocks.

[AitchTwoToTangOh]

plus i don't really get the horsey thing. once again, pregnant women not advised to ride. this is not a party with you in mind, can't they change it?

[SoupDragon]

Actually, is the answer you were looking for "get the white dress and make it fit whatever character you are allocated" ?

[morningpaper]

Could you be a horse?

[sassy]

Oh and riding club, think the white-aired one from the 2 Fat Ladies. A pair of comfy trousers tucked into wellies, a man's jacket (Tweed would be ace) over a charity shop Blouse (nylon, with a tie neck ideally). Ooh and a tweed hat.

[morningpaper]

this would hide the bump

basically this is going to be your Worst Ever Party

[PerArduaAdSolInvictus]

Can you cross-dress for the night and go as a pot-bellied master of hounds? Nice red jacket, proper sideburns...

I suppose not. Feel for you.

[morningpaper]

could you carry this off?

[AitchTwoToTangOh]

ROFL mp.

so basically sassy wants you to go as whistler's mother. bring your own rocking chair.

[nevergoogledragonbutter]

Why don't you just go as Queen Victoria? She was always bloody pregnant and miserable about it too. 9 children?

[AitchTwoToTangOh]

lol.

[morningpaper]

If it is 'horsey', you could go as a bale of hay

[AitchTwoToTangOh]

www.bbc.co.uk/manchester/content/images/2008/07/16/mother_mary_joseph_203x152.jpg this kinda thing would cover up your condition and be quite scandalous at the reveal.

you should get them to change it.

[sassy]

I was just trying to be helpful.

Humph

[AitchTwoToTangOh]

hey i've just lost the style high ground, i suggested a pregnant nun costume.

[chegirlwithbellson]

Sorry for crashing but while we are on the subject - I am supposed to be a fairy at the work's christmas party on the 15th. I will be 23 + pg. I work at a Specialist Children's Centre.

Got wings and tiara and wand. Now getting a bit worried about the maternity fairy costume.

Any ideas?

Thanks

[nevergoogledragonbutter]

Queen Victoria would have made a great mumsnetter. Check these quotes out...

"The important thing is not what they think of me, but what I think of them."

"When I think of a merry, happy, free young girl and look at the ailing, aching state a young wife generally is doomed to which you can't deny is the penalty of marriage".

"An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed".

"I don't dislike babies, though I think very young ones rather disgusting."

[morningpaper]

chegirlwithbellson I think you will just have to go for some pointy ears and wings and hope for the best

[AitchTwoToTangOh]

ROFL db

and WHY didn't i know you were pg, chegirl?!

[sassy]

Lol at Queen Vic on mn

Bumsex? Good Lord! My ladies would never do anything so disgusting.

Breast v wetnurse

Pain relief in childbirth - never mind gas and air, just go for the chloroform

[MrsBadger]

you are all splendid and have made me laugh

The theme is rather non-negotiable - it'll either be this Victorian one or this horsey one

I do have a manky old Barbour lurking in the garage which would at least smell authentically horsey...

And if we do the other one I will take NGDB's advice and bag Queen Victoria - crown, sash, talced hair and perma-pout will cover a multitude of sartorial inaccuracies...