4 year old DD just been uninvited to a party tomorrow

(66 Posts)
Coffee999 Fri 10-May-19 20:48:13

Hi, I am a bit shocked as I have received a text from a mother saying her daughter has been upset by my daughter this week and so she'd rather she doesn't come to her daughter's party tomorrow. She doesn't know exactly what happened but doesn't want her daughter upset at her party. I will ask my daughter what happened in the morning but I am feeling dreadful. It's going to be so awkward at pre school for the rest of the term. How should I handle this?

OP’s posts: |
RubberTreePlant Fri 10-May-19 20:49:48

I think you just have to ignore anyone that dramatic.

Check to see if there's been a major incident, of course, but I doubt it.

Joopy Fri 10-May-19 20:49:56

Ask the mum what happened, my first thoughts are that's it's an over reaction...but then I don't know what happened!!!

cherryblossomgin Fri 10-May-19 20:50:30

Tell you can't go to the party and take her somewhere else? Or ask what's been going on with her friend and maybe make the girl an apology card for the next time she will see her?

LittleLongDog Fri 10-May-19 20:51:24

Just say “I’m so sorry, I’ll talk to DD.” And move on with your life. Kids fall out all the time.

mumtobabygilrl Fri 10-May-19 20:52:32

She's 4!!! Kids fall out all the time. At 4 I doubt your DD could have done anything too bad!! What a over reaction from the other parent! Take DD somewhere else and bless her she will have a better time not going!

Some parents are total knobs

SpeedyBojangles Fri 10-May-19 20:53:17

Ridiculous of the mother! My 4 year old once came home from nursery upset because another little girl told her she had curly hair (she does have curly hair). She was in tears for a good hour after school. They can fall out over the most ridiculous things and that that age and make up again the next day. If it was anything serious pre school would have mentioned it I'm sure. Mother is being completely precious.

You could ask your DD what happened but it's likely she won't remember (as it was probably a non-event!). Also ask her teachers/key workers if they know anything about it.

Maybe take her out somewhere nice to make up for not going to the party.


RubberTreePlant Fri 10-May-19 20:54:22

And don't feel awkward. You're not the (ridiculous) parent taking preschoolers squabbles to heart.

CostaLotta Fri 10-May-19 20:54:51

The mother is ridiculous. Don't even worry about it, take your daughter somewhere else and don't mention it to her.

hopeful31yrs Fri 10-May-19 20:54:50

Mine wouldn't remember in the morning. The mother sounds batshit. One to avoid

ineedsomeinspiration Fri 10-May-19 20:55:10

So they’re preschool age? If that’s right then it’s just silly as they forget arguments at the drop of a hat and are best friends again 5 minutes later.

gamerchick Fri 10-May-19 20:57:22

Thank her for letting you know she's batshit ^ and send a laughing smiley.

Those who take the shenanigans of 4 yr old seriously like that need to be avoided.

KennDodd Fri 10-May-19 20:58:29

That is such piss poor parenting of the birthday child mum. What a terrible example for her child.

Jen1997 Fri 10-May-19 20:59:30

"I'm sorry xxx has felt upset by my dd this week. I'm will speak to DD and find out what has happened. I'm sure you're aware thought that children of this age often get upset over seemingly little things so it's a shame you've felt the need to exclude a child. I will endure I take her out somewhere nice to make up for it as she had been looking forward to the party."

Jen1997 Fri 10-May-19 21:00:34


IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls Fri 10-May-19 21:01:03

I like @gamerchick advice smile

IncrediblySadToo Fri 10-May-19 21:01:32

Why are you feeling dreadful?!

Come on, you need to pull yourself together. 4 year olds can fall out over the stupidest of teeny tiny things then be best friends 5 minutes later.

It’s the parents that create the drama. The other mother is being utterly & completely ridiculous. It’s HER who should feel awkward, not you.

IF it had been something major you’d have heard about it before now.

Don’t remind DD about the party & don’t interrogate her, at some point over the weekend drop something into the conversation about her friend and see how she responds.

It really is no big deal, except for the Mum being ridiculous.

Figgygal Fri 10-May-19 21:02:06

She's ridiculous and going to get a reputation if she carries on like this in school

CarolDanvers Fri 10-May-19 21:02:32

She's going to feel like a complete fool when her dd and your dd are playing together and being besties next week.

Jellybeansincognito Fri 10-May-19 21:09:41

4 year olds fall out and strop at each other all the time, I’m genuinely shocked a parent has behaved like this?

dustarr73 Fri 10-May-19 21:10:30

Look at it as the lucky escape it was.Who needs the drama

Disfordarkchocolate Fri 10-May-19 21:14:13

Bit of an overreaction from the other Mum. If she gets this involved in petty falling out she is going to be very busy for the next few years. Don't worry about it and find something else to do.

MarthasGinYard Fri 10-May-19 21:17:14

'It's going to be so awkward at pre school for the rest of the term. '

It's pre school

Bloody hell

This parent is one to avoid by the sound of it

spinn Fri 10-May-19 21:17:23

Nip this in the bud now and do not get drawn in.

I wouldn't even ask my child about it at this point but tell the other mother thanks for letting you know and it would be advisable to raise concerns about this with their keyworker at preschool to monitor and intervene in a more timely manner

You talking to daughter now would be so out of context for her that you will likely not get an accurate summary whereas staff at preschool can challenge behaviour as it happens. If they agree there are issues, then I'd talk to my child.

CripsSandwiches Fri 10-May-19 21:19:50

I would check with one of the pre school staff that something terrible hasn't happened (if it had they would have most likely told you) and if not just ignore this silly mum.

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