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Is it bad form to ask people to bring their own meat and drink to bbq???

(14 Posts)
NumberFour Wed 15-Oct-08 14:13:02

We are having a soft play party on Saturday morning for our DS and then are having just a handful of people over to ours afterwards for a bbq (crossed fingers for weather!).

The whole day is going to cost a bit as it is and seeing that the soft play is the actual party, do you think it would be okay to ask those staying after to bring their own? One family is already happy with that but we have not raised it with the other one yet - and that happens to be my BIL! OH is leaving it up to me to ask them!! We are not THAT close.

The worst that could happen if we do ask them I suppose is that they think we're cheap - which is not the case, we are just a little short this month after the birthday and the soft play party. Not sure what to do....

Rubyrubyruby Wed 15-Oct-08 14:13:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MerlinsBeard Wed 15-Oct-08 14:14:44

i would expect meat to be provided tbh

Sparkletastic Wed 15-Oct-08 14:16:33

Blimey you're an optimist with this weather grin. I think acceptable to ask folk to bring a bottle but a tad DIY to ask them to bring food too - can't you just get a shed-load of cheapo burgers and sausages? What will you do if weather is rubbish?

Flamesparrow Wed 15-Oct-08 14:16:58

Meat is normally provided, but we have asked before. My stepsisters also did one once at £x a head - the friends had no problem with it.

mosschops30 Wed 15-Oct-08 14:18:29

Are you providing food at the party as well??

TBH i think a few bangers and burgers wont cost you a fortune, expecting people to bring wine or beer is fine.

If you cant afford it why are you having a party after the party?

compo Wed 15-Oct-08 14:18:39

I would say a bottle or a pudding and hope that people bring both grin Meat a bit tricky to take to a softplay place and then back to yours surely?!!

dustystar Wed 15-Oct-08 14:18:43

Personally i can't see why its a problem. I've been to parties before where i've brought a plate of food.

Kbear Wed 15-Oct-08 14:20:44

If you think they might be miffed at being asked then they probably will be IYSWIM!! Some people won't mind, some people will think it's a bit of a cheek - be prepared for that!

NumberFour Wed 15-Oct-08 14:20:58

Thanks for the replies!
Yes, I tend to agree about the meat issue. Seems like it is not really on to ask people to do that. Thanks! The other thing that made me uncomfortable asking the BIL to do that is that they always provide a full meal when we are at the odd ocassion at theirs.

As for the weather, Sparkle, you're right! We are keeping a close eye on it and so far the prediction is partly cloudy. DH said bbq regardless so it is up to him to get a golfing umbrella or gazebo. Worst comes to worst, I will do some grilling.

Okay, so everything will be provided and I will feel happier and less self conscious!!

Thanks.

NumberFour Wed 15-Oct-08 14:21:12

Thanks for the replies!
Yes, I tend to agree about the meat issue. Seems like it is not really on to ask people to do that. Thanks! The other thing that made me uncomfortable asking the BIL to do that is that they always provide a full meal when we are at the odd ocassion at theirs.

As for the weather, Sparkle, you're right! We are keeping a close eye on it and so far the prediction is partly cloudy. DH said bbq regardless so it is up to him to get a golfing umbrella or gazebo. Worst comes to worst, I will do some grilling.

Okay, so everything will be provided and I will feel happier and less self conscious!!

Thanks.

NumberFour Wed 15-Oct-08 14:24:45

good point re keeping meat fresh, compo!

decision made thanks to all your replies! I will provide the grub and suggest a bottle or two if anyone asks what to bring.

reason why we are having lunch at home afterwards, mosschops30, is because BIL and fam are about an hour and a half away. Other family coming is DH's work partner.

Now that i am no longer worried about this, I am REALLY looking forward to it!

Onlyaphase Wed 15-Oct-08 14:25:27

Maybe you could comprimise and say that you will be providing sausages and burgers for the BBQ, but if anyone feels like they might want steak or monkfish kebabs etc then please feel free to bring them. At least then people will know what is being provided and have the opportunity to bring something else if they are feeling flush.

NumberFour Wed 15-Oct-08 14:29:05

Brilliant idea, Onlyaphase. Thanks!

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