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Party for a very shy 4 year old

(7 Posts)
MimiLaSouris Mon 01-Oct-12 10:55:42

My DD will be 4 in January. It's a few months away but I'm already worried about it.
We have never hosted a party before. The last 3 birthdays were only celebrated with close family (parents and grand parents) and even then she found it overwhelming.
She goes to 2 different chilcare settings and she has one best friend in each. When I ask her if she would like to have a proper birthday party this year, she's really keen but only want to invite these 2.
The thing is she has been invited to other children's birthday parties and I feel we should reciprocate. Especially as she's going to go to school with quite a few of them and I don't want to offend the other mums (we live in a village too so everybody knows each other).
She's fine at other children's parties but she can't bear to be the centre of attention. She would not enjoy herself at all if they were say 10 children and their parents (and possibly siblings). But she would enjoy having entertainers (face painting, magician etc) which doesn't feel worth it with only 2 guests (if they can both come too).

What would you do?

3duracellbunnies Mon 01-Oct-12 18:58:36

Dd2 is a bit like that, she did have a biggish joint party with dd1, but I don't really think she enjoyed it. I wouldn't worry about reciprocating at this stage, I would suggest doing a bigger party when she is in reception, if anyone says anything just say that you will do a bigger 5th birthday. I would maybe just buy some face paints, ELC ones are fairly good, and just practise on her for a month or two. I would also maybe just get some craft kits plus a few little party games. Also by jan of reception (assuming you are in England), many children are just dropped off so you won't have lots of siblings / parents, it is just her classmates.

3duracellbunnies Mon 01-Oct-12 19:20:13

Sorry what I mean is just have a party this year for her two friends at home, as long as that is what she wants, then a bigger party the next year.

SminkoPinko Mon 01-Oct-12 19:22:46

I would ask her to invite one child for each year of her age.

MimiLaSouris Tue 02-Oct-12 17:23:10

Thanks for your replies. I think I might go with just the 2 this year. Maybe she'll feel more confident next year. I guess I can explain the situation to the other parents and maybe invite their children for a one-to-one play date.

mamababa Tue 02-Oct-12 17:26:11

Ask the staff at the nursery who her friends are. My DS is not shy but when I asked him about his birthday he still only said two names. His best friends basically grin

Rosebud05 Tue 02-Oct-12 17:32:41

If your dd only wants 2 friends round, go for that. Don't pressurise yourself to reciprocate other invites - people can make their own choices re their children's parties.

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