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Party invites, WWYD?

(22 Posts)
Ceolas Sat 23-Aug-08 09:13:49

DD's 7th birthday party at pottery cafe. £10 a head so I'm trying to limit numbers.

There are 12 girls in her class. We have 5 must-invite cousins and a non-school friend too. Also have 3 children of my own (and a baby but she'll not be painting!).

DD wants to invite 7 girls from the class. Including her that would mean 4 not invited. I can't really afford to invite them along too.

Is that really mean? hmm

AbbaFan Sat 23-Aug-08 09:17:20

I have an 8 y/o and it's quite common here, that around that age you just invite a few of some of your close friends.

WideWebWitch Sat 23-Aug-08 09:23:19

Could you:

Do it somewhere else and provide the pottery stuff yourself, making it MUCH cheaper and therefore letting her invite everyone she wants to invite?

Do pottery for school friends plus one and another birthday tea for the cousins?

Phone the pottery cafe and haggle, see if you can get it for a reasonable price with everyone attending?

Phone ANOTHER pottery place and explain your dilemma?

Do a cheaper package at pottery place (don't know what their deal is) where you do painting but no tea or whatever?

Ceolas Sat 23-Aug-08 09:29:34

Some good suggestions, www.

Place is booked and is the only one around. Only party package is £10. They do a small animal or tile.

Could maybe do painting only but what about cake? Can't get everyone back here without asking parents to transport...

Can I haggle? Never thought about it. Am a bit of a wimp in that dept! blush

DaisySteiner Sat 23-Aug-08 09:34:36

We've done the pottery painting ourselves beforeat home, it's fine and loads cheaper.

Why are the cousins 'must-invite'? Seems a bit hard on your purse!

WideWebWitch Sat 23-Aug-08 09:36:48

How big is your house? Could you do pottery there? Blimey, I reckon it'd come in at about £2 a head WITH food!

Or is there a local village hall you could hire, they're usually v cheap (£10 for 2 hours you could do food there too and still paint and do the whole lot for about £30) OR somewhere a local playgroup uses? You could negotiate for some paints as well then. Or maybe you need special pottery paints, I don't know.

Look at this pottery painting set

LIZS Sat 23-Aug-08 09:51:14

Was going to do similar (had a thread about it) but it was min £10.95 per head for at least 8 before food. Does anyone have any specific recommendations as to how to do it at home and how much stuff I'd need ? Like that set WWW but not sure how many would be required or what blanks to use, can it be ordinary white plates or bowls ?

Ceolas Sat 23-Aug-08 09:51:47

House is definitely not big enough to have them all here.

Why are cousins must-invite? I don't know. It's just the way we've always done it hmm

In saying that, one family does parties, the other doesn't so we've never been invited there (apart from a small birthday tea at home).

It's a bloody minefiend this party lark.

I'm guessing from the sentiments, it wouldn't be on tp invite 7 and not invite 4?

DaisySteiner Sat 23-Aug-08 10:09:20

No, I think it would be OK to not invite 4 of them, it's not as though you're inviting the whole class except for them.

I'm just a cheap-skate and would rather do it myself and save money grin

I think with the cousins, unless your dd really wants them there, I'd be wanting to make a break at this stage just so it didn't become a proper family rule that they Must Be Invited as in future years it could get very expensive and frustrating. I think 7 is the age at which you can do it as they start to have smaller parties just with their close friends.

DaisySteiner Sat 23-Aug-08 10:10:23

But then I'm speaking as someone whose children are not at all close to their cousin, so might be talking out of my bottom wink

Ceolas Sat 23-Aug-08 10:32:57

I hear you Daisy, but we have an older DD whose parties have been at home (smaller circle of friends) and cousins have been there too. She'll be 9 in Feb and won't be having a 'party' again - just a friend or two to go out.

Perhaps if we had all the girls from the class to the party and then tea at home for the cousins? They are all coming next Saturday for the baby's birthday too!

posieflump Sat 23-Aug-08 10:35:29

I would ask your dd if she would like the 12 school friends and not the cousins
Whatever she answers go with

DaisySteiner Sat 23-Aug-08 10:59:01

That sounds like a good compromise!

Ceolas Sat 23-Aug-08 11:24:48

And the 7/4 split would be OK with the class friends? That's my real problem.

piratecat Sat 23-Aug-08 11:30:00

my dd has a class of 25, so picking an handful would not be too bad, i htink it's a very tricky situation if there are only 12 in her class.

My dd went to a great party in a village hall the other day. It was a making stuff party. Tables set out with differenthtings to do, and they all got to interact really well, by joining different tables/friends.

The they had the party food bit and cake.

I know you have the place booked but to leave out 4 kids seems unfortunate?

TsarChasm Sat 23-Aug-08 11:45:17

I have started to jettison cousins from the parties.

We usually see family/cousins another time.

I tend to give the school friends seen daily the priority with parties. It keeps the wheels rolling along smoothly for school relationships and I think at this age that can be quite important.

jellybeans Sat 23-Aug-08 11:49:57

I think it is fine just to invite some. I would, though, eventually exclude cousins and friends kids (if numbers are limited), I have had to do this, otherwise theres no room for school friends!

Ceolas Sat 23-Aug-08 12:26:14

There are 24 in the class. It's 12 girls.

Clary Sat 23-Aug-08 21:16:50

16 is loads isn't it.

I might even try to limit if it was me to 12 tops at £10 a head. I agree with those who say ditch the cousins now (sorry if that sounds harsh)

7th birthday parties often smaller round here. DD actually had a biggish one but even then there were certainly girls in her class not invited (does calculation) yes I reckon it was about 7 invited an d5 not if that's any help.

By this age they know who their friends are. DD is definitely not pally with the girls she didn't invite. No problem either way - I mean they don't invite her either and that's fine.

Yr DD doesn't want to inite all 12 girls does she? If she doesn't, really really don't. I've had it with inviting guests the partygirl/boy doesn't want at thei rparty just to avoid upsetting someone, as it;s usually me who gets upset (speaking from bitter experience here).

Ceolas Sat 23-Aug-08 23:14:06

Well she voted to keep the cousins. Tbh they are very close. We see two nearly every day, and the other three about once a week.

She didn't want to invite all the girls from school. I just felt we maybe shouldn't be leaving such a small number out. If you take the boys into account though the non-invited are in the majority! wink

Clary Sat 23-Aug-08 23:34:28

well then invite the cousins and the girls she wants.

Why invite girls she doesn't want to invite? It's her party (and yours) but not theirs. Blow party etiquette is what I say.

islandofsodor Tue 26-Aug-08 12:26:27

I wouldn't leave the cousins out but dd has only 3 cousins and they are very, very close.

I would give her a limit of 5 children to invite from school, plus cousins and the non school friend. 5 out of 12 is not a bad number to leave out.

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