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No show at kids party

(19 Posts)
MsLoisLane Sun 23-Oct-16 08:43:16

This is my first post here and just looking for a bit of help!!
Had a 4th birthday party for my DD yesterday. It was lovely but 3 children from her pre school didn't come despite their patents texting to say they would. I understand anything can crop up at last minute but I'm genuinely a bit worried I've put wrong date on invites. I'm 90% sure I haven't but have this nagging doubt. I have their numbers, should I text to check and how should I word it without sounds like I'm being sarcastic or an idiot?! I don't know the mums at all and I'm not sure I should just leave it? Any help or advice appreciated!!!

Bagina Sun 23-Oct-16 08:47:26

From what I've seen on here this is completely the norm. Ds's is next week. I'm going to send a few reminders to the flakier parents but I reckon 30% won't show. It's a small room so ds won't notice. It's just a shame as there are more children we can invite if we know in advance.

GrumpyDullard Sun 23-Oct-16 08:48:10

For my son's 4th birthday, I invited 5 children. The parents all said they'd come and then not a single one showed up. I only had the number for one of the kids' parents. They'd forgotten but eventually turned up an hour late. DS didn't seem too bothered, but it broke my heart. I learned not to book a party again during the school holidays. I don't think you need to worry.

Bagina Sun 23-Oct-16 08:49:14

Oh and I'm not sure I'd contact the parents. Depends on my mood. I might send a pa text asking if I'd put the date wrong (but knowing full well I hadnt).

MsLoisLane Sun 23-Oct-16 08:50:33

Thanks. It was out first 'proper' party so not sure how these things normally go! Appreciate the replies and good luck with you party Bagina!

Bagina Sun 23-Oct-16 08:51:17

Grumpy did you have a thread on here about it? I remember a thread where everyone was rooting for the little boy where nobody had turned up to his party. Heartbreaking.

rainbowstardrops Sun 23-Oct-16 08:51:32

It seems par for the course unfortunately. That's why I hate hosting children's parties.
We tend to just invite a couple of close friends for a day out now.

insancerre Sun 23-Oct-16 09:01:45

I'm sorry but that's totally normal
I work in a nursery and parties are the bane of my life!
Parents demand lists
Then expect us to hand out the invites and collect the replies
They then expect us to chase those who haven't replied
They give us invites for children who they know have left, expecting us to somehow deliver them
They phone constantly demanding we chase the non replies; sometimes they don't even know who hasn't replied because they didn't keep a list or they've lost it
Then they complain after the party about parents not turning up, often bringing arty bags for us to pass on with dodgy looking birthday cake in and then get offended when we say , sorry, we can't give out cake
Then there are the arenas who think they can bring in cake and party food for all the children in the nursery and have their child's birthday party actually in the nursery.
Sorry grin rant over
Op, at least you only have to contend with birthday party angst once a year. For us, it's constant

GrumpyDullard Sun 23-Oct-16 09:05:12

I didn't have a thread, Bagina, but I'm glad I'm not the only one it's happened to.

ReggaeShark Sun 23-Oct-16 09:06:59

Par for the course, sadly. Rude buggers.

Oblomov16 Sun 23-Oct-16 09:19:41

One poster invited 5 children and not one of them turned up? Good grief! I've never had a no show.
And most of the parents I've spoken to round here haven't either. Or one out of a big party of 30 ... doesn't make a difference. Round here the biggest complaint is siblings coming aswell, taking a party bag and there not being enough for the genuine invitees!!

Just goes to show how areas vary!!

Bobafatt Sun 23-Oct-16 09:20:18

If the rest turned up it is unlikely you wrote the wrong date. I suspect they forgot / got detained.

I think some people just reply then recycle the invitation, whereas I (control freak) store the number in case of disaster, and so there's an outside chance I will get the correct name of the parent.

Most of the no shows have been genuine mistakes, and apologetic.

Bagina Sun 23-Oct-16 09:25:58

I think it's hard when they're young as they don't know who their friends are, bar 3 or 4 regulars, and we can't know all parents. We've done the small at home parties but hiring somewhere is actually cheaper and relatively stress free. I've invited 50% family in the hope of ensuring that at least it will be half full!

Bagina Sun 23-Oct-16 09:29:39

insancerre I would suggest a new policy to the manager in your situation. It's ridiculous that parents expect all this. I would be saying that we'll help to distribute invitations but that's the end of the involvement.

insancerre Sun 23-Oct-16 09:35:53

Thanks bagina
We have that policy, as I am the manager and I've introduced it
It still doesn't stop parents, even though I've mentioned it in newsletters several times
Some of them are quite high maintenance

Bagina Sun 23-Oct-16 09:46:17

Ha ha! I can imagine!

MsLoisLane Sun 23-Oct-16 11:12:18

Grumpy, out of interest did the no shows ever get back to you to apologise?

MsLoisLane Sun 23-Oct-16 11:12:56

Just seems hideously rude if they didn't

GrumpyDullard Sun 23-Oct-16 12:10:54

No, Lois, they didn't. I don't know if they just completely forgot and never realised they had missed it or if they were too embarrassed to mention it. I was too upset to mention it to them, so I'll never know. I like to think the one mum who (eventually) turned up with her son told them and they felt REALLY bad.
DS had only recently started pre-school at the time, so we hardly knew the invitees or their parents. He has a different group of friends now (Yr 2). In retrospect, it was a really bad idea to have a party during the Christmas holidays as everyone loses track of the days at that time of year.

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