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Party invitation - shall I take the moral high ground?

(26 Posts)
Pamina3 Fri 18-Feb-05 09:10:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Evesmama Fri 18-Feb-05 09:13:08

i would invite the child if your little one is friends with them..you may find she has a genuine reason for not inviting you????

Cod Fri 18-Feb-05 09:13:32

Message withdrawn

WideWebWitch Fri 18-Feb-05 09:14:27

I wouldn't invite her since it's up to you who goes this year. But I do have a spiteful streak!

LGJ Fri 18-Feb-05 09:14:47

Don't stoop, it is not about you it is about the children, DD doesn't have any issues so why should you ??

milge Fri 18-Feb-05 09:15:49

I'd hand her the invitation too, and be almost Bree-esque about it too. Look her straight in the eye and watch her squirm.

JoolsToo Fri 18-Feb-05 09:19:18

absolutely - rise above her and be nice as apple pie, and of course if your dd really wants her friend to come I think she should.

WideWebWitch Fri 18-Feb-05 09:20:50

I like the Bree suggestion! If your dd wants her dd to come then I suppose <sigh> you should invite her. I bow to the majority, they're right of course, the view is better from the moral high ground.

ImuststopdrinkingBlossomhill Fri 18-Feb-05 09:22:42

My gut instinct would be to not invite. I mean if they haven't invited your dd then why should you go to the trouble.
Saying that ds wasn't invited to a friend of his (he is 7) and when we wrote his invitations out he said he wanted ** and he didn't care about not going to his. So through gritted teeth I invited hima nd he didn't turn up!

JoolsToo Fri 18-Feb-05 09:25:07

Bloss - that's terrible and what makes it so horrible is that it's obviously the parents who didn't allow him to go which is completely out of order

Just shows you that kids can teach us a thing or too!

morningpaper Fri 18-Feb-05 09:25:57

I'm shocked that people are recommending stooping to this level!

And maybe it was a genuine mistake, or a very small party. Or maybe your daughter isn't really friends with this person, or maybe she's not as nice as you like to think!

Don't drag your children into your feuds.

JoolsToo Fri 18-Feb-05 09:26:35

mp - ?

ImuststopdrinkingBlossomhill Fri 18-Feb-05 09:27:17

Jools - I know. That's why I am not having another big party next year. far too stressful and it all gets a bit much. I mean I gave a boy that was on holiday when the teacher gave them out an invitation when he got back. This other boy came up and said I wasn't invited. I felt awful but ds said well I don't play with him mum.
Just find the whole who to invite soooo stressful.

misdee Fri 18-Feb-05 09:27:55

invite the kid. its your dd's party, not yours.

ImuststopdrinkingBlossomhill Fri 18-Feb-05 09:28:08

Mp - I said my gut instinct would be to not invite. However did invite ds's friend.

JoolsToo Fri 18-Feb-05 09:30:04

oh dear! - you're right! from what I've seen on some threads about kids parties - even tiny kids - it all sounds like a nightmare to me just the opposite to what it should be!

morningpaper Fri 18-Feb-05 09:32:20

Wasn't having a go at anyone in particular Blossom - just surprised that ANYONE could think that not inviting should even be considered!

(I have to confess that I spent my whole childhood having my mother use me as a tool for various feuds - and still does! - only LAST WEEK she was saying "Oooh so-and-so's been invited to your cousin's Christening and you haven't..." - and we are all nearly middle-aged FGS! Life is just too short to even REMEMBER these kinds of 'slights'.)

morningpaper Fri 18-Feb-05 09:32:58

Last year I totally FORGOT to invite one of dd's riends to a party - I was mortified.

Pamina3 Fri 18-Feb-05 09:37:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lunavix Fri 18-Feb-05 09:39:56

I'd invite the other child - after all, its your childs party not yours, and if you think they are friends...

However, I do have a spiteful streak, and if the other child came, one day I'd mention in passing to the mother 'so when's .... birthday?' or 'what are you doing for ..... this year' maybe acting like you forgot when it was. See what she says!

tigermoth Fri 18-Feb-05 21:11:02

pamina, are you absolutely sure your dd is not being invited to this girl's party? could she have lost the invite be any remote chance?

The other thing is, the party might be big but if friends outside nursery have been invited, the mother might need to limit the number of nursery children she's inviting.

I too have been in a position where I have invited my sons' friends without reciprocal invites back, even when the parents are very good friends. It happens nearly every year. Amazed my teeth are still here, the amount of gritting they have suffered.

batters Fri 18-Feb-05 21:21:23

sorry mp, don't understand part of your posting "maybe she's not as nice as you like to think"? Who do you mean? I can't see anything in pamina's post discussing the niceness of anyone.

Pamina, good on you for not taking this personally, I bet the other mother does accept!

WestCountryLass Fri 18-Feb-05 22:11:42

I would invite them as I like to try and maintain the moral high ground as much as it kills me

PuffTheMagicDragon Fri 18-Feb-05 22:14:47

Invite the child and be utterly serene about it .

Pamina3 Fri 18-Feb-05 22:16:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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