Child's Party Etiquette Dilemma

[PartyProblem]

Name changed, tablecloths, pouch of douglas, etc etc. (Changed for fear of being spotted.)

Right, so ... DS1 is in Y2. On Friday after school, he was hassling me to go check the cubbyholes, as the invite for his friend Bob's party was there, and the party is Saturday. I thought 'ok, clearly this is wrong, the party will be another weekend'.

Being lazy, I went and asked Bob's parents 'is Bob's party tomorrow?'.

They said, 'no, it's Sunday. But DS1 isn't invited, it's a Boston Celtic's party, so Bob only invited the Celtic's fans' (DS1 supports another team.) I was a teeny tiny bit (afaik, DS1 and Bob are pretty good mates). They said they had loads of extra room, and he was welcome to come, and she would email me the details.

I don't remember if DS1 was in earshot, but he certainly believes he's welcome to go.

The mum has since emailed and phoned me, to give details and invite DS1.

I'm worried that they have planned/budgeted for a set number of kids, and DS1 coming will throw that out. Then again, maybe some kids said no?

Writing all this down, I'm now thinking I need to call the mum and confirm, again, outside the playground, that it's ok for DS1 to go - I can always claim to him that we can't make it, to save face ...

What would Mumsnet do?

[lilymolly]

oh is it that complicated when our dc get older I have got all that to come to.

However, if it where me......I would contact the lady and ask if she is sure it is ok for ds to attend and that it is not putting her out.
You will be able to tell from the tone of her voice and answer what she thinks

Sounds to me like she is being very resonable and nice.

[PartyProblem]

Oh, she is being very reasonable and nice, this is totally not her fault, it's mine for assuming DS1 would be invited.

We always just do big scrums, no excluding anyone - but as they're doing an outing to where the Boston Celtics (this detail, like many others, has been changed) play, taking the whole class would be insane.

[geordieminx]

if she has emailed and phoned you then there is obviously no problem with your ds going.

[PartyProblem]

I was sorta thinking that, geordieminx. I wish I'd caught the phone call in time, because I could have gone from tone of voice there. It would have been fairly easy for her to not call or email, or to do it late today, rather than yesterday afternoon ...

[PartyProblem]

The email was very much 'here is DS1's invite' rather than anything more begrudging.

[geordieminx]

I'm sure it will be fine

Hope your ds has a nice time.

Will keep an eye on the AIBU threads later " to be pissed that some woman invited her ds to my ds's birthday"

Only kidding

[cornsilk]

It'll be fine. Send him with a nice pressie.

[PartyProblem]

Now she's sent me a text, hoping the email got through, and looking forward to seeing us tomorrow.

Poor woman, I totally understand the need to limit numbers.

I sent a text back saying thanks, yes, we got it, and sorry for misunderstanding things yesterday, and thanks for being so flexible and accommodating. (Worried a bit it might have sounded sarcky or mean ...)

He'll go. Must find a present!

[PartyProblem]

(I had to answer the text, for fear we'd start getting carrier pigeons, or telegraphs or something next!)