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thank you notes after party

(16 Posts)
colie Thu 16-Jul-09 21:06:33

DD1 who is 7 was made to give out thank you notes to all who attended her party and obviously gave her cards/presents.

Does everyone else do this?

She has recently been to two parties and never received thank you notes. Not that I am miffed at not receiving them just wondered if it is not necessarily a done thing anymore.

moondog Thu 16-Jul-09 21:07:45

God, it's a bit much.Where does it stop? Do they then have to send thank you cards for the thank you cards?

blametheparents Thu 16-Jul-09 21:08:44

Yes, I always make DS send out thankyou cards.
It is good manners

Ceolas Thu 16-Jul-09 21:11:07

Mine always send thank you notes if people have given gifts that haven't been opened in the giver's presence and therefore been personally thanked. They hate it after the first 2 or 3, but I insist

Overmydeadbody Thu 16-Jul-09 21:22:14

DS writes thank you notes to anyone who has given him a present and to people we have visited and stayed with overnight, or people who have done something special or kind or generous for him.

I think it is a good habit for chldren to get in to, but am not miffed if other people don't do it as people have different ways of parenting and it is their choice whether or not to do thank you notes.

franch Thu 16-Jul-09 21:30:28

Yes we do this. Good lifelong habit, I agree. I don't particularly notice if others don't do it, I just think generally people like receiving them. Spreading a little happiness whenever you can is the theory

saintdobby Thu 16-Jul-09 22:35:27

I'd write, or, more likely, phone someone who gave me a present that I didn't say thanks for, if it came in the post for example.

I might ring someone to say thanks for coming to my party, but not usually, and I'd never give them a note.

I get the dcs to do exactly as I do,because I think that what I do is perfectly polite, why would it be different for them?

saintdobby Thu 16-Jul-09 22:38:19

So do you all send letters to people who give you a birthday present, even if you said thanks at the time? I don't know anyone who does that.
do I just mix with a lot of wrong people?grin

cat64 Thu 16-Jul-09 22:51:07

Message withdrawn

TheYearOfTheCat Thu 16-Jul-09 23:08:34

We do it, especially if the person wasn't thanked at the time.

IKnowWhoYouAre Thu 16-Jul-09 23:21:39

There's an article here about this. I like the policy of just sending a note to people you haven't thanked to their face.

franch Fri 17-Jul-09 08:46:03

Good link, IKWYA. I like the final statement: "I guess my children's manners are my business, and others can make their own choices." That's why I never notice whether I receive thankyous or not.

I do tend to send a thankyou to everyone, including those I/DDs have thanked to their faces - but mainly because I couldn't begin to remember who I've thanked and who I haven't

We tend to do present-opening when everyone's gone anyway, and I do think it's nice for people to at least know you know what they gave you, and it didn't just get tossed into a general pile of pink tat.

I also try and mention the present when I next see the person - "DD1 really loves that book you gave her - great choice" - or whatever. Many people go to a lot of trouble to choose an appropriate present and I like to show my appreciation for that.

The DDs are always picking up things and saying "So-and-so gave me that for my 4th birthday" or whatever - I think TY notes help us keep track of stuff like that and help the DDs appreciate what they're given.

colie Sat 18-Jul-09 16:04:16

I never made dd's do them before they started school as we all knew every child who attended pre school parties quite well so I personally thanked parents and made dd do so as well.

I would say dd has received some thank you notes from parties she has attended and some she has not.

When I have not had the determination to make dd sit down to write the notes at previous parties I have always tried to make a concerted effort to thank the parents for the presents after the event.

Though this year she was 7 and was entirely focused on having a party, mainly because of the extra presents she would get. I forced gently persuaded her to write 12 thank you notes in the vain hope of teaching her to be grateful. Hopefully this will have taught her a life lesson, have smaller parties then far less thank you notes. wink

colie Sat 18-Jul-09 16:07:09

saintdoddy, dd never thanked the children at the time of her party as she was too busy playing and sometimes the children and or parent, didn't directly hand the present to her. Since she didn't get a chance to say thank you for the present then she has to send a thank you note.

tearinghairout Sat 18-Jul-09 16:29:19

I wouldn't send a thank-you note for a party, because you thank them as you leave, but might mention it next time I saw them 'Loved your party...'

However, I do insist that the dch write notes to thank for presents, because in the general chaos of a party the givers are not thanked properly, also often the person who actually paid (the parent) isn't there when the present is opened.

Also we send notes to relatives, even if they are thanked at the time, because they have spent money/time choosing and always appreciate a letter. The older ones expect it, as good manners.

I hate it if I've spent a lot of time & money on my neice/nephew's presnet & get no acknowledgement. It could be a phonecall/email from the parent, not necessarily a note.

One thing I've noticed with my SIL is when I go to her house, my presents to her are on display. She might well have them hidden all year & get them out when she knows I'm coming, but it still shows she remembers what I bought her, and appears to be using/appreciating it.

FritesMenthe Sat 18-Jul-09 16:31:58

I do because it's good manners. Having said that, most people don't and that doesn't bother me.

The thank you note is usually a photo of the party guests with the recipient in it.

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