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If your child received an invitation to a party at an out of town shopping centre, 30 mins drive away, would you expect...

(25 Posts)
Ceolas Sat 25-Aug-07 11:19:15

...transport to be provided, or to drive him/her there yourself?

Here's the dilemma...

DD2 is 6 next month. I'm currently a day past EDD with 4th baby. Have booked her party at the Build a Bear Workshop (to minimise hassle to me!). Told her she could invite a few friends from school and she wants 5. With our 3 that makes 8. Fine, apart from the fact that we can't transport 8 children (+baby) even in our 2 cars.

So, do I tell her she can't have 5? There are 3 definites and 2 others on equal pegging IYSWIM - can't have one and not the other.

Or do I offer parents the choice of us taking them or meeting us there, in the hope that at least one wants a quiet wander round the shopping centre on a Sunday afternoon?!

Must decide today...

PassingBreezeBlocks Sat 25-Aug-07 11:21:32

I would expect to make my own arrangements to get there, tbh!

scienceteacher Sat 25-Aug-07 11:22:04

I would expect the parents to take their own children.

WideWebWitch Sat 25-Aug-07 11:23:21

I;d expect to make my own arrangements if my ds/dd were invited, I wouldn't expect you to do it. So I think you issue invitations and transport is not your problem

Ceolas Sat 25-Aug-07 11:23:39

And would you be cheesed off at having to drive 30 mins there and back?

CorrieDale Sat 25-Aug-07 11:23:49

I think I'd lways expect to have to take my child to a party. Well, until they're old enough to not want to be seen anywhere in public with me.

scienceteacher Sat 25-Aug-07 11:26:16

Not really. If it was a unique place as you are suggesting, I would be happy enough. I'd just hang out in the shopping centre for the duration of the party.

We have a popular party location about 25 minutes away, and we have to pay for parking. I just buy a paper and plonk myself in a cafe with a glass of wine or cup of coffee, then have a wander when I'm done.

LIZS Sat 25-Aug-07 11:27:58

I'd expect to take my own child or combine with another invitee to lift share, not the host to take them unless it was a very select number.

cece Sat 25-Aug-07 11:28:10

I would expect to drive them myself and would drive half an hour - have done so in past and no problem with it.

WideWebWitch Sat 25-Aug-07 11:29:00

Wouldn't bother me if it was 30 mins there and back, have been invited to parties where this is the case.

LIZS Sat 25-Aug-07 11:35:47

Chance for mums to coffee/shop without kids - I'd drive 30 minutes for that !

Easywriter Sat 25-Aug-07 11:37:32

I have had a birthday party that was 30 mins away (1 hour for some parents) we invited 23 children and they were all expected to get themselves there and they did.

Maybe it's where we live (there isn't much that's suitable nearby if you want an 'organised' party) but everyone accepts that they are responsible for getting themselves there and back.

potoftea Sat 25-Aug-07 11:39:07

Maybe let the parents know who else is invited and suggest they lift share.
I wouldn't expect to provide transport unless you know one family don't have a car or something.

nutcracker Sat 25-Aug-07 11:39:18

I'd expect to have to take them myself, and no it wouldn't bother me. However, I don't drive, so if it were my child, i'd have to tell them they couldn't go.

cylon Sat 25-Aug-07 11:40:28

you have theparty, and expect one or two of the mom's tohelp you to transport th kids.
i dont think that is unreasonable at all.

fryalot Sat 25-Aug-07 11:41:41

I have always taken dd1 to parties, wherever they are, and will expect to do so with the littlies.

Occasionally, the parents of the child having the party has picked dd1 up and dropped her off again later and I have always been surprised by this.

Ceolas Sat 25-Aug-07 11:43:52

They all know each other and AFAIK they all drive.

So you think don't offer transport?

WendyWeber Sat 25-Aug-07 11:46:19

I think it's generally accepted that unless transport is offered (very unusual) you get yourself there, regardless of child's age - so no, don't offer smile

Blimey, you could hardly have more on your plate at the moment, they will understand!

cylon Sat 25-Aug-07 11:46:55

most definitly dont offer transport.

Peachy Sat 25-Aug-07 11:48:24

This happens laods here (and back home) where services are more stretched than in city areas- its never been expected for parents to lay on transport

LIZS Sat 25-Aug-07 11:48:27

no don't offer, if they have a logistical problem I'm sure they'll say so or arrange a share. Can imagine two mummies planning a spree while you entertain the lo's !

Ceolas Sat 25-Aug-07 11:52:13

That's what I'd do tbh. Offer to take someone else and have a nice hour strolling around.

We actually have a very popular party venue about 20 mins away. No-one bats an eyelid.

Just feeling a bit paranoid and hormonal atm, I guess blush

Kbear Sat 25-Aug-07 12:00:19

Sounds fine to me. Most mum's will have a coffee and a mooch about. Others might arrange for one to drop off and one to pick up to save going twice if they don't want to stay.

If it's a major problem to them they will decline the invitation.

bozza Fri 31-Aug-07 21:55:22

I think it is feasible either way. Is there one mum you are particularly friendly with who would be willing to help with transport? Otherwise, I wouldn't mention transport on the invite. But if I knew of a Mum who didn't have transport like nutty, I would make arrangeements. I imagine if it is only 5 children you know the circumstances of the Mums to an extent. I often share lifts/looking after younger siblings with one of my friends.

mummytojess Tue 25-Sep-07 22:00:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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