Reception party - girls-only or girls and boys?

[MamOfTwo]

DD is in Reception. I have already decided against a whole-class party (madness!) but would you do all girls (about 15) or half girls/half boys? DD plays mainly with two particular girls and one particular boys, and various girls and various boys now and then I think. Also I wanted to do a fairy/princess party (adding a pirate/superhero to join the fair/princess entertainer ups the cost!) but that would only work for girls only. I mean, boys wouldn't be happy to go to a fairy party, would they?! Any advice welcome!

[Muchtoomuchtodo]

Have a mix - keep her friendships fluid. I've done whole class at that age when they're new to school and haven't had chance to establish friendships. As long as it's not at home it's fine as most parents tend to stay.

Make it fancy dress, leave the theme out of it but make her a fairy castle cake.

[MamOfTwo]

Hmm, I can see what you're saying but the entertainer I had in mind does a whole fairy-themed act.

[AuntieStella]

I'd invite the ones that my DC likes.

And consult her about party theme that works for her and her friends.

[Micah]

Seriously?

Set a number limit, ask her who she wants to invite.

Also I wanted to do a fairy/princess party

What does your DD want to do?

What if there are girls that don't want to go to a fairy princess party? Some don't, you know. Make it less gender stereotypical, give the children more choice of dress up outfit. Make it "fantasy" or "fairy tale characters". I'm sure the entertainer won't have a contract which specifies sex of participants, and all will enjoy.

Do the party, invite the children your DD wants there. If the boys are worried their penises might fall off if they go to a girls party, they can say no.

[LaLoose]

I agree with Micah. It's a bit odd for you to want a fairy princess party. Invite your child's friends, regardless of gender, and get a non-gendered entertainer, such as a dance / DJ / pop. At a fifth birthday party, one would hope the children's idea of gender is more fluid. Perhaps you should think about that as well? I don't mean to sound in any way aggressive but you sound as if you might be putting your daughter in a pigeonhole.

I have girl/boy twins and their joint birthday parties have always been enjoyed by either gender (I think/hope).

[Finola1step]

My DD is turning 5. ^She^ wanted a whole class, princess party. The princess entertainer available has a limit of 25 children. So dd is getting a princess party for all the girls in her class plus other girls she is friends with. Job done.

I did a while class party for ds when he was Year 1. Never again.

[AnnaMarlowe]

My DS was invited to a party with a princess themed entertainer and had a great time. Any entertainer worth her money should be able to adapt to both boys and girls.

Parties at this age are generally mixed ime.

[PamBagnallsGotACollage]

Let her invite who she wants and choose a theme she wants. Most boys won't mind a fairy themed party one bit, unless they are being conditioned to think it's 'girly' by parents. Yes, there are societal pressures to conform to gender stereotypes but you can fight those with your child to help them grow up to be a well rounded and inclusive person.

Maybe choose a different entertainer or put on some party games yourself if she only does one theme and it doesn't suit.

[LauraChant]

When he was four DS was happy to attend a fairy themed party. He wasn't asked initially because the mum assumed he wouldn't want to go but when she mentioned it I said he'd be fine, and he was. There are boy fairies, I assume, otherwise how are there baby fairies?

Admittedly it was hard to find a costume, I foolishly assumed there would be elf type costumes in the shops, but we got a Peter Pan costume and a pair of wings. The costume has been very useful since, for Forest School ("come as one of the Woodland Folk"), Robin Hood, etc.

[Peppapigallowsmetoshower]

I'm struggling to believe this OP. Of course you should invite boys. You said she has particular boy and girls friends so invite them. Then you say she plays with various other boys and girls so invite them. It wouldn't occur to me at all to limit it to girls or boys. They are her friends...

Have a fairy and elf theme like Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom. Or have a full on fairy theme and let other children decide whether to come or not.

It's fine to have one entertainer and it to be the one your daughter would like. Organise the party for her and others will enjoy it or not, that's beyond your control.

[MamOfTwo]

Just to clarify a few points - I did ask my daughter what she wanted. I admit my OP made it sound as though it was all about what I wanted but that is not the case. My DD is actually not a girly-girl although in this case she is the one who asked for a fairy party. It is quite common at our school to have girls-only or boys-only parties. I have a nephew who would not have been happy to attend a fairy party hence my asking if boys wouldn't mind that theme - glad to have been proved wrong. Having two DDs (who are completely different to each other), I am well aware of the negative impact of gender stereotyping and we talk about this at home. Thanks for all your advice (even the PA advice)

[Cressandra]

Let her invite who she wants. All the girls plus a handful of boys seems common. Send princess themed, very pink invitations to boys and girls alike and call it a princess & prince party or something. Boys and their parents will be under no illusions about how princessy it'll be, and they can decide whether to come or not. It might cost you a bit more on oddments, eg if you are getting tiaras you might want to give a less girly option too. Ideally don't tell the girls they have to have tiaras and the boys they have to have crowns, but get crowns for all or have a few spares so they have a choice, but it shouldn't be too bad.

My son would be fine with a princess party at that age. IME boys who play a lot with girls often lose out on party invitations - I think some girls' parents think they will be difficult or need special treatment, but they really don't. Invite them, set their expectations, don't bend over backwards for them or overthink it.

Re party bags, if you just have a handful of boys and your general party bag stuff is v girly, you could get them a joke book or sticker book from the pound shop. But my boy loved getting heart themed notebooks etc.

And next year, she might want a Star Wars theme!

[Cressandra]

Sorry, swap princess for fairy. Boys can be fairies or elves, or just make it clear fancy dress is optional.

[Trumpette]

Get her to name who she would like, you will find the first half a dozen children are who she plays with regularly and then she will start to have to think harder about who she wants!

Keep it simple, 'fancy dress welcome' nothing worse than being asked for specific outfit if your kids don't like that! Eg superhero party.

IME parties are not a competition but about your kids and their friends. If you keep it simple, it will be fine!


Games always happen quicker than you think so have loads in back up. Pin the tail, treasure hunt, muscle statues/chairs/bumps, piñata, pass the parcel with a sweet in each layer, have two present if more than fifteen kids as it keeps them all occupied! What's the time Mr Wolf. Party girl gets to award the best fancy dressed person a prize. Loads of games!

As for party bags, the book people multi pack of sticker books or phonic books, or whatever is on special. We individually wrap them so kids pick one of their way out (better than plastic toys IME).

Preparation is the key!

Good luck.

[figureofspeech]

I've got the same dilemma atm as my dd wants a girls only party but she's been invited & has attended 4 boys parties so far. I have come to a compromise that she can have a girls only party next year if she has a whole class party this year. It's only fair that she reciprocates the invites that she's received so far plus she has a db that will be there who wouldn't want to be the only boy out of 20 girls!

[upthegardenpath]

Please encourage your DD to mix with boys as well as with girls, at this age in particular.
It is so important for boys and girls to have opposite gender pals.
My DD is only in Y3 and it saddens me that so many of the parents with boys only, have boy-only parties and encourage their sons to be mini alphas and hang out only with boys at school.
My DD loves having friends who are boys but has now mainly got girl friends - the boys who were hanging out with the girls are trickling off completely, mainly goaded and teased by the alphas who don't think they ought to!
I know to some extent this is a phase for many boys, but encouraging girls and boys to carry on being mates throughout their school, can't be a bad thing.

[attheendoftheday]

I did a fairy party for dd1 last year, attended by many boys. I sent out the invites and let them choose whether to attend. I did try to make sure the activities were as gender neutral as I could manage. We did magic potion making alongside the fairy crafts and had a fairy obsticle course, also had a few dragon and bat wings available as an alternative to fairy wings for anyone (male of female) who prefered them.

The most reluctant child was an 8 year old boy who was dragged along with his younger sister. At the end he said he'd really enjoyed it (he and a couple of others invented a way of making a snot potion from the ingredients).