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Is it morally wrong to have substandard party bags for the non-RSVPs

(21 Posts)
quail Fri 30-Nov-12 18:55:15

I sent out 16 invitations over a month ago, and got 12 RSVPs, 4 of them in the last day or two. Because some were so late I had to keep ordering stuff really late in the day, it's a bear stuffing party. I also didn't buy enough goodie bag stuff (did it online for cheapness and didn't want to buy stuff I wouldn't use). I have enough bears but the party bags of the people who didn't respond at all are going to be improvised with stuff from round the house, like small bags of chocolate buttons. I mean, there are a lot of party prizes, they will win things, and they get the bear. And a balloon! But if I get found out when kids compare (if they show up, even!) is that naughty? Should I have bought as many things as I invited people?

SoupDragon Fri 30-Nov-12 18:58:14

So, you are punishing the children?

fluffywhitekittens Fri 30-Nov-12 18:58:57

If they're all getting a bear I don't think I'd bother with party bags at all. But your post title made me smile

Iwillorderthefood Fri 30-Nov-12 18:59:27

You probably should have provided an RSVP by date. I learned the hard way as well. Party bags, I never have just enough since invariably someone turns up who you were not totally expecting. You can always recycle the contents.

RightUpMyRue Fri 30-Nov-12 18:59:40

I don't think you can teach the parents a lesson about party invite etiquette by doing their kids out of goodies.

The party bags should be the same no matter when the RSVPs were received. You'll have to share it out best you can.

LadyMargolotta Fri 30-Nov-12 19:01:12

Agree with fluffywhitekittens.

All the children should recieve the same, and a bear each is enough!

ggirl Fri 30-Nov-12 19:02:39

hahaha ...deinifitely punish the non responders...don't give them a thing.

I can see this as an hilarious Victoria Wood sketch grin

Yama Fri 30-Nov-12 19:05:06

Nobody is entitled to a party bag so please don't stress.

Lesser/improvised party bags are better than no party bags.

Go with what are planning - it's fine. I'm sure no child will feel punished at getting to go to a party, getting a bear and a party bag.

quail Fri 30-Nov-12 19:05:50

Everyone who has RSVPed is bagged up and ready to go. But the 4 no-RSVP-at-alls don't have extras. I haven't set out to punish the kids or the parents!, have just been waiting and waiting. Should people just over-buy? At this point, I could still easily have overbought 4 bears. That's quite annoying anyway! Should I lose the other stuff from the bags I have prepared, then? The extras are cheap junk and the bears are quite tiny.

quail Fri 30-Nov-12 19:06:56

Worried I'm giving too much stuff anyway now. I'm not good at parties. I never gave them as an adult.

RooneyMara Fri 30-Nov-12 19:08:31

LOL at this. It's hilariously passive aggressive and a bloody brilliant idea smile

Sorry, seriously, yes do it, whatever it takes to minimise wastage. People ought to answer when they're invited to things even if it's only verbally.

quail Fri 30-Nov-12 19:10:40

Everyone who's taking their kid to a party tomorrow will be checking carefully with friends. And now, because I've been posting, I've forgotten whether I put a rubber in the last one, and I should have, because now I'm doing her sister's. If I give different ones to twins I'm sunk. (The twins rsvped)

DollyTwat Fri 30-Nov-12 19:10:48

Put nitty gritty combs in them grin

lljkk Fri 30-Nov-12 19:10:50

yanbu, I don't think most kids get a chance to compare so no one will know the difference.

naturalbaby Fri 30-Nov-12 19:12:42

Ooo I never thought about this - I have RSVP'd really late to the last couple of invites blush.
When we did our last party I did the bags myself so ordered things in sets of 3 or 4 and had a few extra bags left over anyway.

Next time I'm just doing a bag of sweets, making a few too many so it doesn't matter if there are too many and there will be few for the late reply-ers.

lljkk Fri 30-Nov-12 19:17:16

I once had someone RSVP the day after the party was held. grin

DD's 11th birthday party she wagged her finger at her mates in advance and told them "No party bags, we're too old for that now!"

5madthings Fri 30-Nov-12 19:20:40

I did a bear party and they didnt get a party bag as they got the bear!! I used they were very good smile

fuzzpig Fri 30-Nov-12 19:21:45

What if somebody picks up somebody else's child from the party as well as their own, to help another mum out... and one child has a good bag and the other has a crap one?

Disaaaaaaaster <channels Craig Revel-whatsit>

quail Fri 30-Nov-12 19:22:30

You will be relieved to read that I managed to share it out and there is virtually the same in all of them.

AmazingBouncingFerretDude Fri 30-Nov-12 19:22:37

It's a genius idea. I bow down to your PA. grin

quail Fri 30-Nov-12 19:23:02

But not the same. I have my favourites.

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