Anyone else just wish they would move out?

[Teesstar]

My eldest DS (21), no real job, has given up uni despite all the debt for nothing, does naff all to help at home, not even his washing. His room stinks, he comes and goes to girlfriends, friends BLM protests then waltz’s back in to where I have myself and 3 other ds’s (17,15,11), he barely communicates with me and pulls a face like I am stupid if I have an opinion he doesn’t agree with!

I am getting so close to just saying time to move on!

[HollowTalk]

It's well past time for him to move out. Does he have a job?

[Windyatthebeach]

Does he pay board? Is he responsible for his own cooking /washing etc? Ds2 stayed at home til 24 and then bought a house but was a very welcome and positive addition. Ds1 20 was booted out for anger issues and had done naff all for years...
Yanbu to give him notice to leave..

[Teesstar]

He has a job lined up but it’s only for some bar work. He does nothing in the house at all unless I nag at him and then it’s only if he isn’t doing he wants first!

I know it’s time he needs to get sorted and get out and I need to stop making it so damn comfortable for him to stay here!

[Aquamarine1029]

Do you pay for his phone and Wi-Fi? If so, I would be shutting that off, asap. Doing His washing or making his meals stops immediately. Your other teens should be doing their own laundry, too. He's getting away with being a useless freeloader because you're allowing it. He is disrespecting you and your home because you're allowing it. It's time he grows up.

[HollowTalk]

He needs to be looking for a full time job and somewhere to live. He's treating you all badly.

[user1471464702]

My brother lived at home until my parents died as did my cousin who is now 67 years old - no bills council tax hand outs and for my brother has not actually done him any favours he might have saved money but it cost him and my parents in many many ways - I only found out the extent of this when my mother suddenly died and had to share care of my dad - even at my mums funeral my dad gave him 100 pounds to tip the funeral team and buy drinks all while I looked on dumbstruck !

[Teesstar]

He has just got his own phone contract (at long last!) he pays £60 a month and I don’t always get it!
He is very self centred.
The issue has been me - I was in a bad marriage (not with the older two sons dad) and it took me years to get out of it, and stop going back for more abuse! So now I have this awful guilt that I ruined their childhoods, so I let them get away with too much. I have started to put my foot down now though, and it’s caused some upset. But I am actually past caring about who gets upset now, if he doesn’t like the new rules he knows where the door is!

[MockneyReject]

Yep, I also have that guilt.
I have a large, 25 year old, depressed, grumpy man in my home. He pays nothing toward the running of my home, as he doesn't really live here (I broke lockdown and drove 11 hours to collect him, as he was not coping). He's actually a nice enough bloke. But I don't want to live with a man. I am currently spending 5x what I did, on food. Because he is big and hungry.
I don't know what the answer is. But I sympathize 💐

[Mrsplantpot]

Yes I do but it’s breaking my heart to be feeling like this.

[Murrfect]

Oh I really feel for you - what do we do for the best? It’s so hard to know