help! not many RSVPs to DS's (small)party

[soopermum1]

DS is having his 6th birthday party next week. I wanted to keep things small and simple (small house) so handed out 3 invites, 2 replied, one didn't. this was about 2 weeks ago. i put a note on the invites saying it was only a small party so could they RSVP as soon as they could and gave my mobile phone number. DS says boy has said he's coming, so I asked DS to just ask this boy to ask him mum to text me.nothing.

then, last friday sent out another invite to another boy. no reply. then, yesterday, sent out another to yet another boy.

do people turn up without RSVPing? or should I take i as a sign they're not coming?

School finished for half term now so no chance to send any more notes. I don't know their contact details.

Will DS be upset if only 2 boys come?

am I losing hope too quickly? party is next Wednesday.

If 2 boys come, what kind of activities can I plan for them?

As a child, my birthday was in school summer holidays so any parties or gathering were usually small and/or poorly attended. Am v nervous on DS's behalf but trying not to show it

[MrsDenning]

Some people do not RSVP and just turn up. Two children will be fine, relax, can't give advice on party games as not my thing but I am sure others will be on in a minute.
If it was my ds's party I would just let them get on with it and probably play with them and have a relaxed few hours. IME children make their own fun, have some nice food and you could have some games and acitivies planned so you can do some structured stuff.

[CristinaTheAstonishing]

Some people will turn up, the other 2 will definitely come. Have a couple of games planned (Frustration etc), let them play on the PS. DS is having a small b'day party at home tomorrow with only 4 others. They are older and we haven't planned anything structured for them.

BTW - I think you have to be more "pro-active" in phoning people to ask them for replies.

[dearprudence]

With a very small number you could do some baking, or make something crafty.

With regard to RSVPs, my experience is that many people simply don't answer until you chase them, or answer very late. I only know one mum who reguarly brings her child to parties having not replied, and I don't think this is common. BUT, there's still nearly a week to go, and the parents will have been occupied with end of term stuff. I bet you'll get some replies over the weekend, when people have a chance to think about their plans for the half term week.

As long as he has some guests and the day is special, your DS will be happy, I'm sure.

[MrsArchieTheInventor]

It's not unheard of for invitees to turn up without a positive RSVP but it's not the done thing, and if they do you might subtly say you weren't expecting them as you'd not had a reply. That said, as it's almost halloween and half term to boot, you could do a fab spooky ghostly party complete with ghosty decorations, apple bobbing and dead men's fingers!

[CristinaTheAstonishing]

"you might subtly say you weren't expecting them as you'd not had a reply" TBH I don't think this would be good. It would only make the other mums feel uncomfortable and unwelcome. Also the OP would in fact be half-expecting them (that's what we've been saying on here that some people do that). Especially with still v young ones or their first child, maybe not so au fait with the etiquette of party invitations.

[soopermum1]

thanks for all the suggestions, if the invitees do turn up without having rpelied I'm not going to say anything. I work full time so don't see the mums at the gates so no means of chasing them up. plus, i don't really know that many of them, and only know one of the mums of the invitees (one that has rpelied.)am trying to get to know more and turn up to as many 'event's as i can. maybe not knowing them has something to do with it as well. Tried to get DS to chase up his friends, but communication between 5/6 year old boys and their respective mums can be a little unclear. i've been told there's a list' that the mums compiled together with all their phone numbers on it, not being one of the schoolgate regulars i don't have access to the list but will maybe see if i can track it down through the few mums i do know.

[CristinaTheAstonishing]

Good luck, I hope all goes well. I work full-time too, so I know how it's like to feel a bit paranoid (IYSWIM) about the life that goes on w/o you (DS's friends all turned up today - but they are older and more likely to remember and hassle their parents into replying.)

[abra1d]

It's so annoying, isn't it?

I had this with my daughter's party. Turned out there was a clash with a classmate's party... We changed the date for reasons that had nothing to do with this (admin. error) and people began to RSVP...

[Millarkie]

We had a 6yr old's party last weekend. Invited 8, had 2 replies in good time, then nothing until 2 days before the party - then all but one replied (this was with me having given home phone number, mobile (for texting), and an email address to reply to). On the day they all turned up.
I am also never at the school to pick up etc and have found that some parents assume that they can 'catch you at the class door' to tell you hence the late replies. And some just reply late
I hope he has a lovely party. We found some simple things - balloons to pat about, musical bumps,musical statues and pass the parcel went down well.

[soopermum1]

still no replies am attending 10am mass tomorrow (usually go o 12 o'clock but the 10 o'clock is more populated with kids) to see if I can hunt any of them down, but will have to rely on DS pointing them out.

[chicaguapa]

I have the same problem. Only I've invited 14 children and have had 3 replies! And they don't go back to school until next Tuesday and the party's the Saturday after. So that leaves me with 4 days to plan. I've got to order footballs for party bags and sort out food. So I've no idea what to do.

Do people generally only reply to say they can't make it? And therefore CAN make it by default? It's a football party and I'm thinking that there's barely going to be enough for 5-a-side!!

[heavealot]

Instead of RSVP, I have taken to writing 'please tell my mum if you can come or not, by such-and-such date, her phone number is ....)'.

I think it makes it clear that I WANT TO KNOW IF YOU ARE COMING OR NOT, in a friendly way

I don't know if this is why I started doing this but another mum who is not from this country originally, did once ask me what RSVP stood for, and then, quite understandably said, 'so why do you write in french on your invitations?' and ever since I have thought there could be a correlation between writing an acronym in a foreign language and then wondering why people don't reply.

[chicaguapa]

I've often wondered whether people understand what RSVP means. These invites had a reply slip at the bottom which I thought was pretty clear that a reply was necessary. DS is in reception so no help at all with chasing up replies - completely hopeless!

[heavealot]

chicaguapa - looks like the timings against you, I'd guess people are going to let you know once school is back. I would assume that most will be coming, prob one ot two will say can't come for one reason or another, but does make it hard to plan doesn't it.

[cece]

This is why I tend to invite children who's parent I know! Had this in the past and it is difficult. TBH if they don't reply I tend to assume that they aren't coming.

[HellBent]

You'll need to be careful that some of the mums are chatting and find out they are 'back-up' invites two weeks later to make up numbers and not favourites. If this was me and my DS I'd be a bit annoyed! I listened to a dad at nursery last year coming in with a list and crossing of kids that had replied yes or no and asking for more names in full view of the other mums! He only had money for 10 kids at soft play apparently but didn't make friends for that, I felt sorry for the poor kid! I always just take my chances and invite more than I'd want as someone wil usually not make it.

[lilolilmanchester]

hope all goes well soopermum1. I just cannot believe that people think it's ok not to respond to an invitation. Yes, there will always be very valid reasons why people can't respond as a one-off, but there are also well know "serial offenders". I wonder why they think they don't need to respond?

[displayuntilbestbefore]

I actually think the smaller parties are the nicest. I doubt your ds will be too bothered about there not being a big group of children unless one of his closest freinds isn't coming. You have more time to focus on fun things without a crowd of kids and IME the invited children will also enjoy it more if they are a "select" few! BTW I totally agree with other comments about people who don't reply being out of order - unfortunately it's par for the course it seems.

[displayuntilbestbefore]

friends, sorry!

[soopermum1]

well, the 2 who replied were the only ones to show, but it was a small party anyway, i had only planned to invite 3 so the party was good and DS enjoyed himself. Let thm whack a pinata around, they played thw wii for a bit and then generally amused themselves playing hide and seek. Don't know what happened to the others, tried everything I could to see them/get their contact details to chase them up. Am just glad it's over for another year, which sounds terrible but i find it all really stressful.

[displayuntilbestbefore]

Glad it was a success!