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Party invites - can you ask for certain presents

(12 Posts)
HerHonesty Fri 14-Aug-09 14:26:04

dd has hundreds of toys due to recipient of handmedowns from cousins. every year i have been to said cousins parties and been slightly sickened with the amount of stuff they get.

dd doesnt have many books though and we love reading together.

is it totally outrageous to say something on invite ie no toys please, but books or donation to charity most welcome?

GrapefruitMoon Fri 14-Aug-09 14:30:05

Not really done I would think - if someone asks you for a suggestion as to what to get that's different. If he gets too many toys you can always put some away to recycle or you might even be able to exchange them for books if you know where they were bought

Fimbo Fri 14-Aug-09 14:31:46

Outrageous imho.

If you get too many toys, hand them into the childrens unit of your local hospital?

crokky Fri 14-Aug-09 14:33:26

I wouldn't mind receiving that on the invite, but people generally get really pissed at it. Don't do it, it will cause you more problems than it is worth. You can try exchanging toys at shops for books etc, or regift or give to charity shop etc. People will just talk about you so steer clear of writing this.

HerHonesty Fri 14-Aug-09 14:33:51

Thing that are in saleable condition get sold on ebay and proceeds go to alzheimers research. all else goes to local bumps and babies group.

seems silly for people to spend money on stuff, particularly in present climate.
so perhaps i should just say no presents?

Hangingbellyofbabylon Fri 14-Aug-09 14:37:54

I think no present would upset people as well, I know that for my dd's choosing and wrapping a little present is all part of the fun. I think it's one of those things,you accept the presents with good grace then decide how best to put them to use if you don't want them.

randomtask Fri 14-Aug-09 14:38:32

I wouldn't and believe me I feel your toy pain. DSS is 8, has three familys and lots of people who buy him presents as he's 'the boy whose Mum died' (including his grandmothers friends who don't see him from one year to the next which makes me angry that they don't make any real effort).

What we do is, if he hasn't opened the toy properly within 6 months I ask him if he's not interested and put them in the present box. I've also got rid of some into our local hospital play area (when they were appealing for toys) and also into my church creche.

I also make him go through his toys before birthdays and Christmas so he clears the space before the new presents arrive.

Another thing you could do is ebay them (subtley of course) and spend the money on books.

You could of course just mention in passing how much she loves reading too...

HerHonesty Fri 14-Aug-09 14:46:14

maybe we could have a "library" themed party.....

hangingbelly get your point re wrapping themselves but all her little friends are 1...

randomtask we are the same. well sort of. DD is grandaugher of a fireman who died in service so we get masses presents of people who worked with him who I have never met and i dont think my DH remembers half of them either. still it is pretty amazing that they do this in his memory.

i think i need to scrap this idea and work out a system to make sure DD knows just how lucky she is (and a system where our house doesnt look like a toyshop).

randomtask Fri 14-Aug-09 14:57:25

DSS didn't used to think he was lucky and (a little sadly perhaps) now seems to just be uninterested in most of his presents.

My family ask what he'd like so he's always very excited by what they get him, MIL and FIL always buy him a 'wow' present that he's bored of a week later (and I have no idea where to put a bloody 3 foot rocket) and his other Nanny tends to just get him a book and put some money in a bank for him. Then everybody else seems to have gone into a toy shop and said 'what would an 8 year old boy like' which isn't helpful as he's not a 'trend' type of boy. We had loads of Dr Who stuff last year and he's never watched it...

DSS doesn't understand value at all but definitely likes the fact people are interested in him.

My sister's IL's buy loads of presents for her children and my sister rotates them into the loft so she don't get bored. Ones they don't play with go to charity.

pagwatch Fri 14-Aug-09 15:04:32

Why don't you accept the presents with good grace and then either a) sell them on ebay on behalf of a charity or b) donate them imediately to a local hospice, hospital or SN unit.

I often phone and ask a parent if the child wants anything in particular and would be very happy to be told to give books or to donate to charity.

My DD has an over flowing bedroom but I have drawn a line now and worked the notion of charity and moderation into her psyche ( she is six). We regularly collect a bag of stuff in her room and take it to the charity shop and for a bag full of donations she is allowed to choose a book ( or handbag grin). After her birthday and christmas I watch those things she imediately leaps upon and others I put away for when she has a friend around or a rainy day.

Hope the party goes well

HerHonesty Fri 14-Aug-09 15:05:27

3 foot rockets... lol...

agree with you regarding attention. I take my nieces and nephews on trips to places each year, we've had fun along the way ourselves too. this year its the lion the witch and wardrobe at christmas.

gingernutlover Fri 14-Aug-09 16:07:32

i think it would come accross badly to actually write this on invites tbh.

BUT, certainly if anyone asks then say books and if you feel comfortable with telling close friends and family that you'd reallly like to get books then I dont think that would offend

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