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Please help! Baby shower on a budget!

(34 Posts)
babyshowermadness Thu 16-Jan-20 13:35:48

I'm having a bit of a nightmare here. My sister has asked me to plan her baby shower, which initially I was happy to do, however her list of requirements is a little OTT (in my opinion) and I'm supposed to do it all on a budget (she will be contributing a little, but I get the impression she's not happy with this and expected me to fork out the full whack!).

I feel like this post is going to be a long moan, but I really want to throw her a good baby shower. I think I can probably manage decorations (although any tips are welcome!!!) but my main issues are as follows:

- She's given me a list of 50 people she wants to invite. I have to assume that not all 50 will attend (I know some of them don't live in the country and some she hasn't seen since university). Still, I need to find a venue for at least 30-35 people

- She doesn't want it to be held in a bowling club or any kind of 'social' club.

- She's very specific about the area she wants it in, which I can understand because of travelling logistics however...

- Venues in this area who allow free function hire don't allow outside catering. Even the buffet menus are extortionate and I'd have to foot the bill.

- She won't have it in my home because it's too far outside of her desired location (again, I understand but man that would have kept it cheap!!)

- We can't have it in her home because it's quite limited in space, and also they are in the process of renovating to move.

- The shower will need to be held at the end of March so outdoor picnics are also out of the question because we're in Scotland and it's effing freezing at the best of times.

I really don't know how to plan this shower. Games, cakes, decorations I could have done easily but I'm coming up a blank on venues. I didn't expect it to be this hard!

If anyone can help I'd really appreciate it!

OP’s posts: |
Selfsettling3 Thu 16-Jan-20 13:39:24

I you contact the people to get an idea of numbers? Maybe suggest afternoon tea in cafe and people pay for themselves. Or tell your sister she is being ott.

youngestisapsycho Thu 16-Jan-20 13:40:35

Tell her to organise her own shower. Why is she expecting you to do it?

katzenellenbogen Thu 16-Jan-20 13:43:44

If she is that bothered then tell her to crack on with it herself.
Why is it your job and why on earth would you pay for it?

INeedNewShoes Thu 16-Jan-20 13:44:51

That would be a no from me.

I wish baby showers would fuck off back from whence they came.

It’s almost as though women want the fuss and attention and people shelling out money on them because they enjoyed that for their hen do/wedding so a baby is a good excuse for another shindig at everyone else’s expense.

Sorry, not helping you OP, I know.

mummmy2017 Thu 16-Jan-20 13:46:06

Everyone invited pays for their own meal, you gift one to your sister.
Maybe find a nice pub? Or hotel.
Afternoon tea with cakes.
Ask everyone to bring an item, everyone to guess what it's use is.
A nappy cake is easy to make, YouTube.
YouTube for games as well.
If most people have not seen her in a while bet you chat more than play.

Charley50 Thu 16-Jan-20 13:49:37

Who the fuck does your sister think she is?! Why should you be paying for her baby shower? Her and her partner should pay, even if you agree to organise it. So glad people didn't have this crap back in the day.

babyshowermadness Thu 16-Jan-20 13:54:43

I think it's my job partly because she generally hates organising things like this and I generally quite enjoy it. However this was before all of the above requirements. Any of her friends who have had baby showers have had them organised for them as well so she probably thinks its standard practice.

I know someone else offered to organise it for her and she wasn't impressed because they suggested the bowling club option.

If it were for my friends I would happily just organise a private dining room and we all pay for our own meals. However (and I could be wrong) I suspect there may be a few in her party who expect everything to be prepaid and will slink off leaving their share of the bill.

Ideally I'd just throw it at my house, put on a load of finger food and bake a cake. But then, it's not my shower is it.

OP’s posts: |
roiseandjim Thu 16-Jan-20 13:57:23

People expect to pay their own way, don't foot the bill for the entire thing!

BendingSpoons Thu 16-Jan-20 13:57:36

I know this was not the question but she is being extremely unreasonable expecting you to pay for this. I think you need to say no, either she compromises on venue or she pays.

Foghead Thu 16-Jan-20 14:00:25

Just tell her you can’t afford it. Ask her how much she wants to spend then give her some options in that budget.

Originalusernameunavailable Thu 16-Jan-20 14:02:30

Ask her how she expects it to be paid for.
I detest baby showers but that’s personal opinion.

katzenellenbogen Thu 16-Jan-20 14:08:22

Ideally I'd just throw it at my house, put on a load of finger food and bake a cake. But then, it's not my shower is it.

No, but that is what you are able to offer.

If your sister doesn't find that to her taste then she can sort it out herself.

piercedmyfootonaspike Thu 16-Jan-20 14:18:58

Afternoon tea at a cafe or cakes at someone's house are the only baby showers I've ever been to (grudgingly). Who hires a 'proper' venue for a baby shower unless you're in the only way is Essex?!

theweebleshavelanded Thu 16-Jan-20 14:21:51

if I was asked to go to a party and THEN PAY it`d be a decline, plus a present!!
Show her your findings own venue/ food costs. Show her your budget.

she accepts something simpler/ cheaper.

or not at all.

theweebleshavelanded Thu 16-Jan-20 14:22:16

she is a classic CF

theweebleshavelanded Thu 16-Jan-20 14:24:32

if she wants a full on babyshower (which are usually detested in the UK) then she either accepts yours or sorts it herself. is she usually like this?

I`ve been to one shower. It was toe curlingly cringy and grabby. never been since.

Hanab Thu 16-Jan-20 14:30:41

I despise baby showers esp if I am invited and have to take a gift as well as paying for a plate of food or nibbles! Each to their own I guess

.. that said ..

if she wants a BShower with all the trimmings and the instsgramable venue she should foot the bill 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hanab Thu 16-Jan-20 14:31:13

Instagramable 😂

MsChatterbox Thu 16-Jan-20 15:03:00

I've just organised a baby shower. I had similar issues where I had a very tight budget but a big guest list. How I did it was hire a church hall, on the invitation write an item of food for that person to bring (as there were so many people they only had to bring something small like Coleslaw, a quiche etc). Luckily had a friend that had decorations already. I made the nappy cake myself. Games I did pin the dummy on the baby (amazon), baby bingo (amazon), guess number of sweets in baby bottle (poundland) and guess the bump measurement (string pre cut up slightly too long). It ended up being about £100 in total.

You need to tell her what you can afford to offer her and if she isn't happy then she needs to contribute or ask someone else to throw it.

babyshowermadness Thu 16-Jan-20 15:07:43

I know, I completely understand why people wouldn't want to come and bring a present and pay for a meal. Especially if it was a big 'do'. I mentioned that just because it's the sort of quiet event I'd probably prefer to this, and because a friend of a friend recently did the same and it was suggested to me as an alternative.

But I think you are all right and that isn't the way forward.

Yes. She is usually like this unfortunately, it's a bit of a nightmare and generally I try and keep my distance but when there is a new niece/nephew involved it's hard.

OP’s posts: |
babyshowermadness Thu 16-Jan-20 15:09:42

@MsChatterbox that sounds exactly what I'd like to do. I can get decorations and games etc fairly cheaply/DIY it's the venue that's really stumping me.

What's wrong with a bowling club anyway? confused

OP’s posts: |
rainbow1982 Thu 16-Jan-20 15:16:54

Baby showers are a bonkers idea we adopted from another country and are irritating! They just scream 'being me a present' and for that reason are ridiculous!!

I'm 20 weeks pregnant and wouldn't expect any of my loved ones to be pressured into buying our baby a gift which is all a baby shower does, plus how BORING for other people! Worse than a christening!!!

Your sisters absolutely nuts expecting you to pay for it!! 🙄🙄🙄

babyshowermadness Thu 16-Jan-20 15:27:15

I believe that's why she wants one. It's a not so subtle move to say 'bring me a present'.

OP’s posts: |
mencken Thu 16-Jan-20 15:32:57

I believe that the American custom is for the FRIENDS of the upduffed to 'shower' them with presents - but they don't buy again once the baby is born. So you can't organise your own shower as that is asking for presents. Demanding that someone else does it is equally grabby.

does she really think 50 people are that interested? And those horrendous juvenile stupid games?

yes, meet in a cafe or afternoon tea venue and lose the rest of it. Presents are for when the stork has landed safely.

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