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Is it ok to leave out a few friends?

(6 Posts)
Busymummy50 Mon 16-Oct-17 22:03:26

My son plays with 5 boys at school. He is closer to 2 of them out of the 5. For his birthday, he would like to invite the 2 who are closer to him and leave out the 3. But he's concerned the other 3 might not like him for it. So he would like to do something for his birthday with 2 of them and then do something else with all 5.

I'm not sure what to do, if I should leave all the friends and just do a family celebration instead.

Is it ok to leave out 3 or is my son's idea of doing 2 things so no on gets left out is good? I tried to encourage him to invite all 5 but the activity he would like he thinks is better with his 2 closer friends.

Has anyone had parties and left out certain kids that your kids didn't want and how did to deal with it?

MrsOverTheRoad Mon 16-Oct-17 22:17:34

Hmm. I think if he plays with them all on a daily basis, it's likely to cause issues. Why doesn't he want the 3 to celebrate? Are they not as nice as the other 2?

Plenty of people will say it's fine and really, at 5...I suppose it is. But it can cause issues when one child goes home and says "Tom has left me out! He said he was my friend" etc.

At the end of the day it's your DS party...but I'd try to find out why he doesn't want all of his friends. Then work from there.

Busymummy50 Tue 17-Oct-17 10:06:08

We had a talk. When the 6 if them gets together, some become more boisterous but when the 2 or 3 of them are together, it's more civilised and the activity he wants to do with 2 of them is more civilised. So he suggested that perhaps invite all 5 on a separate occasion to the activity with 2 boys and do something like paintballing or swimming when it's ok to let loose!

MrsOverTheRoad Tue 17-Oct-17 11:46:09

So two parties? shock

He sounds very articulate OP....and this is so good for him. Learning about why he feels the way he does will make him more socialy intelligent.

Eringray Tue 17-Oct-17 19:08:24

He sure sounds mature for his age!! But inviting only 2 of them is sure cause issues with their friendship if the others gets to know. So I would have all of them together or not have anyone at all. Maybe your son can have some time with his 2 friends on a later date.

Busymummy50 Tue 17-Oct-17 20:41:54

We've decided to treat him with his 2 friends to an activity on a separate occasion and have all 5 for a party in his birthday smile

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